What we know as humans, is that relationships are complicated. They come with many emotions, decisions and maturity, the ability to have a conversation without imparting judgment and being able to see when we fall into the traps of anger, jealousy, and selfishness.
Teenage relationships can be incredibly riddled with complications, there is a maturity to relationships that teens may not have reached yet, and so their relationships may be more likely to involve unhealthy violent or abusive behaviors. It is important for us to take the time to talk with our teens about romantic relationships and help them to recognize healthy, unhealthy, abusive and destructive behaviors. We can do that by having open and direct conversations, showing that healthy maturity in our relationships with our children, spouses and other relationships that they see and by us knowing the red flags and signs that our teen may be in an unhealthy relationship.
Some of these red flags:
· Excessive jealousy or insecurity;
· Invasions of your privacy;
· Unexpected bouts of anger or rage;
· Unusual moodiness;
· Pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual activity;
· Blaming you for problems in the relationship and not taking any responsibility for the same;
· Controlling tendencies;
· Explosive temper;
· Preventing you from going out with or talking to other people;
· Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and checking in to see what you are doing and who you are with;
· Falsely accusing you of things;
· Vandalizing or ruining your personal property;
· Taunting or bullying; or
· Threatening or causing physical violence.
If your partner frequently engages in these behaviors, it may be wise to speak with someone with whom you feel comfortable. Adults who have experience with relationships may be able to provide advice that can help you to determine if you are in any danger. (teendvmonth.org, 2024)
Dating violence is more common than you may think, especially among teens and young adults: 1 in 3 U.S. teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they're in a relationship with before becoming adults. Teen dating violence profoundly impacts lifelong health, opportunity, and wellbeing. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. The good news is violence is preventable, and we can all help young people grow up violence-free.
Teen dating violence (TDV), also called, “dating violence”, is an adverse childhood experience that affects millions of young people in the United States. Dating violence can take place in person, online, or through technology. It is a type of intimate partner violence that can include the following types of behavior:
· Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.
· Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act and or sexual touching when the partner does not consent or is unable to consent or refuse. It also includes non-physical sexual behaviors like posting or sharing sexual pictures of a partner without their consent or sexting someone without their consent.
· Psychological aggression is the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and exert control over a partner.
· Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a current or former partner that causes fear or safety concern for an individual victim or someone close to the victim. (CDC.gov)
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