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Dear Parishioners,
Christmas evokes all kinds of memories — things seen, tasted and felt. I recall the time when flocking the Christmas tree was a popular idea. My dad decided to flock the tree, the wreaths and it seemed like he flocked everything in sight. He reversed the vacuum cleaner motor and used it to flock.
We all have childhood memories of past Christmases — the feel of a new toy or the fur of Santa’s outfit.
During this season, we imagine holding the Christ Child. We feel the presence of the animals. Like Mary, we hold these memories in our hearts - which gives us hope and peace as we enter into the New Year.
We all have memories of Christmas that were not what we hoped them to be.
I recall one year when my Aunt Kay died unexpectedly in her sleep on December 19th, only a few days after celebrating her 91st Birthday on December 13th. She was still living on her own in her home, and, in fact, drove to Saturday mass the evening of her death. The family served the Christmas cookies that she baked at her wake. Naturally, my mother was very sad and refused to eat the baked goodies or even to go into the room where they were set.
My mother found it very hard let go of her grief. The family, too, took awhile before we all could accept that things would never be the same without her, but our memories became more tender and less painful over time.
Unfortunately, for some, the family members are at odds with one another. We all know that differences are bound to arise. Substantive issues are those that might typically be included in an agreement -- such matters of money, dates, time, property, terms and conditions.
Christmas is too often a stressful time to engage in the discussion of reconciliation. However, it might be something to work on in the New Year if it has not been seriously attempted before.
From my experience, it might be best to work on the process of a relationship -- how we deal with each other, independent of all substantive differences. Deal with both sets of problems, people problems and substantive ones, but do not link them. Try to balance emotion with reason.
I found Roger Fisher and Scott Brown’s book “Getting Together, Building Relationships as we Negotiate” as helpful in this area.
May God Bless you and yours in the New Year!
Fr. Mike Meany, Pastor
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