Information and Resources
How to Get Your Kids to Open Up About School
Most parents know that asking a child “How was school today?” is a conversational dead-end. From kindergarten to high school, this question is unlikely to prompt more than a monosyllabic response like “fine,” “good,” or “okay”, followed by a shrug and total silence. The trick to getting kids to open up about school is asking creative, open-ended questions tailored to their age group.
Tips for Communicating with Children Successfully
- Avoid yes or no questions. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster! Instead, ask open-ended questions that can help trigger a sustainable conversation.
- Memorize their class schedule. If you know what your child is working on each day in school, you can ask directly about their experiences in every class.
- Model open communication. Conversation is a two-way street. If you don’t chat openly about your own experiences every day, your kid probably won’t either. Be forthcoming about your own daily activities, including your work, interests, successes, challenges, and friends.
- Schedule regular times to talk. As kids become more independent, it’s increasingly important to carve out times during the week for dialogues. Having regularly scheduled family dinners, game nights or other specific times to reconnect—where cellphones and laptops stay out of sight—is one way to stay connected and give kids a routine they can rely on.
- Be resourceful. If your child brings home an art project or you find them reading a book or an article online, ask about it! Never miss these easy opportunities to foster meaningful connections.
Questions to Ask Middle Schoolers
Who do you eat lunch with?
What did you do during recess today?
What made you laugh the hardest today?
What’s the nicest thing you saw someone do?
Did you feel mad or sad today? What made you feel that way?
What did you learn today that you didn’t know before?
What was the coolest or weirdest thing you learned today?
If your teacher called me to talk about you, what do you think they would say?
If you were the teacher, how would you run class differently?
What are the biggest changes between your classes this year and last year?
Did any of your classmates need help today? What happened?
Which classes do you feel the most motivated in? How about the least?
~ Adapted from Boys & Girls Clubs of America Parent Resources, 2018
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