Have Your Cake and Eat it Too…
“You can stand tall without standing on someone.
You can be a victor without having victims.”
— Harriett Woods
Everybody likes to win. After all, most people strive for some kind of reward for their efforts, whether on the playing field or in business. But in order to win, does someone else have to lose? Sadly, all too often people believe the answer is “yes.”
The win/lose attitude, however, limits everyone. It kills cooperation and stifles creativity. Instead of looking at the bigger picture and the broader solution of what’s possible, win/lose thinking narrows the focus down to “what’s in it for me?”
There is another way—in life and in business.
In seeking the win for everyone, we must drop our negative behaviors (making someone else look bad, being right at any cost) and pursue positive ones. We must emphasize collaboration and cooperative solutions and recognize there is more than one way to look at any situation.
In business, there are many examples of suppliers working together to build their individual businesses to the benefit of a mutual customer, instead of trying to undercut each other. In life, dealing fairly with others creates a “win” for everyone, rather than pursuing lopsided outcomes in favor of one person, while creating upset and dissension for others.
Within a company or department, when individuals are only “out for themselves,” it’s the same as adopting a win/lose attitude. The sales person focused only on making her numbers won’t pass on a lead or a piece of vital information to a colleague. The manager vying for a promotion won’t compliment a colleague for good work in a meeting for fear of making that person look too good.
“Win/lose attitudes poison the proverbial well for everyone.”
Knowing that everyone can win—that there is enough business, money, success, resources, and opportunity to go around—each individual can strive to be his or her personal best, while also encouraging and inspiring others to achieve their goals as well.
Even in situations in which one person or party achieves something and another does not—such as in a competitive bidding scenario or a sports competition—winning does not mean making another party into “the loser.”
Honest, healthy competition brings out the best in everyone. The bar is raised and everyone benefits by showcasing what they can do, fair and square, no matter the outcome.
It takes more from an individual to play win/win—self-awareness, self-control, mutual respect, letting go of a self-centered ego and supporting the highest good for the company, project or relationship. Win/win players stand out from the rest of the crowd and can always stand tall because they are operating from a higher level of social consciousness by choosing to play a bigger game.
It takes no skill and no courage to play win/lose. Anybody can do that.
