ISSUE 89

NOVEMBER 2023

Seemingly a hundred years ago when I was in college, there was a day when along with many others, I was hanging out in the student lounge.

The conversation was unremarkable. Complaints about homework or professors, some current events, and random campus happenings. In typical introvert fashion, I was on the edge of the conversation (having spent considerable energy battling the urge to return to my room). The banter was fast and there was a feel of burgeoning camaraderie in the air. I decided to enter the fray and tossed some words into the mix.

Thud. Maybe not quite, but definitely a shift. The break was brief and the conversation returned apace. Someone, who I really didn’t know, tapped me on the arm and said, “You’re better than that, Wendy.”

Oof. Of course, I was embarrassed. The only reason I didn’t run back to my room was because I was too mortified.

And yet, I didn’t run. In fact, in an inexplicable act of courage, I asked what she meant. She, an east coast Junior, quickly explained to this small town Wisconsin kid that the turn of phrase I had used was racist. I had no idea. None. Looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t know, but I didn’t.

As we explore the gift of generosity this month, that story is palpable within me. I think of how she might have judged me or shunned me or ignored me. Instead, she saw my ignorance and my mistake and believed (without any evidence or reason) that I was better than it. That is the kind of generosity that is a gift and it is the kind I want to pass on.

Who has offered you that kind of generosity? To whom have you extended it?

With the holidays and family get-togethers drawing closer, I wonder how they might be shifted by exploring generosity as gift through which we see people as better than the moment they are offering us.

November Theme: The Gift of Generosity

When we are feeling the poorest, that's the time to give a gift. - Dhyani Ywahoo

It’s a great spiritual truth: We experience what we long for, when we generously give it away. Jesus put this insight at the heart of his ministry: “You must lose your life to find it.” We lift it up every time we say, “To give is to receive.”

So, if you are struggling with a lack of something in your life right now, turn this truth into your spiritual exercise this month. Don’t try to find encouragement; give it to others. Don’t tackle your problem head on; look for others with the same struggle and find a way to offer them help. If you are feeling “poor,” figure out a gift you can give. Hungering for someone to listen to you, generously listen to others. Long to belong, create community for others. Looking for affirmation, double down on giving positive comments to others.

The key to this exercise is to do it more than once. We suggest doing it for a week, starting each morning of that week with an intention to keep an eye out for opportunities to generously give others what you long for.

Here’s a great article to focus and inspire you.

Transitions

Roz Farnam passed away September 27.

Board of Trustees October Meeting Summary

Melissa Colegrove was named to the Board of Trustees to complete the term of Martha Johns.

The BOT approved the endorsement of Rev. Shauna Foster as an Affiliated Community Minister for JUC.

Planning for the Fall Congregational Meeting was the primary objective of the meeting. All trustees participated in the planning and held a role in the presentation. The goal of the meeting is to actively connect with members and to share our experiences in focusing on our Values, Missions and Ends.

The Gift of Heritage and Planned Giving

Heritage can include the legacy that we leave behind for future generations. Planned giving can be a spiritual practice that can preserve one’s heritage by sharing one’s wealth to perpetuate UU values through future generations and make a significant impact on the world. The JUC Legacy Circle recognizes donors who have made a planned gift to JUC. A planned gift can be a part of your estate plan such as a bequest in your will, a beneficiary designation in your retirement account, or a charitable trust.

Contact our Planned Giving team: Bud & B.J. Meadows or Carol Wilsey

On a recent Sunday, as I was walking around the campus, I was struck with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the volunteers who make church happen each week at JUC. As I peeked into the classrooms I saw Faith Exploration teachers enthusiastically interacting with our youth. I saw people making coffee, ushering, greeting folks and working in the commons. It really hit me that each of these amazing people volunteer their time, many of them every Sunday to do the work of church. These are people with busy lives - jobs, kids, grandkids, caregiving responsibilities and yet, something calls them to exhibit a kind of generosity that is truly inspiring. And the generosity isn’t just happening Sunday mornings - there is a dedicated group of volunteers planning retreats, leading Moms and Dads groups, leading Nature’s Keepers, planning the Halloween party, leading adult FE classes - and that is just within the Faith Exploration realm - there are many people people volunteering in so many other ways - on the Justice Council, at memorial services - the list goes on and on!!!

We are fortunate to have so many dedicated and generous people at JUC. We are also fortunate to be part of a generous faith tradition. Thinking about generosity as a gift that Unitarian Universalism gives us makes me think of the way in which our faith provides a spacious container that holds us, that provides some structure, some shared values but that also provides plenty of space for us to search for our own meanings, to share what we are thinking and to hear different perspectives from others. I like thinking about generosity as something we give - in our service to others and also as something we receive.

One way of receiving the generosity of our faith is by attending one of the many opportunities for Faith Exploration that are being created by Rev. Wendy, Rev. Jen and myself, along with many generous lay leaders. Our Spiritual Practice Series gives congregants who want to explore incorporating a spiritual practice into their lives, the chance to learn from JUC members who have a regular practice. Racial Justice Without Shame offers a chance to explore barriers and ask questions that will help folks on their journey toward anti-oppression work. Our monthly Theme Thing gives us a chance to delve deeper into our monthly theme in a unique way each month. After the holidays, Rev. Jen will be leading workshops on Healing Religious Trauma and Unitarian Universalist history and Rev Wendy will be leading workshops about Article II and also offering another chance to experience Sacred Earth. Each of these offerings is meant to allow our members to explore the many gifts of Unitarian Universalism. It can be hard to keep track of all of the wonderful offerings! As always - the best way to keep up on all of the happenings is to make a habit of reading the Weekly Connection!

I want to highlight two November events that are open to all ages - the Guatemala Fiesta, happening on Sunday, November 5 after the 2nd service (sign up link) and the Indigenous Unlearning Conversation happening on Saturday, November 11 (sign up link) and the Indigenized worship on Sunday, November 12. These are wonderful ways for our community to come together in multi-generational connection and each provides a unique opportunity to learn about the world outside of JUC and how we participate in that world. Please see the Weekly Connection for more details about each of these events.

I hope that in this month of Thanksgiving you are able to be on both the giving and receiving end of generosity.

Recently, I was reminded of an ancient Bedouin practice of generosity I first learned about from my Arabic teacher, who was Moroccan, in college: In traditional Bedouin culture, if a stranger comes to your house, you are to provide hospitality for 3 days before asking the stranger who they are, where they’ve come from, or where they’re going. That way, either he will be sufficiently rested and recuperated to present the best of himself, or you’ll already have become friends, and it won’t matter.

Within this custom, the Bedouin host felt an obligation not only to make the guest comfortable during their stay, but also to do whatever they could to make the next leg of their guest’s travel easier.

Not all Bedouin still adhere to this custom; many Bedouin now live in urban areas and have taken on more “modern” ways of being. But some, particularly the ones who still live more traditional nomadic or semi-nomadic lifestyles - in countries as far flung as Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Kuwait, Oman, the United Arab Emirates, and Gaza - still do adhere to this spiritual practice of generosity.

As a Black person, and as part of a wider BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and other people of color) culture, this resonates with me. As a biracial person, I was introduced early to different underlying assumptions about hospitality and generosity between my Black and white family. This is not to say that either side was “wrong” in how they practiced generosity, but there are definitely differences.

One is that, in Black spaces, and in most wider BIPOC-centered spaces I’ve encountered, nearly all gatherings include food. People are invited first to nourish their bodies, before anything else takes place. In fact, if the gathering is for “business,” often the bulk of that business is sorted out over a meal, or in the extensive socializing that happens before or after the formal meeting. This points to a wider underlying assumption I've noticed in Black and BIPOC spaces, which is that it is expected that time will be taken to get to know the people one is expecting to do business with personally. Hence, there is much less of a delineation between the “official” and social parts of any gathering.

So why do I bring this up? Well, on November 11 and 12, we will be joined by Kia Bordner*, an Indigenous UU religious educator. She will introduce to us to some experiences of growing up Indigenous in the land we call the United States. And she will shine a lens on some assumptions that non-Indigenous folks make about Indigenous people and experiences.

Some of the truths about Indigenous experience, and about the ways we non-Indigenous people tend to think about Indigenous people, may be hard to hear. But they may also encourage us to change the ways in which we think about generosity, about welcome, and how we do community in this time when we are thoughtfully and heartfully engaging what it means to be a multicultural, multigenerational community.

And unlike the Bedouins, you WILL be invited - and encouraged! - to ask questions of our guest!

So I encourage you to consider the thought-provoking questions that Kia has provided us ahead of our gatherings, as we meditate on how WE will practice generosity as we learn about our guest and about Native experience. What will she challenge us to unlearn and relearn about Indigenous peoples - and about ourselves?

Please join us for a highly-interactive conversation on Saturday, November 11 at 10 am about Indigenous experience. In the Indigenous way of being, kids and youth are very much welcome and encouraged to come and participate, so bring the entire family! Also in the Indigenous way of being, you are encouraged to bring a brunch food for a potluck, which we will enjoy as conversation unfolds! Sign Up link

And then join Kia again on Sunday, November 12 for an Indigenized UU service that will be unlike what most of us are used to. It will be an authentic, organically Indigenous experience of UU worship. Then, you (again, regardless of age) are invited to stay after 2nd service for another conversation with Kia about Indigenized ways of worship. Food will be provided. I really hope to see you there!

*Kiakiali (Kia) Bordner (she/they) is the granddaughter of Juan Crisostomo Renteria of the Tigua People of Ysleta del Sur; of Maria Teresa Baca, whose Nation has been lost to colonization; of the Monteverdes of the Yaqui Peoples; and of the Meiers of Germany.

It’s with such great sadness that I write to say that I’ll be leaving my position at JUC in a few weeks. I know this may come as a shock, and it was certainly a difficult and a heart wrenching decision. It has been such an honor to get to know each and every one of you. I’ve never encountered such a generous and welcoming community, and I thank you all so much for opening your hearts to me. I am leaving because I have decided to pursue school full-time with a dual degree in Public Policy and International Human Rights at the University of Denver, and unfortunately a full-time position at JUC is just too much to hold at the same time. While my time with you all has turned out to be shorter than I had wanted and anticipated, I still cherish it so much, and I hope to rejoin you all as a member of the congregation when the time is right. In that way, it’s not really a “goodbye,” but more of a “see you later.” I have loved working with you all so much, and I wish each and every one of you my very, very best.

For many of us, entering the month of November means entering the holiday season. I want to remind us that, though many experience a lot of joy during this time, this can also be a really difficult season for those experiencing grief. My personal journey with grief has been central to my life experience over the past several years, and one of the most important developments for me has been simply spending time in UU spaces.

I was raised in Protestant Christian spaces, and whenever death happened, the response from the adults in my life were always the same: “God has a plan that we can’t understand.” Now, there are people for whom this type of faith is liberating, and this statement brings them peace, but that was not the case for me at all. I interpreted this statement as: “You are not allowed to be upset because this was supposed to happen, and if you’re sad or angry, it must mean that you don’t trust God.” I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say, I did not develop very healthy ways of coping with loss, and my grief was often accompanied by intense guilt and fear.

In October of last year, during my second year working at Columbine UU Church, my cousin and life-long friend lost her battle with depression. The grief and guilt around her passing was big and scary, and I was completely lost on how to begin to navigate it. And then, something beautiful happened. My church asked: “What do you need?”

In all those years of well-meaning friends and family telling me to “have faith in God’s plan,” they never once asked me what I needed, and instead made assumptions about what would help me process my grief based on how they processed their grief. When people supported me based on my needs, the grieving process became so much more manageable; I no longer felt so alone.

The reality is, there’s no “normal” way to grieve, and different people need different things at different times, and that’s okay.

To me, being “generous” frequently means taking the time to see other perspectives rather than making assumptions. It takes time and energy to do this, but it’s an important part of caring for one another. As we enter the month of November to explore the “Gift of Generosity” together, I challenge each of us to take a look at how we’re caring for others. Are we following the Golden Rule, which can frequently be less-than-helpful, or are we taking the time and energy to follow the Platinum Rule, where we ask people how they’d like to be supported?

Additionally, for those whose grief feels so big this time of year, I encourage you to find ways to connect with this community, because you are not alone. I am so grateful that this faith tradition finds ways for us to show up in our grief without judgment or expectations. We will be having our “Blue Christmas” service on Thursday, December 7, which is actually one of my favorite gatherings of the year, because it is an opportunity to hold each other and be held around the holidays.

I’d also like to uplift our Sunday service on November 5, where we will be doing our annual “Singing of the Names,” which can be such a beautiful and healing occasion. If you would like your loved one’s name to be sung on this service, please email me at leah@jeffersonunitarian.org by Wednesday, November 1.

Whether you are currently grieving or supporting someone who is grieving, this community is here for you.

Why Are We Having a Guatemala Fiesta?

June LeCrone

To celebrate! Members of JUC have recently returned from the first visit to our Guatemalan partners in the community of Rabinal, Guatemala since 2019. We are celebrating our continuing partnership with ADIVIMA, the organization in Rabinal that we work with to support 60 scholarship students. We are celebrating the hard work of the Mayan students who don’t get a free education after 6th grade. Join us for food (tamales and more), stories and pictures from our travelers, and music. Our Faith Exploration classes have been learning about our relationship with the students in Rabinal, and the children will participate in a kite parade, a tradition in Guatemala for All Saints Day. So that we have enough food for everyone, please sign up. Hope to see you there!

Stew, Cake, Cookies? Yes, please!

Gilla Lachnitt, Food & Nourishment Task Force

Who doesn't enjoy a homemade cookie with your tea or coffee? Or a hearty bowl of stew while having a chat with fellow JUCers? How about going home with fresh locally grown veggies? Our kids have discovered the goodies, too. After all, kids are always hungry!

The Abundant Harvest Table is there to nourish JUCers each Sunday after church but did you know it's also a fundraiser to support a very important ministry of our church? We partner with The Rising Church in Arvada to provide meals and support to their day shelter for unhoused community members.

Are you looking for a way to connect with fellow JUCers while nourishing both our church and wider community? There are three ways you can help:

Volunteer to bring goodies for or host the Abundant Harvest Table
Join a cook team or sign up to serve meal for the Mission Arvada Day Shelter
Give to support this great work with a direct donation

Thank you so much for your support!