Step 3: “Made a Decision to Turn Our Will and Our Lives over to the Care of God as We Understood Him”

At CORE, we take our responsibility to clients seriously. We believe, as did AA co-founder Bill Wilson, that our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of the 12 Step recovery program. Step 3 of this program, in which we decide to make God the director of our lives, has been described as the “keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.” Big Book, p. 62. Such freedom from drugs and alcohol is a primary aim of our program.  

To appreciate the meaning of this step, we do well to consider the personal circumstances of the men who drafted and published it. All were alcoholics, of course. For each, their drinking careers had brought them to a singular moment of personal crisis. Their financial, personal, and people resources had been totally spent. They were at the jumping-off place, facing insanity and death, with no way out. It is crucial that we understand this, because unless we put ourselves in their shoes and feel the gravity of their dilemmas, we might miss what Step 3 is all about.  

Normies, who happily never have battled addiction, can’t be faulted for not fully appreciating this situation. Nonetheless, let the Reader try to imagine a group of men who were at the end of the line. No matter how hard they tried or wanted, they could not stop drinking. Their homes, jobs, and careers were gone. For many, their wives, families, and friends had given up hope and abandoned them. To survive they resorted to foraging, stealing, or panhandling. Not surprisingly, many were homeless, sleeping outside or in whatever shelter could be found. Often they were found in hospitals, prisons, and sanitariums. To the last man, they were hopeless drunks, and they knew it.  

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Dallas Conaway: Putting the Shovel Down

Surveying our lives is best done when we've just accomplished a major goal. We've proverbially climbed the highest summit and feel like we’re valued and satisfied, and sometimes unstoppable. Standing at the top, we look around for new vistas to conquer.

Meet Dallas Conaway! By all appearances, Dallas should be on top of a mountain and feeling pretty good right now. Not only did he and his beautiful wife just have a new baby to add to their growing family, but Dallas recently became CORE's intake coordinator for the men at our Branson Recovery Center. On top of this, he also teaches our Common Solution Recovery (CSR) classes and manages one of our intake houses. Dallas' future looks brighter today than ever because he has worked the 12 Step program and recovered.

We at CORE are so happy for Dallas, but when we recently spoke to him for this article, he reminded us that, only two years ago, things didn't look so rosy. He was taking stock alright of his life, but he didn't like what he saw. At 27 years old, his vantage point was more of a deep pit than a brightly lit summit. Dallas said, "Rock bottom was where I put the shovel down." Indeed. And his return to health is one of the most exciting success stories in recent memory. We are very proud of him!

Dallas got off on the wrong foot at an early age. He grew up in the Bay Area of California surrounded by addicts and alcoholics. "My dad was [an addict], and all of my friends' dads were too," he says, "these were the people I respected and admired, and that's what they were doing." So, at the age of 11, Dallas himself began using. Behavioral issues followed, and he got bounced back and forth between parents until finally landing with his aunt and uncle in Hollister, Missouri. Dallas was in his teens by now, and his aunt and uncle gave him a normal life and provided for him well. His uncle even taught him how to lay flooring, at which Dallas excelled to the point of becoming his own subcontractor.  

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