Let Your Yes Be Yes

Recently part of our fence was blown down by the strong winds of what some termed, “A Spring Hurricane.” The pickets were old, the beams were tired, and overall, it was battered and loose, so it didn’t take much power to disable it completely. We began shopping around for something to replace it.

I won’t bore you with all the back-and-forth Michael and I often do when faced with those kind of decisions. Let’s say it has greatly improved over the years. We are far more civil with each other than we used to be.

We ultimately decided on Superior Fence and Rail, a highly rated and reasonable company, and they were extremely thorough. But what particularly stood out to me was the foreman’s integrity. On the day of installation, he did everything promised. And frankly, that, in itself was quite remarkable to me. While he wasn’t there the whole day, he made sure the crew understood how to handle the two trees in the fence line, as agreed upon in our initial meeting.

After the installation he checked all 3 rows of nails in each picket, one row at a time, for the length of 79 feet. I know, because I watched him do it. Our neighbors were concerned about how beat up the thin strip of soil on their side was after the work was done. Simon borrowed our rake and smoothed it over nicely. He then said he would come back with a magnetic nail sweep to get all the nails off their driveway and out of the backyard near the fence line.



As good as he and his team had demonstrated themselves to be already, I wondered if he would actually return. It was just getting dark as everyone loaded up all the equipment and our sad remnants of old pickets and beams onto their truck. Simon had swept the neighbor’s driveway pretty clear of debris already… and so I wondered.

Maybe an hour or two later I passed by our front door and windows and saw a truck parked outside, right in front of our house, with the headlights on, pointing toward the neighbor’s driveway. At first, I was a little concerned and then I saw a long shadow on the neighbor’s driveway, and it dawned on me that Simon might actually have returned to do exactly what he said.

As I walked over to the driveway, there was Simon with his magnetic nail picker-upper sweeping the driveway clear. He had just finished the backyard. With some panache he handed me the single nail he found which, he made sure to inform me, was not part of their fencing materials.

I cannot give you all the reasons why it moved me so, and why I thanked Simon profusely, but I have come to realize that people who actually keep their word, who have integrity in this way—and others--seem to be rather rare these days.

Part of my gig is to email and call pastors, rabbis, leaders of congregations and see if they might be interested in having me come and share our songs and stories. Over 30 years I cannot begin to tell you how many have said they would get back to me—but didn’t, or their machine said they would return the call ASAP, or how many times people (believers and non-believers alike) made promises they never kept. Maybe they were sincere in the moment, but irresponsible in their follow-up.

On the other hand, we have been incredibly blessed over those same 30 years or so, by congregational leaders who invited us to come and share our ministry. We almost never exchanged paper or contract. It was all done in trust that both parties would keep their word—and 99 % of the time that’s exactly what happened. And this paperless policy even included traveling across country or internationally.

It's not always easy, convenient, or even comfortable to be true to your words, and all of us miss the mark at times. But it is a basic value of honesty and integrity, to choose our words with care so that people can believe we will do as we say, to the best of our ability.

“But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne;  nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.  Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:34-37)

-Sally Klein O'Connor

10/9/23