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2024 Conference Recap: Reframe, Recenter, Reflect
By Carol Malueg
Our annual conference featured excellent speakers dedicated to supporting gifted home educators and their families.
Day 1 – Reframe
Kicking off the conference on Friday evening, Sam Young of Young Scholars Academy asked the question, “Why do we spend so much time on our weaknesses?” Mr. Sam explored the ways a standardized system can discount or mask our children’s superpowers. He recommended that adults stop being judges and start being detectives; your kids are probably doing great things you aren't even aware of. He asked, how do we change our focus and looks for new ways to support our kids? Here are some recommendations from Mr. Sam:
https://youngscholarsacademy.org
Our Friday keynote speaker, Dr. Dan Peters sat with us for an informal conversation. No presentation, no slides, just Dr. Dan and his wisdom. He started the conversation by asking us to trust our kids and wound up asking us to trust ourselves. This full circle encompassed a conversation about:
- giving our kids age-appropriate ownership of their educational choices
- being a good listener even when all we want to do is advise
- letting kids ask for help on their own terms AND realizing when its time to step in and help if they are overwhelmed
- managing our own emotions and anxiety so they don’t interfere with this all-important relationship with our child
- modeling self-care so our kids know how to take care of themselves
- inviting conversations without an agenda
- trusting kids, appreciating their profound insight and knowledge
- leaning into process as opposed to worrying about outcome
He shared this message for families dealing with anxiety– “I’d like us all to feel hope and have faith in humanity. We are exposed to a lot of bad, scary stuff, but there are far more good people and things at work that we don’t see. (I have) hope for your family, the individual, and the collective.” Finally, he shared his wish that we all find meaning and purpose in our lives.
https://www.drdanpeters.com
Day 2 – Recenter
GHF’s own Dr. Barry Gelston started our Saturday with a reflection on GHF’s mission, vision, and values. Then he asked, why do many gifted families decide to do school differently? Families who opt for non-traditional schooling, even if their child is in a regular school some or all of the school day, find opportunities for their kids to delve deeper into topics or explore subjects they won’t find in school. Here at GHF, we can share our experiences about trying to find a good educational fit, voice our fears about homeschooling, and confess our worries that we won’t be able to provide everything our child needs. This community is so important because of the support we provide one another and the experiences, knowledge, and wisdom we share with one other. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Dr. Barry!
https://www.mrgelston.com
From her opening sentence, “Life is gonna life,” Maria Kennedy took us on a journey of discovery. She led us through the reality of parenting a gifted child, of how it differs from our expectations of parenting, and of our own journey of self-discovery of ourselves as gifted people. Maria invited us to challenge our preconceptions about giftedness. She reminded us to tell our kids we are proud of them every day. Our kids are often misunderstood, and we are their safe place. Takeaways from Maria:
- our kids need champions as much as they need challenges
- sometimes we need to set boundaries with extended family: "I will take care of what the child can’t do right now while you celebrate strengths and successes"
- find your community– a place "where people nerd over the same things your child nerds over"
Thank you for your guidance, Maria!
mariamkennedy49@gmail.com
Dr. Austina De Bonte took us through an exploration of many possible causes and expressions of 2e-ness, from visual and auditory disorders to ADHD and autism. She emphasized that neurodiverse humans have strengths and challenges and many of the challenges center on fitting into the environment. If we change the environment, things may get better. The trick is to know what to change, which is where diagnosis comes in. Early and accurate diagnosis provides a better chance for successful intervention. There is no one-stop shop for a diagnosis – you need to be an informed consumer and ask a lot of questions. Austina emphasized the importance of finding the right expert for the job; she encouraged us to share recommendations with each other. Check out her website for articles packed with information to help you navigate these complicated waters.
https://www.smartisnoteasy.com/
Lisa Jobe led with the questions: how do we do school differently? What can homeschooling look like for my gifted child? Lisa's homeschooling advice:
- let the learner lead
- follow the child's interests
- find curriculum in the real world;let go of the overly structured stairstep of school curricula
She also noted that transcripts for homeschooling can look different than traditional transcripts. Traditional grading methods may leave a percentage of learning on the table; homeschoolers can revisit content until they have achieved mastery. And while college is not the only goal or the only way to be successful in life, homeschoolers have an equal chance of being accepted to competitive colleges and universities as traditional schoolers! Find more nuggets of homeschooling wisdom here:
https://sequoiagifted.com
Paula Prober, our Saturday keynote speaker, joined us with a stubbed toe and an ice pack, but if she hadn't told us, we would never have known. Her calm was just as compelling as ever as she invited us in for self-care and self-reflection. Paula addressed our imposter syndrome, the sense that something is wrong with us, when in reality we are just being sensitive, empathetic, and intuitive. She also called out the tendency for many gifted adults to think and say, “I’m not gifted, I’m just…”
Paula asked us to appreciate our strengths and explore our interests. And she gave us permission to say no. “If you did everything that you could do, you would burn out.”
Paula left us with these ideas:
- find your people; do things that you find interesting and you may find other gifted people interested in the same things
- practice gratitude for simple things
- keep in mind that perfectionism is passed down in families
https://rainforestmind.com
Dr. Heidi Lack, who also serves as our GHF Professional Group Facilitator, led us through a thoughtful guided meditation to help us recenter after a long day of learning. In her gentle way, she invited us to let go of our self-judgment and allow our creativity to flow. The hour evaporated as we listened, shared, and ended on the reminder to be kind to ourselves, just as we hope our children are learning how to be kind to themselves.
https://drheidilack.com
Day 3 – Reflect
Sharon Duncan reminded us that giftedness tends to run in families. Part of our journey as parents and guardians is our own self-discovery of giftedness. Gifted people take in and process information differently than others, “experiencing the world in a qualitatively different manner.” Her advice? Parent the child in front of you at this moment. Sharon gave us a great overview of Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities, including strategies for supporting our kids and ourselves when we experience these intensities. Some takeaways from Sharon’s presentation:
- when your child is struggling with a school task, first try making it harder
- procrastination is sometimes a way of increasing excitement or interest in a task
- answer a multiple choice test in the way everybody else would (this is a great technique to cut through the in-depth analysis that often results in a wrong answer)
- develop and use a feelings vocabulary with your kids
- recognize your impact on others; people tend to mirror, which makes escalating easier
- model, model, model -- you are your child’s most important role model
https://gro-gifted.org
Our final session of the conference was an informal discussion facilitated by us: GHF board members, Kasi Peters and Carol Malueg. Two of our presenters, Sharon Duncan and Dr. Heidi Lack, joined us for a recap of the conference and a Q&A session with attendees. We had a lot of questions about assessments: what type to get, where to go, what to do with the results. This was so helpful for our conference team, because we know what needs to come next -- assessment talk!
https://www.squarepegssupport.com
https://giftedroads.com
Thanks to everyone who presented, attended, sponsored, and organized this event. We love spending time with our GHF community, and we look forward to seeing you soon! Keep an eye on the calendar for upcoming Conversations, and for news about our 2025 Annual Conference!
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