I’ve worked with thousands upon thousands of professionals over the past 30 years, and just about every one of them would tell me that they are open and wanting to learn and get better. Actually…that’s not completely true. I’ve had two people (yes, I could count them on one hand) who were aware enough to tell me that they weren’t open to coaching.
We all want to think we are open and receptive. We all want to believe that we can be model students and learn from those who want to help us improve, but it does require a few skills including humility, humbleness, and honesty. While I know we’d all like to believe we possess these traits, and we may, but I see them lacking more than expected with people who enter a coaching relationship.
I used to co-facilitate a leadership program with a colleague who would compare this to “teaching a pig to sing.” It won’t work, and you’re really going to frustrate the pig. Trying to coach someone who is truly uncoachable produces the same futility. As a matter of fact, a lack of coachability is one of the most common reasons new hires fail in their role. They are unopen to hearing feedback and unwilling to act on it.
So, I ask again, “Are you coachable?”
Here are a few items to consider to determine if you are ready to be coached by someone who is looking to help you improve.
- Are you ready to discuss some difficult goals or challenges?
- Are you ready for some tough feedback?
- Are you ready to learn to do something different?
- Are you prepared to be challenged about how you do things?
- Are you prepared to be wrong?
- Are you okay with being uncomfortable?
- Are you okay with others misinterpreting or misunderstanding your intentions?
- Are you ready to apologize and accept accountability over something you might not agree?
- Are you ready to remember your coach is only trying to help?
- Are you ready to ask for input and feedback?
- Are you prepared to do something differently?
People talk about coaching quite often; however, we don’t address what it takes to be coached. Phil Jackson, NBA coach said, “Good teams become great ones when the members trust each other enough to surrender the Me for the We.”
