“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”

— Dr. Brené Brown

Anne Johnson (she/her) - Assertive Engagement Data, Evaluation & Research Intern

Originally from Omaha, Nebraska, Anne is a doctoral candidate in Sociology at Portland State University. Her qualitative research focuses on improving patient experiences with commonly feared medical procedures. This summer she is thrilled to be the Assertive Engagement Data, Research & Evaluation Intern with the Department of County Human Services. In her free time, Anne loves to read, compete in triathlons, watch Husker football, and write parody pop songs about her pets with her wife. 

Campbell Small (she/her) - Assertive Engagement Communications Intern

In this role I will be working on a variety of projects including: the newsletter, assisting in the potential launch of social media accounts, and in the creation of the AE Video Trainings.

I am originally from Albuquerque, New Mexico, the land of green chili, the place where Breaking Bad was filmed, and the location of the International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta. I moved to McMinnville, Oregon to attend Linfield University where I am currently pursuing a BA in Political Science and Public Health. At Linfield, I have held a variety of leadership roles including being: the Executive Director of the Political Science Work Study Team, and a Resident Assistant. Through holding these positions I have developed the skills to connect individuals with resources, cultivate communications, and create educational opportunities for others. I am incredibly excited to be a part of the AE team as I believe that it will be the perfect place for me to utilize and improve my skill set.

What is Empathy? What is Judgment? How are they connected?

Empathy is the art of listening, holding space, emotionally connecting and communicating without judging what is being said, or the person saying it. Easier said than done, right? We all tend to judge - or at least have preferences about things. How are these preferences shaped by our culture/upbringing/prejudices? 

Prejudice has its origins as “an adaptive response to protect our prehistoric ancestors from danger” - The authors of a 2005 study on prejudice note that what began as a natural survival tool evolved into prejudice, “because evolved psychological tendencies are imperfectly attuned to the existence of dangers, people may react negatively to groups and their members even when they actually pose no realistic threat.”

How can we have preferences without being judgmental, and learn tools to be more empathetic when someone is sharing their pain, without judging them for it?

These are skills, and we can develop these skills to be better listeners who are more empathetic and less judgmental. This can make us better coworkers at work and in our personal lives, because people often just need to feel heard.

According to the Crisis Prevention Institute, empathy helps professionals better understand the problems their clients face, thus improving their ability to problem solve. When our righting reflex is in balance, we accept that we don't need to have the solutions. Using empathy is helpful because it allows us to serve as soundboards for the person struggling. This may leave them with more clarity surrounding the problem, and, more importantly, with the feeling of being seen and heard. 

In the article Learning How to Empathize Rather Than Judge, the authors describe three steps to keep in mind when listening, in order to build empathy:

1. Acknowledge their pain.
2. Show gratitude that they shared. 
3. Be encouraging, don’t try to “fix it.”

We need to be able to start recognizing for ourselves when judgment comes up, where that is coming from (our own biases, societally-imposed biases). This is all part of the path of unlearning biases, and relearning new behaviors and ways of thinking, feeling and responding.

There are social indicators that empathy is actively in decline and that the decrease in empathy throughout American society ramped up in recent years. Sara Konrath, an associate professor of philanthropic studies at Indiana University and director of the interdisciplinary program on Empathy and Altruism Research, points to a telling study that spanned between 1979-2009 as a shifting point. Since then, the decline has gained notable speed. There are multiple factors that contribute to a culture’s decrease in empathy, and many of them compound on each other. 

Increasing natural disasters from climate change, work burnout, political battles that impact our personal lives, wide economic disparities, physical and mental health issues, racism, ableism, gender, and queerphobia. Many are overwhelmed by all the daily obligations, traumatized by life events and grasping to find enough energy to get through each day.

The exhaustion this brings into our lives doesn't leave much in reserve to fully connect with others in meaningful ways.

The ability to relate, care for and meet others where they are in the moment is a limited resource. When there is not enough space to personally recover from the demands of daily life, empathy fatigue can set in. According to psychologist Susan Albers, empathy fatigue is an emotional and physical exhaustion that happens from caring for people day, after day, after day. “Over time, we start to see people experiencing a sense of numbness and distancing or difficulty continuing to care." In the past, empathy fatigue was labeled the cost of care and was seen as primarily an issue for healthcare professions. Empathy fatigue can resemble vicarious trauma.

In the last several years, people are exposed to a lot more heartbreaking news of what is happening throughout the world. The pandemic was a global trauma. The increases in climate disasters in the forms of floods, wildfires, food shortages, and toxic politics have increased our collective traumas. It can feel exhausting, overwhelming and challenging to stay empathetic. 

Although it may feel like empathy is disappearing, what is happening is a shifting perspective based on the demands of modern life. More and more, empathy is applied to those considered a part of one’s in-group instead of towards humanity in general. If someone isn’t seen as within one’s in-group, they are increasingly viewed as one's adversary. People with differing values and beliefs are more likely to be vilified than in the past. Many forget or actively decide to no longer see the other person's humanity when there are disagreements, due to the assumption that the other person does not hold good intent. More people see themselves as fully actualized individuals with complex thoughts and feelings that are well thought out, and those that don’t hold the same worldview as dangerous, destructive and having ill intent. This often isn’t true. 

Often people think the opposite of empathy is judgment and assume that an increase in judgmental behavior is the main reason empathy is in decline. The issue is more complex. There is a stronger correlation between a rise in narcissism and self-pity. This is tied to a sense of competition in seeing oneself as more deserving of empathy compared to others. There is a rise in individualism which devalues the needs of the larger community. People are focusing on their own needs and desires as far more important than the needs of those around them. 

Another factor, according to cognitive scientist Fritz Breithaupt, is that the belief in the Just World hypothesis has increased in the last several years. This cognitive bias maintains that people get what they deserve. According to this world view, if someone loses their housing it is their fault. If someone is punched by another person, they did something to deserve it. Part of what is missing from this belief is an understanding of the complexity of factors that are part of situations where a person might not have any full agency over their circumstances. There is the assumption that one understands what is going on while lacking important context which leads to inaccurate conclusions about another person's circumstances. 

So, it isn’t that others don’t experience empathy, it is that they now apply selective empathy. There is increasing pressure in western societies to pick a side on just about every issue. People have strong opinions and strong feelings about what they believe. It is harder to find people who are open to hearing and understanding others' perspectives with genuine interest. Instead people have dug in hard, which has led to more polarized values and opinions. There is a lot of social pressure to pick a side on every single issue. The demands and pressures are viewable on social media and the news. Both serve as places to witness the harshest declines in empathy. Dr. Konrath points out, it is important to recognize that the decline was in effect before social media existed. What social media has done is make it more apparent to a wider audience. Konrath’s work has found another interesting connection in social media and empathy. Compassionate people spend less time on social media whereas people who display narcissistic behaviors gravitate towards social media. People who have narcissistic tendencies and those who have difficulty processing their emotions use social media more than those who are in touch with their feelings. In addition, people who are empathetic and people with narcissistic tendencies use social media differently from each other. Empathetic people will use it to connect with others in meaningful and compassionate ways. Konrath also notes that the number of people who self-identify as narcissistic has increased in recent years. 

Breithaupt points to cultural factors as having an impact on empathy. Some societies and communities value empathy more than others. At this time, the Western world places a higher value on individualism, tribalism, and polarization. Individualistic countries have lower empathy while countries more accepting of emotions are higher in empathy. Countries that are higher in empathy have happier citizens who experience more well-being. 

As understanding grows about the ways the application of empathy has changed, it is important to remember that empathy is a learnable skill and can be restored. The reduction of empathy is a defense mechanism that gets activated for self protection, and is a signal that it’s time to step into self-care mode. Dr. Albers talks of an ABC model. "We need to work on our Awareness, our Balance of everything going on and our Connection with others." With awareness, be honest about how you're feeling in the moment and give yourself some compassion. Recognize the balance between work, personal life obligations, scrolling through social media and time spent focused on the bad news in the world. How is it balancing out with time spent on self-care? Having good and enjoyable connective experiences with others can go a long way in healing empathy fatigue. 

Empathy & the Arts

Polaris, 1987

Martin Wong

Acrylic on canvas

THE P.D. MCMILLAN MEMORIAL FUND 2017.35

The Minneapolis Institute of Art (MIA) decided to invest in fostering empathy through art when it created its Center for Empathy and the Visual Arts. If we can expand our empathy for others by connecting to our common humanity, then what better place to start than a museum which houses hundreds, if not thousands, stories of humanity across centuries? The program unites scholars, researchers, artists, and museum staff to leverage the power of art to help people understand each other better.

Have a story or thoughts to share? Email us: aeinfo@multco.us!

July Poll

How do you most frequently show empathy to others?

June Poll Results!

Thank you to everyone who responded with why you show your resistance!

We have a tie! Most people responded that they resist to Change old patterns and break toxic cycles (30.8%) and Because we deserve a better future (30.8%). Both are great reasons to resist! Though the fight can be difficult, the effort is worth it.

We also heard folks are resisting to:

Break patterns of oppression (15.4%)

Set new examples for future generations (7.7%)

Because there's power in fighting forms of oppression (7.7%)

Because there's joy in resistance (3.8%)

And to Heal (3.8%)

Remember you are not alone in your resistance! There is a large community out here resisting in different ways and for different reasons. Connect with and support others who are in the fight with you.



Next Virtual Training in October



• Day 1 Tuesday, October 24th, 9am - 3pm
• Day 2 Thursday, October 26th, 9am - 3pm
• Day 3 Tuesday, October 31st, 9am - 3pm 
• Day 4 Thursday, November 2nd, 9am - 3pm



Our video modules are now in the editing process and we are developing the skills practice sessions.

Stay tuned to this newsletter for video release information!

Upcoming Community of Ongoing Practice Sessions

July 27

Resistance

2:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m.

In person- RSVP Here



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What is a Community of Ongoing Practice?

A group of people who share a common interest and interact often to learn from each other and advance their work. 

https://www.multco.us/assertive-engagement