“Found by Grace”

         I have known her for almost twenty years. She was a recent college graduate when she came to Albuquerque to attend UNM for a master’s degree. She applied for the administrative assistant job at the church where I served and she was not the most qualified person applying. But she was persistent and patient and when we met in person after several phone conversations, I not only knew she was perfect for the job, I knew I would love her forever.

         She became like a daughter to me and after several relocations for both of us, after she completed law school and I became an intentional interim, after health scares and through despair, we have remained close.

         She called this weekend, just to check in. She lives in Florida, her home state, still in relationship with the young man she loves, still working for the federal government. She’s happy. And when she talked about the future plans of marriage and having a family, I was not surprised. It’s the natural unfolding of things for someone her age. But when she brought up that she wanted, expected even that I would officiate at her wedding, I was stunned, caught off guard by being asked, and by how much it meant.

         Isabella is Catholic. She has a close friend who became a priest. I always thought he would be the officiant. And I was fine with that, which explains the surprise of her request but not why it made me weep.

         I haven’t been surprised by grace in a while. I’m sure it’s because I haven’t been paying attention or haven’t opened myself to the sudden delight of beauty. I’m sure it’s because I assumed these old bones in my spirit, like the old bones in Ezekiel’s vision were dead. So dead, in fact, I hadn’t even entertained the idea that they might be resurrected.

         You ever feel that way? And then to feel something come back to life?

         To recognize the catch in your breath because of something spectacular? To be unprepared, not expecting the perfect streak of blue in the sky, the delicious taste of a ripe apple, to be asked to do something you didn’t even really know you wanted to do?

         To be valued. To be honored, delighted. Forgiven. To look up and find yourself right smack in the middle of joy.

         Trust me, it’s enough to cause the need for you to say, “Give me a minute. I just need a minute to let this wash over me. I just need to sit with this. Just a minute.”

         Something unlocked inside of me this week; I can’t even explain what happened. I just know that when my young friend made mention of our relationship, said out loud what she thought I knew but didn’t, I was somehow open to it, the beauty, the delight, the perfect offering of love. And it brought me to my knees.

         Sometimes it seems we go months, maybe even years, unaware of how deep is our longing to connect, to feel appreciated, seen. Sometimes it seems we have gone so long without noticing grace that when it does show up, all we can do is be grateful. Breathe it in and be grateful.

         One day soon I will bless this wedding and I am sure I will weep again. At the gift of marriage, the depth of friendship, the hold of love upon our hearts, and the surprise of what it is to be found by grace.

You are the light of the world!

Warmly,

Lynne