Vayera Parsha Lesson- Discord vs. Harmony
For Year 2 of Parsha Lesson, I will be focusing on one practical middah, character trait, to think about in the week ahead and steps we can take to attain it.
Background
Rashi and the Sifsei Chachami explain that the Angels who came to visit Avraham were of one mind- with similar thoughts and outlook. Even though they were different and they each had different missions, their unity was such that they were all on the same page.
What was this unity attributable to? The commentators explain that it was due to the fact that the evil inclination or yetzer hara does not rule over Angels. When people are in the grasp of the evil inclination, when people are under the influence of their desires, lusts, and other influences- they cannot be unified.
The Angels, understandably, did not have this and therefore, they were able to have a high degree of unity.
Question
How does this follow? Say that there were two people who were friends and they both had similar lusts and desires- why could they not have unity to accomplish their joined interests together?
Being under the influence of the evil inclination is certainly not a good thing, but how would this inhibit one’s ability to have unity with others?
Answer
Rabbeinu Yonah in his commentary on Mishlei (18:1) explains that one who is constantly drawn after his desires will not be able to attain true friendship. He explains that people cannot constantly satisfy and handle another’s character if they themselves are always drawn after their own wants and desires. For a certain amount of time, perhaps, but not for any meaningful length of time necessary to establish a real unity and friendship.
Why is this so? Being that everyone is different, no two people have the same desires, interests and wants. If there is a constant struggle between one being able to ‘be themselves’ or ‘live for themselves’ and doing for those around them, the inevitable result is a limiting of how much one would unify and join together with those around them.
Lesson
To whatever degree a person is under the influence of his evil inclination will be the quality of his friendships and unity with those around him. The Angels, who were completely free of the evil inclination, were able to completely nullify and set aside their own wants and desires for each others- and thereby attain true unity.
It is no surprise that now, in the 21st century, in the United States of America, with the most wealth and physical comfort and bountiful blessing of any country of any time in human history- save Adam’s short stay in the Garden of Eden- there is so much discord and such division in our society. In a materialistic world where everyone’s expectation is to satisfy all of their wants and desires to the greatest degree- it is inevitable that people will not be able to get along.
In order to get along, people have to be ready to live for another. One needs to be able to really and TRULY set aside their wants for someone else. The more self-centered and focused on our own comfort we are, we will not be able get along with those around us.
First Step
One can focus on doing something for someone else at the time that he himself has a desire and want for something. For example: someone is going to take a slice of pizza from the box. If they can at that moment take a slice for someone else, happily, they will be a step in the direction of truly doing for others and therefore, improving one’s harmony with others.
If we can even take one step in the direction of setting aside our own wants and doing for someone else- happily!- this can stoke within us the true pleasure and enjoyment of living to do kindness and uplift those around us.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
