|
The Two is the “obvious” compulsion of the heart triad. They appear to be very caring people. As children, they knew that they were beloved of the universe. Their Soul Child is the special and central Four. When they could not maintain this truth, they became needy of the love of others to “re-convince” themselves of the truth they already deeply know. “Others must and will love me!” they demand, instead of resting in the love that they already are.
Twos need to be needed. “I will make you need me. I will ingratiate myself to you by loving service so that you cannot live without me.” Perhaps the message they received as a child was “I am loved when I am tender, understanding, ready to be helpful, and defer my own needs.” But in this way, the child also felt powerful, while grown-ups looked weak and needy. This provided fertile soil for the sort of false pride that is the root sin of Twos. They secretly look down on those they “serve,” and they see themselves as wonderful because they can serve and love so well. This pride is very subtle.
Twos repress consciousness of their own needs and pretend they don’t have any needs at all. “My only need is to meet your need.” But be forewarned: finally, one day they realize, “No one’s giving back to me!” Then they get into the blame game and can become downright cruel. It’s almost the flip side of what they want themselves to be. But it can also be the beginning of their conversion into who they really are.
If they allow grace, Twos may cry for days as they realize their hidden self-interest—that all along they have been giving in order to get something back. Such humiliation leads to their emerging virtue, which is humility. I think we see it in Pope Francis.
A mature, healthy Enneagram Two returns to being the genuinely loving and beloved person that they once knew themselves to be. They have found their identity as the Love they already are, and they are now able to love themselves and others with God’s love. They no longer need to be continually reinforced from the outside.
Adapted from The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective,
pp. 45, 63-65, 72
and The Enneagram: The Discernment of Spirits
(CD, DVD, MP3 download)
Gateway to Silence:
I want to see all—my sin and my gift.
|
