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Robin used a forcing 1NT followed by a jump to 3♥ to show his 3-card limit raise, and Batman, although aceless, decided to bid game. The Penguin (West), not a big Batman-fan on screen nor in real life, began his assault with a trump lead to his partner’s Ace, and the Riddler (East) wasted no time in firing back the ♣7. Considering the auction and the clubs in dummy, the ♣7 had to be a singleton. Batman chuckled to himself that not only did he and Penguin know it was a stiff, but even the attorneys next door knew it!
Batman realized that best defense would easily defeat his contract. Penguin would of course win his Ace and return the ♣Q, thereby pickling dummy’s King: if Batman covered, it would be ruffed out, and if he didn’t, another club would follow to be ruffed by Riddler. There was not a single doubt in The Dark Knight’s brain that Penguin, a skilled opponent, would have no trouble finding this defense.
With top hat, cigarette holder and monocle in place, the ever-diabolical Penguin had a far more fiendish plan in mind. Despite knowing full well what the winning defense looked like, after winning the ♣A he instead tabled the ♣4 and not the expected Queen. His goal was to mess with Batman’s head rather than beat the contract straight away!
Batman was completely surprised… what the heck was going on? Was it possible that his RHO Riddler was up to his usual shenanigans? Perhaps Riddler thought leading low from doubleton J7 or Q7 would gain him a trick? If that were the case, no matter how Batman played, he would lose just two clubs and make his contract. While looking to his right, he imagined hearing his opponent’s riddle: If the solitary 7 causes you to frown, what other holding might take Batman down?
Then it occurred to Batman that perhaps Riddler had led the ♣7 from QJ75. If Batman’s 2♣ bid had been a 5-card suit, Riddler would give his partner a ruff and still make a club trick later on, possibly gaining a trick for the defense. Oh, what a brilliant play, Batman thought. Then Batman had an epiphany: if Riddler had in fact found his partner with the doubleton ♣A4 and dummy played low, Riddler would win his Jack and give his partner a ruff to beat the contract, just as the riddle indicated!
Batman was wise to all of the possibilities running through his brain, and he had a sure-win safety play: put up the King in dummy, draw trumps and lose just one more club, making four. Riddler’s tricky holding didn’t matter one bit, now that Penguin’s return was proof positive that Ridder’s ♣7 could not be a singleton.
Batman proudly called for dummy’s ♣K and Riddler promptly ruffed. Batman was stunned. He had been given the opportunity to make the 4♥ contract by simply playing low. “I knew the ♣7 had to be stiff,” he thought, “why even my Grandmother would have realized it… why in the world did I put up the King?”
Since Batman had no way to get rid of his losing club card, the contract failed, just as it would have if Penguin had led the ♣Q after winning his Ace. But Batman was beside himself. His nemeses had beaten his contract in a way that put his mental state into a tizzy. Batman made several errors in the ensuing boards, helping his two rivals obtain excellent matchpoint scores and causing Robin to exclaim “Holy, Batsh*t, Batman!” The Caped Crusader had indeed been Grosvenor-ed by Penguin and the psychological damage was far more than he could bear.
I don’t know if Batman sleeps during the day like all the other bats, but I do know he did not sleep a wink that night, nor the next 48 hours for that matter, while constantly ruminating over Penguin’s very clever - or inane - play!
Postmortem/Confession: Truth be told, I was declarer on this board, certain the ♣7 was a singleton, but when the ♣4 was returned for no apparent good reason, I thought for a very long time before finally putting up the King and going down. Totally distracted and feeling like an idiot, I began thinking about the Grosvenor Gambit and couldn’t get this deal out of my head for several days. Why did West return the ♣4, you ask? Unfortunately, we will never know!
By the way, if you would like to read Frederick Turner’s interesting and somewhat humorous Bridge World article, you can click on this link .
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