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“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” Mark Nepo

Gratitude is a positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative and is associated with several mental and physical health benefits. When you experience gratitude, you feel grateful for something or someone in your life and respond with feelings of kindness, warmth, and other forms of generosity.

The word gratitude can have many meanings depending on how others use it and in what context. Generally speaking, gratitude involves recognizing that something good has happened to you. It also consists of acknowledging that someone is responsible for it, whether it's a specific person in your life, an impersonal source like nature, or a divine entity.

Feelings of gratitude often emerge spontaneously in the moment, but evidence suggests that consciously cultivating such thankfulness can have mental health benefits.


Signs of Gratitude 

So what does gratitude look like? How do you know if you are experiencing a sense of gratitude? Expressing your appreciation and thanks for what you have can happen in a number of different ways. For example, it might entail:


  • Spending a few moments thinking about the things in your life that you are grateful for
  • Stopping to observe and acknowledge the beauty of wonder of something you encounter in your daily life
  • Being thankful for your health
  • Thanking someone for the positive influence they have in your life
  • Doing something kind for another person to show that you are grateful
  • Paying attention to the small things in your life that bring you joy and peace
  • Meditation focused on giving thanks

Gratitude is often a spontaneous emotion that you feel in the moment. Some people are naturally prone to experiencing it more often than others, but experts suggest that it is also something that you can cultivate and learn to practice more often.


How Often Do You Experience Gratitude? 

You can evaluate your tendency to experience gratitude by asking yourself the following questions.

  • Do you feel like you have a lot to be thankful for in your life?
  • If you made a list of all the things you are grateful for, would that list be very long?
  • When you look at the world, can you find many things to be grateful for?
  • Do you feel like your appreciation for life and other people has grown stronger as you get older?
  • Do you frequently experience moments where you appreciate someone or something?
  • Do you appreciate a wide variety of people in your life?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you probably have a strong sense of gratitude. If you answered no to many or all, you could take steps to bring more gratitude into your life.


How to Practice Gratitude 

Developing a sense of gratitude isn't complex or challenging. It doesn't require any special tools or training. And the more you practice it, the better you will become and put yourself into a grateful state of mind. Here's how to do this:

Observe the Moment 

Take a second to focus on your experience and how you are feeling. Take stock of your senses and think about what is helping you cope. Are there people who have done something for you, or are there particular things helping you manage your stress, feel good about your life, or accomplish what you need to do?

You may also find the practice of mindfulness, which focuses on becoming more aware of the present moment, a helpful tool.

Write it Down 

You might find it helpful to start a gratitude journal where you jot down a few things you are thankful for each day. Being able to look back on these observations can help when you are struggling to feel grateful.

Savor the Moment 

Give yourself time to really enjoy the moment. Focus on the experience and allow yourself to absorb those good feelings. Concentrate on the sensations and emotions you are experiencing in a given moment and think about the things you appreciate.

Create Gratitude Rituals 

Pausing for a moment to appreciate something and giving thanks for it can help you feel a greater sense of gratitude. A meditation, prayer, or mantra are examples of rituals that can inspire a greater sense of gratitude.

Give Thanks 

Gratitude is all about recognizing and appreciating those people, things, moments, skills, or gifts that bring joy, peace, or comfort into our lives. Show your appreciation. You might thank a person to show you are thankful for them, or you might spend a moment simply mentally appreciating what you have.

Expressing your appreciation for others is an important component that can affect your interpersonal relationships, particularly those with your partner. People with high levels of gratitude experience sharp declines in marital satisfaction when their partner does not express gratitude in return.

Showing your gratitude for those around you can help improve the quality and satisfaction of your relationships.


Impact of Gratitude 

The subject is something that has interested religious scholars and philosophers since ancient times. Research on gratitude didn't take off until the 1950s, as psychologists and sociologists began to examine the impact that gratitude could have on individuals and groups. Since then, interest in the topic has grown considerably as the potential health benefits became increasingly apparent.

The practice of gratitude can have a significant positive impact on both physical and psychological health. Some of the benefits of gratitude that researchers have uncovered include:

  • Better sleep
  • Better immunity
  • Higher self-esteem
  • Decreased stress
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Less anxiety and depression
  • Stronger relationships
  • Higher levels of optimism
  • Greater life satisfaction

Research also suggests that people who are more grateful are more likely to engage in other health-promoting behaviors, including exercising, following their doctor's recommendations, and sticking to a healthier lifestyle.

According to psychologist Robert Emmons, gratitude can transform people's lives for several reasons. Because it helps people focus on the present, it plays a role in magnifying positive emotions.

Focusing on gratitutde can also help improve self-worth. When you acknowledge that there are people in the world who care about you and are looking out for your interests, it can help you recognize your value.


Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret, and depression, which can destroy our happiness.

— ROBERT EMMONS, PROFESSOR AT UC DAVIS



Tips for Developing Gratitude 

Many different exercises and interventions have been shown to help people cultivate a stronger sense of gratitude in their day-to-day life.

Start a Gratitude Journal 

Keeping a gratitude journal can be a great way to develop this skill. Spend a few minutes each day writing about something you are grateful for. This doesn’t need to be a long or complex process.

Simply listing two or three items each day and focusing on experiencing gratitude for them can help.

In one study, healthcare workers who wrote down "three good things" each day experienced decreased emotional exhaustion and depression and improved their work-life balance and overall happiness.13

Reframe Experiences 

Reframe experiences to take a more positive, realistic, or neutral approach. Another way to increase gratitude is to compare current situations to negative experiences in the past. Doing this not only allows you to see how your strengths helped carry you through those events, but it also helps you focus on the things you can be grateful for in the here and now.

Focus on Your Senses 

Taking moments to focus on what you see, hear, taste, touch, and feel can be helpful for building feelings of gratitude. This can help you gain a greater appreciation of the world around you and what it means to be alive.

Just as in meditation, the key to mindful listening is to simply notice when your mind begins to wander, and then gently bring your focus back to center—in this case, to the speaker. You train yourself to refrain from interrupting, adding your point of view, or sharing similar experiences. These interjections take away from the speaker’s experience by making it about you. Instead of projecting your experience or feelings onto their message, the idea is to pay full attention and listen with the intention only to hear with an open, receptive, nonjudgmental, and compassionate ear. One way to practice this is to repeat back to the speaker what you think you heard him or her say, to see if you fully understand what the person is trying to communicate. You might be surprised by how often your mental and emotional filters lead to misinterpretation, however subtle.


What Are Your Listening Habits?

Paying full attention is hard, for everyone. There are external and internal forces to manage, even when you’re putting in conscious effort. What’s happening in your head can be disruptive. Start looking deeply at your impulses and habits during interactions with different people. Do you tend to interrupt or “help out” by finishing someone’s sentence? If the person you’re talking with is struggling, is your immediate reaction to try to say something funny to break the tension? Or maybe there’s a silence that makes you uncomfortable, so you find yourself speaking just to fill the void.

We all have our conversational patterns, but seeing these tendencies is a way to learn about yourself from the inside out, and in turn, to know how to be truly present for someone else. With self-awareness, you can begin to listen with greater care—not only to words, but also to the emotion and meaning that the speaker is expressing. You’ll not only learn more from the speaker about who he or she is and what’s happening in their life, but you’ll feel more connected.


Try It: 5 Key Mindful Listening Techniques

  1. Hear between the words. When you’re in conversation, set your mind to being present, receptive, and ready to listen with compassion. Bring yourself into the moment with a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is this person communicating beyond the words they use? What is your sense of what they are feeling?
  2. Use nonverbal cues to indicate you’re listening. When the other person is speaking, just listen. Let go of any agenda or points you want to make and try to be there quietly, but mentally active and alert. Use nonverbal signals like nodding or smiling to let the person know you’re tuned in.
  3. Notice when your mind has wandered away from the conversation. As with mindful breathing, your thoughts will wander. When you realize that your mind has drifted, let go of the thoughts and return your attention to what the person is saying.
  4. Scan your body language. Tuning in to your own body can give you valuable information about your direct experience when listening. Is there tightness in your chest, uneasiness in your belly? Or do you feel a lightness and a sense of joy?
  5. Respond with curiosity. When you get fairly good at listening mindfully without speaking, begin to experiment with offering brief verbal comments that express kindness, or ask questions that deepen understanding. The key is to keep the focus on the speaker, not to bend it around to yourself. You might try, “Oh, that sounds rough. What happened next?”


By Vanessa Van Edwards


What do geniuses do differently?

Do they have a unique morning routine? Interesting daily rituals?

To answer these questions, let us turn to one of the most brilliant minds in history: Leonardo da Vinci.

You might know Da Vinci as an artist, but he was also an architect, scientist, musician, mathematician, inventor, anatomist, geologist, astronomer, cartographer, botanist, historian and writer. He didn’t just excel in one area, but rather he flourished across disciplines and created concepts that have lasted for centuries. Da Vinci had a very specific approach to life that anyone can learn. You can develop your essential elements of genius.


The 7 Da Vincian Principles

Gelb explores how Da Vinci approached life and, most importantly, lays it out for readers in a practical framework for self-improvement.

If you didn’t get a chance to read the book–which I highly recommend since it is filled with Da Vinci’s original drawings and illustrations, I have outlined the 7 Da Vincian Principles for you here:



#1: Curiosità

Curiosita is an insatiably curious approach to life and unrelenting quest for continuous learning.

Da Vinci is not the only one who embodied a seemingly infinite supply of curiosity. Many of history’s great inventors and leaders had the desire to unlock the mysteries of life. So, I think about curiosity in 2 basic questions:

  1. What if?
  2. How come?


What If: Asks your brain to project into the future. It helps you see opportunities where you might have missed them, it helps you make connections and it is a sneaky way to get your brain more goal-oriented. What if I started a conversation with this person? What if I tried this new activity? What if I started that new workout program? What comes after ‘what if…’ is typically magical.

How Come: How come gets you into ‘why’. Instead of passively observing the world or going into automatic responses, ‘how come’ helps you question both your actions and other’s motives. I believe this question keeps me honest and alert. It forces me to live more purposefully. Da Vinci didn’t waste a second of his life. He was always creating and guessing and tinkering. ‘How come’ helps you use every second of your life with a mission.

Here are some ways you can capture more Curiosita:

  • A Hundred Questions: Write down 100 questions that are important to you. These could be questions you wish to answer yourself such as, “What is my purpose?” or “What is the meaning of life?” or questions you want to know about everyone you meet like, “What is your passion? or “What makes you happy?” This is the ultimate ‘what if’ and ‘how come’ exercise.
  • Ten Power Questions: After you have brainstormed a list of 100 questions, select the 10 that have the most powerful impact when you read them. Which ones spark a feeling of motivation or achievement? These are your catalyst questions. For example:
  • When am I most naturally myself?
  • What is my greatest talent?
  • What is my heart’s deepest desire?
  • Daily Themes: Da Vinci was an avid writer and note taker. He had a journal everywhere he went. Carry a journal with you and write down your ideas and observations. Each day, choose a theme or word. You can do this at the beginning of the day to set the intention or at the end of the day as a cool down or wrap-up.

#2: Dimostrazione

Dimostrazione is a commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence and a willingness to learn from mistakes.

I love this principle, because it is empowering. Dimostrazione is the embodiment of taking your life into your own hands. This principle tells us:

Test every idea.

Don’t take anything for granted.

Experience life first hand.

I believe life should be an experiment. That we should have a series of amazing hypotheses every day, and we should be testing them. A hypothesis consists of a 2 part statement:

If…, then…

Here are some ways you can capture more Dimostrazione:

  • Find Your Greats: You have probably heard of all the most popular artists and authors, but who are your favorites? Set out to find your greats. Don’t take anyone else’s word for it. Start your own search for the artists, classical musicians or writers that inspire you. Go to a museum and look at the paintings without glancing at the names.
  • Try making the strongest possible argument against one of your own beliefs just for the mental exercise. Write at least 3 points against yourself.

#3: Sensazione

Sensazione is the continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to enliven experience.

Fill in the blank:

  • ___is so beautiful.
  • I love the way _____ smells.
  • What a lovely _____.
  • I adore the feeling of ____.
  • The sound of ____ is music to my ears.

We forget to savor our experiences. We have all heard ‘stop and smell the roses,’ but when was the last time you actually stopped and smelled the roses? Sure, literal roses, but also metaphorical roses. When was the last time you stopped to savor an experience? Da Vinci was incredibly inspired by the world around him and the more he honed his senses, the more heightened his genius became.

Here are some ways you can capture more Sensazione:

A Sense a Day: Plan out 5 experiences in the next few months where you practice honoring each of your senses. 

  • For smell, go to the local botanical gardens, make your own perfume or cologne and learn to recognize herbs by their scent at the local grocery store.
  • For taste, (this one is easy!) eat a bunch of your favorite foods and try one new cuisine. Figure out your favorite spice.
  • For sight, go to your local museum, then hike to a vista or view point and learn some new photography techniques.
  • For touch, go to your local animal shelter and volunteer petting pups and kitties. Go through your closet and organize it by fabric. Go shopping and try to buy one new fabric you have never owned before — suede? Velvet? Flannel?
  • For hearing, go to a concert, stop by your local music store and try to play an instrument you have never heard before. If you are really ambitious, try to learn bird mating calls or spend some time trying to draw sound. For example, if you had to draw the sound of a trumpet, how would you do it? (mine looks like a messy swirl). 

#4: Sfumato

Sfumato is a willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty. Da Vinci had a very unique ability to understand the extreme opposites of opinions and phenomenon. He was also able to explore unknowns and revel in the uncertainty. Most of us are uncomfortable with not knowing or unanswerable questions, so we avoid anything out of our control. We stick to what we know and immediately do a Google search the moment we don’t know something.

Here are some ways you can capture more Sfumato:

  • Stop Googling: For the next week, anytime you need to look up a word or trivia fact, try to guess the answer instead. You can phone a friend for help as well, as long as they brainstorm with you too!
  • Embrace Your Ambiguity: List some situations from your life where you are confused or feel ambiguous about an outcome and explore the feelings that come up.
  • Cultivate Confusion Endurance: Tap into your own paradoxes by asking questions like, “How are my strengths and weaknesses related?” or “What is the relationship between my saddest moments and the most joyful ones?”

#5: Arte/Scienza

Arte/scienza is the development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination.

Although Da Vinci wasn’t around for the research on right and left brain thinking, this concept speaks directly to the idea of whole brain thinking. Mark the statements that sound like you:

Right Brained:

  • ___ I like details
  • ___ I am almost always on time
  • ___ I rely on logic
  • ___ I am skilled at math
  • ___ I am organized and disciplined
  • ___ I like lists

Left Brained:

  • ___ I am highly imaginative
  • ___ I am good at brainstorming
  • ___ I love to doodle
  • ___ I often say or do the unexpected
  • ___ I rely on intuition
  • ___I often lose track of time

Which one had more statements that you agreed with? Were you balanced? Da Vinci was a big believer in using both parts of your brain. He did this in his notebooks by tying ideas with drawings. Specifically, he was the original mind-mapper. Here is a cool overview on mindmapping:


Create a mind map of your life: Have you ever thought about how the different parts of your life are connected? Make a mind map of your major life moments and how they are connected.

#6: Corporalitá

Corporalita is the cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness and poise. Da Vinci was incredibly athletic in addition to his mental prowess. From early on, he realized that if he wanted his mind to perform at optimal levels, his body also had to be in top shape.

I couldn’t agree with this more. If I have a bad night’s sleep, my work suffers. If I don’t eat well, my energy slows. If I don’t get enough movement, my back kills me.

Here are some ways you can capture more Corporalita:

  • Learn the Science of Eating:Make your food intake more purposeful.
  • Get on a Sleep Schedule: Everyone has different sleep needs and different sleep rhythms. For the next week, track your sleep times and hours and see which days you have the most energy. Are you a night worker? A morning person? Learn your cycles and then honor them by building a sleep routine.
  • Cultivate Ambidexterity: Da Vinci used both his right and left hands as he worked. You can do this by trying to brush your teeth with your non dominant hand or get a really patient person to play a game of pool, tennis or catch where you switch hands!

#7: Connessione

Connessione is a recognition of and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things and phenomena.

  • I think this is one of the most complex and interesting Da Vincian principles. It has to do with something called ‘systems thinking’. Systems thinking is when you are able to take vast amounts of information and create routines, lists and organization. It also has to do with pattern recognition.

When you can create systems and recognize patterns in your life, you are able to cultivate true genius.

Here are some ways you can capture more Connessione:

  • What’s Your Book Outline? If you had to create a table of contents for a book about your life, what would it be if you couldn’t make it chronological?
  • 3 Objects: Pick 3 random objects in your house. If you had to find connections between them, what would they be? For example, I chose my blender, my garage clicker and a bottle of nail polish. Can you think of three connections? I thought: With all three of these things, the faster they work, the better. The faster the blender, the better the smoothie, the faster the garage door opens, the faster I get home and the faster my polish dries, the less risk there is of my mushing up my toe nails. This is a great one to play with kids!
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Ingredients

  • 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1 Tbsp. minced fresh ginger
  • 1 lb. ground pork
  • 1 Tbsp. toasted sesame oil
  • 1/2 onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 c. shredded carrot
  • 1/4 green cabbage, thinly sliced
  • 1/4 c. low-sodium soy sauce
  • 1 Tbsp. sriracha
  • Kosher salt
  • 1 green onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 Tbsp. toasted sesame seeds

Directions

  1. In a large skillet over medium heat, heat vegetable oil. Add garlic and ginger and cook until fragrant, 1 minute. 
  2. Add pork and cook, stirring occasionally, until meat is golden in parts and cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes, breaking meat into small pieces with spoon or spatula.
  3. Push pork to the side and add sesame oil. Add onion, carrot, and cabbage. Stir to combine with meat and add soy sauce and sriracha. Cook until cabbage is tender, 5 to 8 minutes. Season to taste with salt.
  4. Transfer mixture to a serving dish and garnish with scallions and sesame seeds.


A teacher's vitality or capacity to be vital, present, positive, and deeply engaged and connected to her/his children and students is not a fixed, indelible condition, but a state that ebbs and flows and grows within the context of the teaching life. Stepping Stone School is committed to a program of professional development devoted explicitly to nourishing the inner and external life or core dimensions that are increasingly important for our educators on their journey.
-Rhonda Paver
The Educator Vitality Journey is a program designed to help our teachers to make a daily, conscious effort to be positive, self-aware, passionate, and fully engaged in their roles, while deepening their understanding of their true potential.