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In the opening of the 2nd chapter of her book “Prayer in the Night” Tish Harrison Warren writes this:
WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I was afraid of what lurked in the dark—monsters in the closet, ghostly sounds of branches scratching the roof, bad guys just beyond the door. Back then, I could bolt from my bed and wedge myself between my sleeping mom and dad. But now that I’m the grown-up with my own five-year-old who squirms her way into our bed each night, where is my safe place? Imagined monsters in the closet seem easier to hide from than the fear of cancer or the throb of disappointment or the loss of a job or the hard conversations that I replay in my mind or my uncertainty about how to parent my kids or live life well or trust God. The band Over the Rhine has a song that asks, “Who will guard the door when I am sleeping?”1 Each night I ask that question. Is anyone watching out for me? What does it mean for God to keep watch with us?
As I read it, I thought of the night after the 911 attacks in New York and Washington D.C. I remember after the special worship service we had at the church, we were trying to put all 4 of our children to bed, and no one would go. No one wanted to be alone that night. And so, we all brought our sleeping bags and pillows into the living room and slept together, as a family.
As we were settling down, one of my youngest started to cry and for some reason that night the tears caught on. Soon we were all crying. It was then that one of my kids asked if they could read us a poem. It read, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me.”
And as our children slept, Cyndy and I stayed awake watching over our children. Wondering what monster in the closet might come out next. But also believing with all our heart that God was doing the same for each of us. I felt that night, that I understood how God felt now. I mean after all, God can’t control everything, either. My faith isn’t that God will magically make everything all better, but instead that God is there with me in and through it all…watching over us, and yet knowing there is so much out there that we can’t control. I guess the best thing we can do is watch over them with every ounce of hope and love we have. We don’t promise it will all go away; we just promise to be there with them. And that, it seems to me anyway, is what God promises too!
Dear God, give us the gift of faith. Give us the gift of knowing that we are never alone. Give us the faith to know that even in the shadows of doubt and fear, we can believe that you will be with us.
Pastor Brook
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