Searching and Fearless

In our group reading the Gospel of Mark together on Wednesday evening, there were several instances in our discussion when I was reminded the importance of telling yourself the truth. This kind of honesty requires us to be honest observers. We were reading chapter 14 and in verses 3-4 Mary arrives to anoint Jesus. Scripture tell us what some of the people with Jesus saw and thought. They were in the first perspective, an automatic one, which most of us have – that is: thinking about what the situation has to do with me personally, and stopping with that.

“While he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at the table, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment of nard, and she broke open the jar and poured the ointment on his head. But some were there who said to one another in anger, ‘Why was the ointment wasted in this way?”

Immediately they were angry about what was happening. A woman came among the men and took a central role and dared to reverently anoint Jesus. Along with their indignity at Mary’s bold act among them, their thoughts immediately ran to money. The ointment was worth a whole year’s wages. In their disbelief at what they were seeing, they turned to justify their own feelings. I can nearly hear them saying, “Hey! Wait a darn minute. That ointment could have been sold for a lot of money and we could have decided how it was be used.” These indignant disciples were not in control of the situation, in fact, they didn’t even participate or understand.

When we learn how to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, we are required to look inward and consider the situation as an objective observer, one who knows our thoughts and motivations, yet also takes into consideration the feelings of other people involved and what they may have intended by their actions. What if they could become aware that Mary’s act with the oil had nothing directly to do with them? She wasn’t thinking about them.

She had come to understand what Jesus had been telling all of them, that he must undergo great suffering and die. Knowing this, wouldn’t she have been motivated by her own grief? She was trying to do something to demonstrate great reverence for the mortal man she knew who taught her to think in a new way – a life-changing way. Using the customs of the day, she made an extravagant gesture which acknowledged Jesus as the divine son of God.

Jesus knew what was coming, and understood the whole of what Mary attempted to say without uttering a word. He scolded those who were complaining. This was to defend Mary, but also to take a moment of comfort and appreciation in this world. The love and care was surely made the more sincere and sweet in light of the betrayal and torture to come.

We can’t even partially begin to guess what was going on in Jesus’ mind. The complaining disciples didn’t even try. They were so wrapped up in self-centered thought that they were blind to the truth of the drama unfolding around them. In Lent especially, it is important to be the objective observer, to step away from selfish thoughts and think of others. This is a skill of the heart which is developed over time. It takes spiritual muscle to set the ego to the side and see the larger picture. This is the ability to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. With that underway, we become accountable for ourselves. If you really understand your inward self, then you come to understand what you are capable of. You can see yourself falling short and you can try to do better next time.

Having the full picture, imagine the impact of Easter. Jesus comes back to life after the worst of torments, and he takes you into his arms with love, no matter how accountable you are for harm done. Amen. 

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