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Benefits of the Batman Effect
The Batman Effect allows you to self-distance from a problem or situation and to see it and think of it from different angles. It also allows you to be able to handle the problem or situation with less emotion.
This is great news for therapeutic parents! Since a main push-away behaviour for our kiddos is taking control of parents' emotions, this technique can help you to remain the strong, loving leader your child needs when faced with these behaviours.
This technique also lets you disengage emotionally from the problem and be able to access your logic and reasoning to figure out effective and therapeutic connection, consequences, and brain healing.
Using this technique therapeutically
To use the Batman Effect therapeutically, there must be a balance between the disengaged "batman mode" and the engaged "parent mode."
Even though we self-distance with "batman mode" to get a better perspective and feel less emotion, we have to connect with the child, and disengage from the behaviour. Think of a Batman who also gives hugs.
Choosing & building your character
Batman is not your only character option. Choose a character that you connect with, is a family favourite, or one that has characteristics that you admire.
Avoid characters that have characteristics you don't want to model to you child - such as Hulk's anger, Deadpool's sarcasm, the Joker's psychotic behaviour, etc.
Your "batman mode" character also doesn't have to be a classic superhero. You can choose you favourite book character (the Mad Hatter, anyone?), cartoon, or Disney character.
Adding fun to daily life
Here's the fun part - dress up as your character! Browse Amazon, your local costume store, or your arts and craft cabinet and DIY-it. Being able to put on a costume can help you to get into "batman mode" which helps you to access more solutions and less emotion. This is also the part that can add fun to your day!
Being in your character mode can not only help with all of the great things we've listed above, but it can also relieve the tension in the home with some fun and silliness.
The costume helps with the silliness and character development, so does a character voice or accent. try some of these ideas:
- Hats
- Cape
- Wig and/or mustache
- footwear
- Masks (make sure your eyes are clearly visible for your child to see)
- Character accent
- Deep or high voice
- Character walk and/or stance
Using the Batman Effect
The next time your child uses a push away behaviour and you feel yourself getting frustrated or feel unable to access therapeutic solutions to the situation, get into character mode. Excuse yourself for a minute or two and get your costume on or change your mannerisms into those of your character. Once you're in "batman mode" come back to your child and handle the problem as your character.
Always remember to connect with the child and disengage from the behaviour, and always add a hug at the end of the interaction!
The most important thing is to have fun and add silliness to stressful interactions with your child.
Foster attachment and connection and give yourself space to handle parenting therapeutically.
P.S. We would love to know what character you choose for your Batman Effect - reply to this email and let us know!
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