Loving you so much my beautiful !
I missed you in February!
I was busy "doing" the "work".
A phrase that we, light workers understand to mean
that we are looking at our shadows, triggers, unhealed traumas and
healing them. We do this not just for ourselves, but our Ancestors and for YOU! We are looking to the body for the signs so that we can
lovingly remove them from us and surrender them to something so much greater than us.
Many of you who have worked with me, know that I've been on my
"Healers Journey" for over 30 years now.
When I look back, I'm amazed as to how far
I've traveled on this road.
But there is always more than can be unlocked and unleashed to set FREE!
The month of February where everyone was busy showing their loved ones love, I was showing myself compassion and love as I worked through some heavy traumas.
The first that showed up was the experience I had as a 9 year old to the age of 12. I was bullied by another girl in school.
I had no understanding at that age what I did to deserve such cruelty.
πI have already done the forgiveness for self and the other
πMy soul pieces have been retrieved
πThe lessons have been learnt
πI thought I had released it?
Healing is about removing the layers of the onion to get to the core.
Or adding petals to the lotus for your becoming.
Whichever analogy you want to use.
As you heal more nuances show up for you according to your capacity to let it go.
Being bullied as a child can leave you with 3 tendencies
in your behavior as an adult:
π Appease
π Defend
π Bolt
Bolting is leaving a project, relationship, commitment before it has the chance to come to it's natural completion.
Defending is finding all kinds of excuses for your behavior good or bad (if we have to label them), and pointing the finger to others by blaming.
Appeasing is when we find ourselves always making sure that everyone is happy, that we do not disturb anyone or anything making sure not to rattle anyone's feathers. And always putting everyone's needs first neglecting our own.
π We act this way for we want to be lovable!
π We want to be liked!
π We do not want to be alone or left out!
Here is an example for you. When I receive a notification that someone has unsubscribed from my newsletter I get this feeling that washes over me
that I need to appease them...get them to like me again. Questions come into my mind and I ask: "Did I say something to offend them?", "Oh My do they still like me?"
Intellectually, I know that unsubscribing is not personal or a reflection of how lovable I am. It has absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever. But my 9 year old self does not know this. My 9 year old self wants to be liked, part of a community, LOVED and accepted!
For many of us, the way we are in the world has to do with the events that shaped us as children and young adults. What my 9 year old tried so desperately to do was to be liked by this classmate.
As my 56 year old self, this shows up as an uneasy, visceral feeling in my body when someone unsubscribes from my newsletter.
February, the month of love was reflected to me. I practiced self love by reminding myself and my 9 year old Self the following:
β£οΈ I am love
β£οΈ I am loved
β£οΈ Life loves me
I remind myself and my 9 year old self; that little girl is safe and incredibly lovable! I rock her in my arms and whisper in her ear that she is Divine and she is made from the Source of all that is, LOVE!
Aho!
My Musings & Ponderings
π¦ Winter Comes to an End
The cycle of death is almost at a close.
Can you feel the stirrings of our Great Mother Earth?
Deep beneath, life is starting to very slowly stir.
I always find that my natural rhythm in March is to
get as much rest as possible. Rest for me looks like lazy mornings,
naps in the afternoon, a little yoga and meditation and comfort food.
The latter much to my detriment as I carry that extra winter fat.
I also notice I am reluctant to come fully alive. There is a part of me
who is content to hibernate for longer.
How about you? What do you experience at this time?
Are you impatient for the long winter to end? Or are you okay with
a little bit more snow. Ha! Ha!
