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On my, time is moving quickly now! Kathy and I, and Shannon and her children, are all in that "pile and sort" phase. What belongs should / can go to the new place, and what things are best given away or discarded? This pile is going; this pile is staying. This pile is….! You get it. To be really open, my mind (and my heart) aren't there yet.
Yesterday we had the first of four webinar sessions provided by the Conference for pastors and chairs of SPRC, where a pastoral change is occurring this year. It was led by Mark Tidsworth, founder and Team Leader of Pinnacle Leadership Associates out of Greenville. I have known Mark and respected his work since the beginning of his company in 2008.
One takeaway from the first session for me was to take time to grieve. I know that intellectually, but from my CPE work at the hospital, I acknowledge I don't do that very well. While I may think I hide it, a COTP Sister!! proclaimed just last week that one of the things the next church should be warned about is that I am often an "emotional mess!" She is likely correct.
This next week I travel to Asbury Hills Camp and Retreat Center to spend time with Bishop Holston, Board of Ordained Ministry members, mentors, and other Ordinands. We will receive instructions regarding our appearance before the other clergy voting to accept us (or not!) as Elders and Deacons in full connection on June 4. We will also get details on where to sit, what to wear, and how to respond as Bishop Holston and Bishop Sandra Steiner Ball (Resident Bishop, West Virginia Annual Conference) lay hands on us the evening of June 4 and charge us to take "all authority" to proclaim the Gospel.
But during this time in the mountains, among the beauty of God's creation, I will take a little time to simply grieve well. To acknowledge how special you have all been to Kathy and me and how I will really, really miss you. I will recall all the many good things we have accomplished together to the glory of God. I will lament all my horrible mistakes and how I too often unintentionally insulted or ignored you. I will remember all the silly fun and laughter we've shared - talent shows, VBS "productions," and so much banter in the kitchen - and will be sad those opportunities are ending. To be open, there no doubt will be a few tears. So, I will remember one of my favorite quotes attributed to C.S. Lewis — "the tears now are a testimony to the love then." And then I will give God thanks for so many blessings God has provided to us through you!
I'm not saying my grieving will all be done when I return; I am, after all, at times an "emotional mess!" But I will return and continue to do what we all need to do to finish well — to prepare fertile ground for Shannon to work, to say "I'm sorry" and "Thank you" to one another, and to know that God will always and everywhere be with us.
Humbled and so honored to be your Sheepdog and to serve the Lord Shepherd with you.
Pete +
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