12 Steps — Power and Potential | |
I have referenced the 12 steps as a spiritual path for many years and in many approaches. I had REAL trouble with the steps in my early approaches, including I was extremely UNWILLING to speak the words “I am powerless against the addiction.” I also had to keep my mind open to the full range of addictive behaviors including alcohol, smoking, drugs, eating, shopping, exercising, and the less conscious ones. For example, my addictive behaviors include, fixing, rescuing, advising, coaching, counseling, teaching, manipulating, controlling, easing their suffering, miracle-making, and fantasy-based hoping. AND AND AND beyond these. | |
So, where will I go for resources? Sadly, for those of us who like to think we’ve come up with something new and innovative that must be shared right this second, there is the internet — where it’s already been thought of and shared. One of my friends said this week in referencing something, “I know it is true because it came to me before the internet.” | |
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"My goal is to make “IT” all okay."
— Martha Creek
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I facilitated a three-day intensive workshop at the end of last month for some of the folks in our Immersion and Extraordinary Leaders groups. (Email me directly at marthacreek@gmail.com if you want more details about the next entry for these programs starting in October 2024.) I normally offer several helpful resources to the participants based on my varied and direct experiences. One of the resources was the value of the 12 step program APPLICATION and PRACTICE. I have purposely capitalized these to emphasize the difference between theoretical espousing these and living from them. I recognize sobriety as a “direction to go in,” not necessarily an “I’ve done it” attitude. I am aware that interaction to interaction, relationship to relationship, and circumstance to circumstance calls for my interrupting the patterns of the trauma responses that put the reactivity in place in the first place. I am also aware that with any “small” glimmer of SELF, PRESENCE can create a potential field for an entirely new way of being. | |
It occurred to me, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) enthusiast, (NOT REALLY ACCURATE — more accurately I could say, an IFS devotee), to try replacing “God” with “Self,” and “I” with “parts.” And I found that it works beautifully in aligning with the 12 steps principles. | |
As does a Buddhist rendering of the 12 steps, which you can find here. | So I searched for “IFS 12 steps” and, of course, it’s been done. Open this month's gift (below) for an example of this. |
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What I like about removing God and inserting Self is that it reframes recovery as something any of us, no matter our level of agnosticism, can do, right now. It does not require a belief in any kind of “higher power,” but simply the awareness, easily experienced through mindful meditation, of the inner Self, which we can tap into whenever we are quiet, calm, and focused. | |
You can read the following thinking “addicted parts” or “codependent parts.” (The model also works with any internal struggle — “anxious parts,” “self-hating parts,” etc.) | |
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IFS-Based 12-Step Completely Secular Recovery
Credit to Rebecca Shamess (Adapted by Martha)
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We…
- admitted we were powerless over our extreme, traumatized, hurting parts — our craving or addicted parts, our need to control others part — and our inner lives had become unmanageable at times.
- came to believe that our unblended Self (our Christ/Buddha nature, our universal consciousness, our wise mind) could restore our peace of mind in any situation, at any time.
- made a decision to turn our life over to the care of the compassionate, clear, calm and centered Self, with permission and cooperation from our extreme parts.
- made a non-blaming, non-shaming inventory of our reactive parts, lovingly witnessing and calming their fears and anxieties.
- admitted to Self and to a compassionate other the exact nature of our extreme and vulnerable parts’ unhelpful, stuck behaviors.
- were entirely ready to introduce our reactive parts to our Self as the primary caregiver of our inner family system.
- worked (perhaps with our therapists) to unburden all these parts and to allow them new, more productive roles in our inner system.
- identified those we hurt when our extreme parts were triggered, and cultivated a willingness to make amends, statements of regrets, or apologies.
- made direct, Self-led amends to our important other relationships, except when to do so would cause further harm.
- continued to identify and accept our triggered parts as they arose, and acknowledged this work with important others, who can hold space with us.
- sought through mindfulness, meditation, and sometimes therapy to awaken our awareness of and access to Self-led energy and functionality.
- introduce mindful, Self-led awareness and compassion practices to others when asked, and practice these principles in all our affairs.
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Whatever the ways and means you utilize to “return home” to your innocent, pure, whole, divine self — Godspeed. If any part of you is ready for some support, uplift, tools, or new insights, get in touch with me, a coach, counselor, or therapist, or a spiritual direction program, or whatever you have the courage to consider. | |
Deepest love and appreciation for ALL of you. All of me. Learning, Loving, Living. We are. | |
Martha Creek
502-905-0783
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My April 2024 Special Gift for You!
And here is my special gift to you this month. Click on the box to open your gift.
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...and there's more!
(Special Gifts for You)
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Martha’s Vineyard
Poem of the Month
In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver
Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars
of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,
the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
Reading
The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek, Kim Michele Richardson
Inspiration of pioneer women living on purpose through the challenges of rural Kentucky life, culture, paradigms, and physical limits.
The Book Woman’s Daughter, Kim Michele Richardson
The Sequel to Book Woman, the life of the now adult child uplifting her mother’s Book Woman ministry and courageously defining herself in challenging the inertia of traditions and the past.
Watching: Movies
Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams and Matt Damon
I had seen this before and was deeply impacted by it. I was clearly and directly guided to re-watch it. So many learnings in the movie, emotional dynamics, relational dynamics, trauma responses, deep abiding love, and deep abiding loss. The therapist's courageous approaches and the wholehearted desire to help. Most poignant, is the breakthrough scene when Damon realizes, “It’s not my fault.”
My Sister’s Keeper
Story of a young girl who was “born from a lab dish” to provide the needed cells and blood support for her dying older sister. At age 11 she gets an attorney to represent her to get her medically emancipated from her parents. Deep hidden meanings (some most powerfully for me), the power of denial, and the depth of using it to cope.
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A new video every day in 2024
The Science of Mind, A Philosophy, A Way of Life, A Way of Being Reflections/Insights offered daily to your email inbox when you “Like” and “Subscribe” to the YouTube Channel. (Click on the image below.)
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When you purchase 10 or more copies of Presence & Potential from Amazon for your office, family, church or groups, I will host a one-hour “Meet the Author” session at no cost.
To order from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Rrx8BQ
Email me at marthacreek@gmail.com with any questions. (More information on the book further down...)
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Autographed copies of "Presence & Potential" are available through my online store at https://uppa-creek-art.myshopify.com/collections/books
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Some of you may have noticed the recent addition of video Shorts to my YouTube Channel. We’re excited to bring these messages from Martha to all of humanity. Check them out at YouTube.com/@marthacreek. They’re available on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram, and wherever else we're inspired to post. More soon, and be sure to enjoy, like, and subscribe, and let us (and your friends) know what you think!
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Please consider a donation to continue the teachings of Martha Creek. Many of the classes and workshops are offered by donations only, with suggested donations amounts included in the class or workshop description. We welcome your support.
Use the convenient QR code or the PayPal button below for all donations.
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or visit PayPal.Me/marthacreek if you want to see these teachings and principles reach the world.
You do not need a Paypal account to make a donation. You can use your debit or credit via PayPal if you don't have a Paypal account. If you choose to send a check, please send it payable to Martha Creek and send it to PO Box 1081, Louisville KY 40201.
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