Vol V, No 4 - April 18, 2023
FROM THE CREATIVE EDITOR
As I write this it's cold and windy and damp, the very definition of blustery, the morning's surprise snow not so much melted as blown away. Forty-eight hours ago it was 40 degrees warmer and sunny, the perfect spring day. This bungee cord snap back into winter is not unexpected, just unwelcome and unpleasant.

The days march along though, and before we know it it'll be summer for real. The warming days will relax into a slower pace and the hammock will beg for our butts, books, and beverages. Some kids will want and need more, and that's where our writers come in. This month Cara Maclean and Karen T. Smith, both veteran moms, share their best summer activity tips. I'm sure you'll find something you can use or adapt for your own family.

Have a wonderful month everyone, and remember that GHF has resources galore. We're here for you.
Jen Merrill is a writer, musician, teacher, ed-tech marketing advisor, and gifted-family advocate. The mom of two boys, she homeschooled her twice-exceptional teen through high school while happily sending his younger brother off to his high school every morning. Those days now in the past, she is settling into the somewhat quieter life of an empty-nester. Her book, If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?, struck a nerve with families; her second book, on the needs of gifted parents and self-care, will be finished shortly before the heat death of the universe. In addition to writing on her longtime blog, Laughing at Chaos, Jen has presented at SENG, NAGC, and WCGTC.

Jen brings both her acquired wisdom and her experience as a teacher and mentor to her work in the service of parents, teaching them techniques and mentoring them into their own versions of success. Her goal is to support parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids, because they are the ones doing the heavy lifting and are too often ignored, patronized, and discredited. It is her hope that her sons never have to deal with these issues when they raise their own likely gifted children.
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Summer Activities for G/2e Kids
Summer Activities

by Cara Maclean

The snow is melting and blossoms burst with new life. Spring is finally giving us the sunshine and warmth we crave. So, of course, it’s time to talk about SUMMER!

In the first few years of motherhood, I didn’t realize summer activities needed to be scheduled so far in advance. Like seeing Halloween costumes in Costco mid-August, it’s something that makes me mildly uncomfortable every year. Can’t we simply enjoy the season of life that we’re in? Can’t I relish the feeling that I’m ahead of the game a little bit? ‘Ha ha, nope,’ echoes through the store. You have to grab that Captain America costume, even though they’ll change their mind a thousand times before Halloween. (Even though our kids would rather be something like a dill pickle or a Faraday cage, you’ve got to have a plan B.)

While I don’t want to alarm you, summer is coming, and it is, unfortunately, time to think about what you’ll do with your precious children. Keep in mind that much research states that we do too much for our children and they need more opportunities to fail and/or figure things out themselves. It can actually hurt both children and parents when lives are managed too exquisitely. Nonetheless, I’d like to offer some suggestions. I’ll try to segment by age as much as possible, but I will start with the most important age.

Yours.

You know, dear parent of the intense and curious, that no matter how young or old you might be, you probably could use some more relaxing experiences. Fewer camping trips where you have to cook and clean in a less convenient location and more gazing out on the ocean waves from a hot tub full of friends. Ok, maybe not full. A friend. One. Guaranteed you have one friend who also needs a break. So, a thought for you to get started:

Plan some time away by yourself, with friends, or simply outside the immediate grasp of your children. It doesn’t have to be anything special, but you need time to yourself. It's ok if you sleep the whole time. It’s also ok if you worry about your kids during that time. It’s also ok if you do not feel any twinge of guilt whatsoever. You still love your children even if they’re not attached to you 24/7.

I could give you more to-do’s, but likely know what ‘needs’ to happen and you’re doing your best already. A mini-break where you must answer to no one will buoy sinking energy and remind you that you’re amazing. (Because you are.) Plus, it will connect you back to other people who love and care about you and give your partner (or other lovely person in your life) time to bond with your children.

For the children, let me give you some context for my recommendations. My two boys are now teenagers. When they were younger, they did all the things. They went to all the camps. Some were fantastic, some not. But they were enriched to the hilt. Now our collective world has shifted toward the academic grind, AP classes, and all the things they’re supposed to be doing to get into university.

When I think about the summer, I want them to get lost in the wilderness. Not literally lost, of course, but I want them to connect with the world around them again. Outside of classes, outside of Minecraft and video games, outside their phone screen, and outside their rooms. Breathing fresh air, noticing how the sunlight and air feel on their skin, and remembering who they are without the YouTube recommendations.

There is always a tug toward the things that keep them distracted and disconnected from both nature and life as it naturally flows. I’m betting your children are in a similar place. If they’re not, it’s likely in the mail as this is the challenge of their generation: constant distraction and connection to screens. (I mean, unless we’re talking about the climate crisis. That’s also a challenge, but that’s a different article.)

What do I think our kids need most this summer?
● Nature
● Self expression
● Creative messes (preferably outside)
● Connection with others
● A great relationship with their own mind

Just to be sure I was on target, I asked ChatGPT what it thought would be great activities for gifted children, segmented by age. All of these were on the list. Well, perhaps not creative messes specifically. It did suggest creating a home science lab to do experiments, so that’s a version of the same thing, right? Explosions can be messy.

More importantly though, these things came up when I asked it to filter according to recent mental health research. Further, I noticed these activities were not segmented by age, which makes me feel like the AI knows that we all need these elements in our lives, not only children. These are the things that make us human after all.

That said, now is the time to sign up for camps and activities. If you go that route by desire or necessity, I’m sure you’ll pick great ones. Here’s what the AI thinks would be great options:

For younger children (5-10), science experiments in your freshly designed home lab, creative art projects, coding, and outdoor exploration.

For the tweens (11-15), robotics, debate and public speaking, creative writing, and film production. These sound like jobs, so I’ll mention the obvious: Please make sure you’ve got child buy-in here.

For the adults (16+), entrepreneurship, creative projects, volunteer and service work, and professional development. Again, these seem like potential jobs.

Even AI gets the sense that humans must focus on beefing up their resume past the age of 10. I realize that work can be (and hopefully is) fulfilling, but I also don’t want us all to lose sight of what makes living beautiful. It’s an ever evolving, fluid balance:

Challenge the mind and body through curiosity, wonder, and things that look good on paper.

Try not to worry if each camp will be a great fit or the perfect environment for your child. There’s no way you can really know, so go with your gut and trust that your child will learn something and have fun. There are SO many choices. Get your child’s input; see what they’re drawn to. Try an activity they don’t have any experience with, if they’re willing, but please resist the urge to schedule every minute unless you must due to work constraints.

Remember, our kids are observers, and they soak up a lot more than we may realize. They are sensitive to their surroundings and could need more of a break from the go-go-go than they let on. Just like you.



Cara Maclean is a coach, educator, and yoga instructor who appreciates the intensity of gifted children even more now that her two children are older.

She focuses on supporting moms and parents in their journey to guide their families and create healthy, joyful lives where everyone can thrive.

She lives in the Seattle area with her husband, two teen boys, and dog Simon.
The Summer of Awesome

by Karen T. Smith

I grew up in the kind of unremarkable American suburban idyll that’s often remarked upon wistfully in books about the good old days. I remember how the neighborhood kids became my band of thieves each summer. We were a few years apart in school and barely acknowledged each other there. But in the summer? We’d create adventures and solve mysteries and see how many crab apples we could throw into old Mister Halford’s yard until he rounded the side yard and threatened us with mortal harm if we didn’t stop. We’d run between the back yards picking our ways around the fences where the mean dogs lived and collapse in a heap in the fort we made in the bushes that separated two of our yards.
 
In my adulthood with my own kids I had pictured some similar kind of idyll in a suburban paradise. We moved to the suburbs from the city when I was greatly pregnant with the youngest.
 
What I hadn’t anticipated was just how much times had changed since my childhood. And just how different it would be, parenting two highly gifted children.
 
Sure, we had the occasional opportunistic friendship with neighbor kids, but occasional is doing a lot of work in that sentence. There were scheduled playdates with friends from the private school my kids attended, but mostly it was quiet. Quiet is good, but it meant I had to be inventive with summer activities to prevent too much whining and to make space for my own freelance work in and around the few camps or science programs that were a good fit for our family.
 
So in the spring of the year my kids were finishing 7th and 5th grades I determined it was time for a Summer of Awesome. I got their help designing it. This is what we did.
 
(Credit note: I’m sure I first saw this idea on Pinterest somewhere, but my version was much more scaled down, less Insta-Pinterest-worthy, and the details of where I saw it first are lost to the ages.)
 
We brainstormed together what kinds of things we wanted to do this summer, for our summer of awesome. The kids came up with *many* ice cream shops we needed to visit. For each ice cream shop, I made sure we also included a forest preserve or park or some kind of physical activity. We listed big deal things like a trip to the city to the art museum, and also small deal things like hunting for the perfect walking stick in our backyard.
 
We wrote each of these ideas on a slip of paper and stuck all the slips into an old ceramic jug. Using colored paper, Popsicle sticks, or artificial flowers would be another way to achieve the same.

On summer mornings after breakfast was cleaned up, we’d pick a slip and see if it was a good fit for the day. A trip to the local pool isn’t much fun on a rainy day, so we’d set that aside and pick again if needed. Make brownies is a perfect summer activity as it turns out, and a great way to give kids a chance to practice skills like measuring, pouring, mixing, and problem solving when things don’t go perfectly or you’re a little short on an ingredient.
 
Even though some of the items on our list were already part of our summer routines, like going to the library, our slip for library trips would include a specific twist like going to the library and searching for books about birds in our area, then checking off as many as we can while picnicking in the back yard for lunch.
 
Some suggestions as you try out this activity:
  • Put Pinterest down. Seriously, put down the Pinterest app. We are exhausting ourselves trying to keep up with the Instagram Joneses. Just keep this simple. I promise, it will still be memorable.
  • Get the kids involved! It’s fun to include some surprises, but you’ll get more out of the activity list if the kids help to generate it. Their participation makes them feel more invested in the activities, and they can surprise you. You’ll get fewer complaints about an activity when the trip to the certain park was suggested by the youngest, and when everyone has had a chance to contribute ideas to the pile.
  • Remember basic brainstorming etiquette – any idea can go up onto the brainstormed list. You can curate as you turn the brainstormed output into specific summer activities.
  • A way to keep everyone engaged on brainstorming is to make it a fun activity itself. Write the ideas on individual sticky notes and stick on the wall. Get window-safe markers and use a window or patio door as a canvas for ideas.
  • This is a great time to teach and support good internet research skills. When you add the item “visit the butterfly garden” to your activities list, one of the kids can research the days it’s open, the cost of entry, the address. Include all of that on the list to make it easy to know at a glance if that activity is a good fit for the day when it’s pulled from the jug. Trust me when I tell you the disappointment on the faces of a couple of kids with butterfly identification guides in hand at the closed butterfly garden is something to try to avoid if at all possible. A trip to the ice cream store nearest helped us save that day but it was a close call for a moment.
  • Parcel out tasks to the kids as you engage with the summer activities. Have them search for recipes to make with the farmer’s market haul and present 3 options to you. Ask them to find a bird-watching checklist for the local forest preserve. Have them calculate how many cubic feet of sand you’ll need for the new sandbox you’re putting in the backyard.
  • It’s perfectly fine to include some of your own to-dos in the summer activity list. A kid-generated photo album from a recent vacation is a treasure.
  • Be gentle with yourself.
  • Step away from Pinterest.
  • Some summer days ARE for cartoons on the TV, and yes, even video games. One of our more memorable summer activities was for the kids to get out a coloring book while I popped in an old Scooby Doo DVD I found in a clearance bin. Hard to have a bad day when Scooby and pals pile into the mystery machine. Revisit some old classics the kids loved when they were young. My 5th and 7th graders would delightedly watch an episode of Blues Clues or Dora the Explorer that summer because it gave them a chance to remember being little. Everyone tells parents to cherish these days because they go so fast, but I think sometimes we forget to let the kids be little again, too.
 
I hope this gets you started on some ideas for your own Summer of Awesome. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!
Karen Smith’s journey into parenting gifted children began, in a way that will sound hauntingly familiar to plenty, with so many meaningful glances at the spouse over the dinner table when the first of their two was only 3 years old. She realized the importance of advocating for the needs of these hungry hungry hippo minds not long after, when said 3 year old’s genuine question to the camp counselor about “why does the sun burn our skin?” was answered with a pat on the head and not even a vague attempt at mumble mumble UV rays, or melanin in skin, or really anything. Child 2’s rage to learn was so strong it nearly knocked her down. Those kids are in college now and taught her a lot about never getting cocky or thinking you know what you’re doing, and the joys of learning alongside. She writes a daily substack newsletter called The Inside of My Brain, inspired by Jen Merrill’s 3 best things practice. She can be found on twitter @karentsmith and instagram, where she definitely doesn’t know what she’s doing @realkarentsmith.
IDEAL4Gifted
IDEAL4Gifted is an online learning community dedicated to the education of advanced, gifted, high-potential, and twice-exceptional students from all backgrounds and ethnicities, ages 5 to 14. “We understand and respect our students as whole individuals. As gifted education professionals, we understand their social and emotional needs and we intentionally build opportunities for connections into the program. We are aware of the common characteristics that can accompany highly able students such as asynchronous development, perfectionism, and anxiety and we attend directly to those needs, through programming, assignments, and many specific individual accommodations.” Check out their full-school, hybrid and enrichment offerings: https://ideal4gifted.org/
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Made for Math’s Unlocking Dyscalculia Web Series, Episode 3

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Hamlin Robinson School’s HRS Learning Center Speaker Series (archive ep 12/08/22)

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