Transformation in Group -
From Skeptical to Joyous
I passed the talking piece around our small, intimate circle. “Who are you?” I asked. The truth and depth that occur in my groups invigorates me. Those who choose to come are women who desire the opportunity for depth of connection, of relationship to self and others, and who want to grow personally. “Right now, I’m less interested in what your job title is, or how many kids you have, or where you live. I’m interested in who you are, really, in this moment.”
As the last of the women took the talking piece, she said, “Skeptical. I am skeptical. I have no idea how on earth a horse can help me.” I sat in gratitude and wonderment at this woman. Honesty is such a gift. I wondered to myself how she came to be sitting in my circle, next to my round pen and my horse, if this was her truth.
“Thank you so much for your honesty,” I said with a genuine smile. “I am so excited for you to be here, and to see what transpires for you.”
I invited all of the women into the round pen with Cowboy, to meet him, since it was our first group. His friendliness and curiosity brought him to each participant individually. He smelled each woman, bringing his nostril up and down each side of her, as he got to know her in his horsey way. With this woman, however, he walked past her. She assumed that he didn’t like her.
Her piece of work in the circle was brave. We looked at her family’s dynamics when she was 12 years old. The root of her lack of trust in others was seen, as well as her invisibility, which Cowboy had clearly perceived.
I invited her to go into the round pen with Cowboy, which she did without hesitation. I asked her to walk and finish a specific statement out loud, several times. Each time was a new statement of truth. Cowboy walked with his head next to her, each step of the way, honoring the words she spoke....until he heard something he didn’t believe.
Then he turned in front of her and blocked her forward movement. I told her that he was calling her out. She stood in awe, jaw dropped, in total disbelief. Then she said, “Oh my God…I have believed that about myself for my entire life…and it’s not true.” It was a limiting belief that had been planted in her subconscious, by a caregiver, not on purpose, and it had charted the course of her life. She stood for the longest time, and I could see that her mind was completely blown.
Moments like this bring me immense joy. In my work, this is the gold, the brightness, the purpose. This woman came to believe, on an inner-knowing level, that this long-held belief of hers was a lie. This is transformation: the new belief was so profound, and on such a cellular level, that it would not be doubted or reasoned away in the future. It was her new reality.
You know what one of the coolest parts of this was for me? That this lightning-bolt awareness did not come to her over a discussion we had…it came over the course of our first hour together, after a couple of experiences had with me, gestalt, and my horse. Transformation can occur that quickly. In fact, it is not uncommon.
Cowboy moved away for a moment, then slowly aligned himself with her. “What is he doing?” the woman asked.
“He is balancing your root chakra,” I replied. “He is supporting you in the place that he senses you need it the most. The root chakra is the base of your most primal needs: security, safety, family.” Again, her jaw dropped and her expression showed me that her mind was blown. All that she had previously believed, about chakras, about horses and their abilities, about specific parts of her family and what she believed about them, were disintegrating. And we could all see that awareness on her face. She leaned into him, and allowed him to do his work. He spent a lot of time with her, balancing that which he sensed was unbalanced, and then walked away.
Horses read energy. Horses sense when we are in our truth. After thousands of years of evolution as prey animals, they know who is a predator and who is safe for them to be around. When we are in our truth, they come closer, wanting to be with us. If what is in our hearts and minds does not match, they move away from us. If we are in our heads all the time, and have not made the journey to our hearts, with the ability to feel our feelings, they don’t perceive us as safe either. This is what Cowboy showed my client on that first day of group.
By ignoring her at the beginning, he told us that she was in her head, which she confirmed later. And in the round pen, he helped her see a lifelong limiting belief as garbage to throw out.
At the end of our group, after two other women did pieces of work as well, we gathered in our circle for closing. Everyone was overjoyed for her and for themselves, at the healing they were experiencing and witnessing.
This is just part of the power that horses have for healing.
The following week, this client showed up saying that she had been Googling chakras. The week after that she came in beaming, saying that our group was her favorite part of the week and she couldn’t wait to get there. The next time she came, she wanted to pet and groom Cowboy after her piece of work; to love on him. She also shared that for years she didn’t sleep well due to nightmares, and that the night before, she dreamt of Cowboy and woke feeling happy. As of today, she has attended group 5 times, and already sees her transformation occurring.
If you are on your personal journey of healing, and would like to see how the horses and I might help you, please give me a call. I have two groups starting soon, and would love to see if we’d be a good fit for each other.
In Serenity,
Julie
