• What is “deceptive affection” in couples?

• A realistic appraisal of what therapy “can and can’t do”

• Myths about motherhood, according to author Peg Streep

• The two categories of depression: “endogenous” vs. “exogenous” 

• The concept “post-traumatic growth” explored on the Hidden Brain podcast episode, “What We Gain from Pain”

• On not “fitting in” at work

• Exploring the Use of Psychodynamic Psychotherapy



• Solutions to Modern Life Dilemmas, According to Socrates, Plato and Aristotle



• "At the Edge of Visibility"

The Men's Group Seminar: Artificial Intelligence: How Does This Advancing Technology Impact What It Means to Be Human? 

Artificial intelligence (AI) refers to the development of computerized systems that utilize numerous technologies including machine learning and natural language processing. The development of AI has been driven by the need to create intelligent systems that can analyze and interpret vast amounts of data and ultimately perform tasks that normally require human intelligence and energy output. Already, AI has made significant advancements in various fields and even entered domains involving human social relationships, emotions, and self-perception. The entry and proliferation of AI in these domains raise important ethical considerations about the intersection of technology and the human condition. 

AI algorithms used in social media platforms, for example, curate personalized content based on user preferences; this enhances the user experience yet can also create information bubbles and filter out diverse perspectives, which can lead to echo chambers and polarization. In online dating platforms, AI helps users find compatible matches more quickly, but a reliance on algorithms may oversimplify the complexity of romantic attachments and partner selection. Even AI-powered virtual assistants and chatbots, while enhancing convenience and efficiency, reduce the need for and tolerance of actual human interaction. Finally, AI now even plays a role in shaping human behavior through personalized recommendations, targeted advertisements, and algorithmic decision-making processes.  

In the next meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, February 17, 2024 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will explore how AI is impacting human psychology and behavior and discuss the ethical, philosophical, and cultural controversies involved in this advancing technology. The interview of neuroscientist Matt Botvinick (Director of Research at DeepMind) on the Lex Fridman Podcast will be our central focus. We will also consider other commentaries on AI including the podcast episode How to Use AI Ethically (with Nathanael Fast, Ph.D.) on the American Psychological Association’s Speaking of Psychology and the articles AI is Taking Over Our Workplaces and Brace for Cognitive Impact from Artificial Intelligence.

To register for this upcoming seminar, please see the directions below.

The Relationship Group Seminar: The Delicate (and Often Confusing) Balance between Negotiation and Acceptance in Relationships 

A chronic tension and ongoing decision-point in long-term committed relationships involves the tension between negotiating with your partner (i.e., to advocate for you preferences, needs, etc.) and accepting the reality (and likely shortcomings) of your partner’s personality, capabilities, perspectives, etc.  Negotiation consists of numerous interrelated components including communication, empathy, a collaborative mindset, and a willingness to find mutually beneficial solutions. Conversely, acceptance involves tolerating (and even celebrating) each other’s unique qualities and perspectives; acceptance inherently values the utility of each partner's maintaining his or her identity (“me”) in the relationship while simultaneously being merged in an intimate union (“we”).  

Negotiation and acceptance may be considered primary competencies in all couples. Finding the right balance between them is essential for any long-term committed relationship. Too much negotiation can erode individuality and emotional connection. On the other hand, too much acceptance can lead to a lack of boundaries and compromise, causing resentment and dissatisfaction.

Yet the appropriate balance between negotiation and acceptance, and the successful employment of one vs. the other, is particularly challenging, even among couples who are generally content in their relationship. The reason is that underlying the negotiation vs. acceptance conundrum are well-established beliefs and unconscious assumptions, often stemming back to childhood, that each partner holds about four relational factors: power/control, boundaries, fear of conflict, and expressing/advocating for one’s needs. Each partner’s specific challenges across these factors determine the negotiation vs. acceptance dynamics at play.

In the next in-person meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, February 17, 2024 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will explore the negotiation vs. acceptance dilemma and the four relational factors contributing to it. While a common view is that negotiation and acceptance are not mutually exclusive, I will explore the psychological rationale for approaching them as holding independent functions necessary for commitment.  

To register for this upcoming seminar, please see the directions below.

New Psychotherapy Group Forming

This therapy group aims to help individuals involved in current or previous relationship involving narcissism and codependence dynamics. In the safety and supportive atmosphere of the group therapy format, individuals will learn about these dynamics more deeply and explore the emotional and psychological pathways for overcoming them. The group will consist of didactic and experiential components to aid in the recovery process. This is a therapeutic experience and entry into the group will occur only after a pre-group screening interview and preparation phase. Referrals are welcomed (please contact me at 949-338-4388 or at jt@jamestobinphd.com).