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A life stage that is often neglected in discussions about mental health is “emerging adulthood,” or the period between high school and your 30s. This time can be exciting but can also present many challenges, as it is characterized by lots of changes. Transitioning from a school environment to the “real world,” trying to find a job, establishing new friendships or romantic relationships, and navigating shifting family dynamics can all be stressful and can contribute to or overlap with mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression. If you’re an emerging adult and feeling overwhelmed, here are some tips for coping.
1. Avoid The “Compare and Despair” Trap
A major source of distress can come from comparing yourself to others in your age range who you perceive as doing “better” or being “further ahead” than you are. If you feel a pang of anxiety or self-judgment when you hear that someone else earned their graduate degree, got engaged, received a promotion, et cetera, ask yourself “What is this bringing up for me?” It may be that seeing others’ milestones makes you feel insufficient about your own. If this is the case, first remind yourself that you don’t know everything about the other person’s life, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. This is particularly true if your main source of information about the person is social media, which we all know is skewed (and I do recommend limiting—or eliminating—social media use if it consistently triggers the “comparison game” for you). It can also be helpful to keep a running list of things that are going well in your life so you can reflect on your own “wins” when you need a reminder.
2. Build Mastery
We all need things in our lives that make us feel capable and competent- things that give us a sense of mastery. If you’re feeling stagnant or run down, think about one thing you could do differently to give you a sense of achievement or control. If you’re missing the gratification that you used to get from learning new things in school, try signing up for a class. If you’ve moved back home with your parents and lack agency in your living space, set an intention to make your bed every morning. If you’re having difficulty maintaining a routine while job searching, set one small goal that will give you a sense of structure, like being out of bed and fully dressed by the same time each day. Creating small opportunities for mastery is a simple but powerful way to enhance well-being.
3. Normalize Your Experience
If you’re struggling during this period, you might feel isolated or depressed. But you are not the only person your age having a hard time. Remind yourself that it’s completely normal to struggle with “growing pains” as you navigate the ups and downs of emerging adulthood. It can be helpful to engage in self-talk such as “It’s okay to not have everything figured out” or “Just because I feel alone, doesn’t mean I am alone.” It can also be helpful to talk to friends or others in your age range who may be going through the same thing. Finally, speaking to a therapist can help you cope with your unique stressors and thrive during this developmental period. Emerging adulthood may be a challenge, but you don’t have to navigate it alone!
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