What could be better than perfect you ask?

Excellence. And arguably, Good Enough.

Mia worked at a top engineering firm. The experience was intense, with high expectations and tight deadlines. Mia threw herself into her projects, determined to prove herself. She often stayed late, meticulously refining her work to ensure it was perfect.

One project, in particular, became a turning point. Mia was working on a design proposal for a new client. She spent countless hours tweaking every detail, striving for perfection. As the deadline approached, her manager, Laura, reviewed her progress.

Laura, an experienced engineer, noticed Mia's perfectionism and the toll it was taking on her. She called Mia into her office and shared her own experiences. "Mia," she said, "I understand the desire to make everything perfect, but in our field, we often have to deliver under tight deadlines. Sometimes, good enough is not just acceptable; it's necessary. Excellence is about making smart choices and knowing when to allocate your time and energy effectively."

Yes, there are times when getting everything right is essential. If lives are at risk or failure has grave consequences, it's vital that you test, check and adjust your plans and actions. However, most people don't operate under those circumstances, and even those who do, aren't in those environments 24/7.

None Without Consequences

Perfection is nearly impossible and exacts an enormous price. Excellence can also take a toll when it is spread too thin.

When Good Enough is the only goal, it can stunt improvement & growth.

What's the Difference?

Striving for Excellence is about upholding high standards and acknowledging the need for flexibility while perfectionism is far more rigid in its approach. Good enough means currently, all things considered, this effort is sufficient and there are no critical problems.

A Closer Look at Perfectionism

Perfectionism and its downsides for mental & physical health are well researched and written about.

Perfectionism manifests in three domains which often overlap.

Self-oriented: We self-impose unrealistic & impossible standards, self-scrutinize and self-criticize.

Other-oriented: We impose unrealistic expectations on others and expect infallibility. This leads to interpersonal difficulties.

Socially-prescribed: This type of perfectionism is related to the expectations we perceive others to have of us. We base our self-worth on these outside standards and fear the social consequences of failure, criticism or rejection if we don't meet them.

What Are the Common Threads?

Unrealistic expectations and standards. Fear. A harsh inner critic. Rigidity.

Dr Tal Ben-Shahar describes adaptive & maladaptive perfectionism in his book, The Pursuit of Perfect. Many perfectionists attribute their success to their perfectionism, seeing it as a superpower or motivator. In reality, those qualities often create roadblocks and suffering. People who struggle with the maladaptive type have a difficult time appropriately adjusting to the situation or environment. Perfectionism is a pattern of qualities and behaviors that persist throughout a person's experiences.

Common factors:

• Set high, unrealistic goals
• Become immobilized, finding it hard to start, finish or meet deadlines
• Give up if they feel they can't be the best or "win"
• View mistakes as failures and may try to conceal them
• Spend excessive time planning or redoing work
• Agonize over small details
• Ruminate over decisions or any perceived "mistakes"
• Display black-and-white and catastrophic thinking patterns
• Have difficulty delegating
• Don't like taking risks unless a successful outcome is guaranteed
• Are overly concerned with what other people think about them
• Don't handle criticism or feedback well
• Are overly critical of others and apply unrealistic standards
• Experience high stress & anxiety when things go awry

If you are concerned that perfectionism may be a significant factor impacting your health & quality of life, it's recommended to seek advice from a qualified professional.

Turning Toward Excellence

Excellencism is a term coined by Patrick Gaudrea, professor of psychology at the University of Ottawa. Excellencism is about working toward excellent rather than perfection. It involves setting high standards, being open to new experiences, coping with failures and adopting a growth mindset. Excellencists strive toward attainable standards in an effortful, yet flexible manner. They can hit the pause button, zoom out and take care of themselves in the process. As a result, they show higher intrinsic motivation and more feelings of positive well-being compared with perfectionists.

It's important to remember that "Excellent" varies. It changes, evolves and develops over time with our knowledge, experience and wisdom.

What metrics determine excellence?

It can be productivity, timing, efficiency, innovation, progress -- the key is that the metrics are realistic and attainable.

The Focus: Do the best with what you have.

Know Your Why

• What is the purpose of this pursuit?
• Who does this pursuit of excellence serve?

Rigorously Prioritize

• Where does this fit in?
• What is most needed now?
• What price am I able & willing to pay?
• Where can I employ 'not yet'?

Define Success

• What does the destination look & feel like?
• What are the benchmarks along the way?
• How will I celebrate small wins?

Keep the Boundary

No doubt there can be a fine line between the quest for excellence and perfection. Creating a framework and having tripwires can help us stay on track.

• Know your strengths & limitations
• Align with your values
• Keep it realistic and stay flexible
• Designate a reality check partner
• Lead with appreciation for yourself and others
• Measure progress
• Take breaks
• Adopt a growth mindset: Failures will happen. What can I learn?
• Get good at receiving feedback and regularly seek it
• Create partnerships instead of going it alone
• Check in: Do I still see the value? Making progress? Learning? Having fun?
• Schedule time for recovery: exercise, hobbies, social time with others

Leaning Into Good Enough

It can be daunting to attempt excellence in All areas All at once, All the time. Somedays and in some parts of your life, Good Enough is just right. Accepting "good enough" is not about settling; it’s about achieving a sustainable and fulfilling approach to dealing with your current reality.

This is where realistic appraisal, zooming out and self-compassion come into play.

Ask yourself:

• On a scale of 0-10 how important is this really? Will this still matter tomorrow? How about next week? Next year?

• Do I have the resources and support I need?

• What compromise makes sense?

• I may want excellence, but can I be okay with good enough? Might I even be happier because I will have extra bandwidth for something else?

• Can I be kinder to myself in how I'm thinking and speaking?

Pursuing excellence is a journey that requires dedication, resilience, and a willingness to learn and adapt. It is a path that can lead to personal and professional fulfillment and to a meaningful and impactful life. Embracing "good enough" is about recognizing the value of balance, efficiency, and self-compassion. Both are pathways away from maladaptive perfectionism and toward a healthier, happier way of living.