When it comes to suicide prevention, families and friends play an important role. Wondering how you can best help? Click HERE for a helpful article that spells out good things to do and good things NOT to do when talking with a suicidal person.
When talking to a suicidal person DO:
Be yourself—do not try to be the doctor or psychologist, or the expert—be genuine and just be honest.
Listen—this is more important than what you actually say. If the person really feels that you are listening and understand what they are saying they are more likely to listen to you.
Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, and accepting. It will be difficult for them to talk to you and it is a big step forward if they do.
Offer hope—let the person know that there really is hope and that the awful feelings that they have will not last forever, but the sooner they get help the quicker the feelings will get better.
If the person is talking about how awful they feel do not hesitate to ask them if they feel suicidal—you will not put the idea in their head, but you will usually find that this is reassuring to someone that you are actually willing to talk about suicide.
When talking to a suicidal person DO NOT:
Argue with them and try to invalidate their feelings; do not tell them how much they have to live for, or just to look on the bright side.
Act shocked, lecture on the value of life, and tell them how wrong suicide is.
Promise confidentiality—if they are a suicidal risk you need to tell someone, but do not lie to them and tell them you will keep their “secret” and then go out and tell someone. It is OK to say something like, “I know you do not want me to tell anyone what you are planning, but I would rather have you mad at me and alive than killing yourself.”
Offer to fix their problems, or give simplistic advice as to how to fix complex problems. This may make them defensive and more likely to try to prove just how hopeless their situation really is.
Blame yourself—their depression or emotional turmoil is not as simple as a reaction to something you may have done or said. You can apologize if you did something, but then quickly tell them that you are sorry but cannot change the past, but they can change the future and get the help to get by this crisis.