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Vayera- Subtle messages
For this year’s Parsha Lesson I will be focusing on a chinuch (parenting/ educational) lesson that can be derived from the Dvar Torah.
Background
At the beginning of this week’s parsha, we read about Avraham recuperating from the Bris Milah which he underwent at the age of 99 years old. While Avraham was recuperating from this operation, he is visited by 3 angels, messengers of Hashem, who were en route to various missions. Avraham, the consummate host and person of kindness to others, runs out- while in his particularly pained and weakened state- to greet these visitors in order to invite them to his home for a meal.
The Torah, in passuk (verse) 1, tells us that Avraham was sitting in the opening of his tent. The Torah then again in passuk 2 tells us that Avraham ran ‘from the entrance of his tent.’ The Seforno is bothered by the obvious question- what is the purpose of the Torah reiterating this piece of information? We already know he was in the entrance of his tent! The Torah could have simply said ‘and Avraham ran’ and we would know where he was running from.
The Torah, which is the word of G-d Himself, is extremely exacting and does not have any extra words, stylistic words, etc. Each and every word of the Torah is written because it is of absolute necessity and in order to convey something important.
The Seforno answers that the reason why the Torah tells us that Avraham ran ‘from the entrance of his tent’ is in order to let us know that he actually started running from the very entrance to his tent! Avraham did not begin walking and then hurry, rather immediately upon seeing the potential guests, Avraham started running towards them right away. Why is this important? The Seforno explains that the mode with which one does something, and in this instance Avraham running to greet his guests, shows the appreciation and excitement that a person has to do that which they are doing. In this instance that excitement was honorable to the guests as they were not only welcomed in for a meal but in inviting them, Avraham expressed his excitement to host them.
Question
Why is Avraham’s running ‘from the entrance to his tent’, specifically, so important as to be noticed and mentioned by Hashem in the Torah for all time?
If the Torah had merely said that Avraham ‘ran to greet his guests’ and not added the extra emphasis that this was specifically from the ‘entrance to his tent’, would we not learn this lesson- that the mode of how we do kindness is important? We would anyway learn that it is important to not only do that which is right and good, but to also do it in a way which conveys to those for whom we are doing something, an excitement to do for them.
So, how did the Seforno answer his question? It may be a very nice lesson, but if that lesson can be learned without these extra words, then the question remains: why would the Torah reiterate that Avraham ran ‘from the entrance of his tent’? And yes, the Torah is teaching us that he ran ‘from the entrance of his tent’ precisely, and not just at some point did he start running, but there would not seem to be a meaningful difference in the lesson that the Torah is teaching us and therefore, no need for these extra words.
Answer
R’ Mordechai Tropper z”l, who was the longtime Mashgiach (Dean of Students) of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim and someone who I learned a lot from, would often say that ‘subtleties and nuances are perhaps more important than explicit actions and expressions.’ Subtle messages and nuances of behavior become more bedrocked into a person’s ‘real self’ as well as being a more reliable and honest insight into who a person is.
Anyone can say ‘I love you’, only a true lover can- by way of the totality of their actions, the subtle nuances and ‘absentminded’ backhanded comments and actions- convey to their beloved the truth of their love. Anyone can be inspired to a ‘fit of contrived effort and behavior’ but only someone who is truly refined and good can, inadvertently, be an inspiration and model of goodness to those around them. Famously, hockey analysts say that what separates a professional goalie from an amateur is not their ability to block the shots they do see, but the percentage of the shots they block that they don’t see.
This is the true measure of a person and therefore the real signals that we are sensitive to in reading those around us. The lesson that the Torah is teaching us is that it was very important for Avraham to run ‘from the entrance of his tent’ specifically, and precisely. Why? Because if he had started walking and then only ran afterwards, his guests would wonder if this was a contrived, forced action and not instinctual. Now, one can wonder why another’s actions are not instinctual, but what is certain is that now the recipient is left wondering as to why the instant interest and excitement was not there and the act of kindness is now not as complete as it could have been.
This lesson is so important and such a foundational depiction of what true ‘goodness’ is, that it was absolutely necessary for the Torah to add this extra nuance of Avraham’s behavior as a model for all time. The awesome sensitivities of people necessitates such care and perfection of character and behavior that only truly righteous people following in the ways of the Torah can strive for.
Chinuch Lesson
How important it is for us, as parents and educators, to model the lofty and uplifted ways of the Torah for our children and students. By modeling, particularly when it comes to the actions that are directed towards the children and students themselves, the utmost sensitivity and wisdom of the way of life of the Torah, we will inspire them to want to be uplifted and ‘noble’ themselves. And by expressing these values through the nuances and subtleties of our behavior- through the inadvertent expressions that we express to them- we will have a much more powerful impact and be a truer indication to them as to what we really believe and value.
How is one to go about doing this? Through personal growth and only through personal growth. A leader- parents, teachers, etc.- must be constantly striving for growth, personally, in a way which will ‘spill over’ to those whom they are leading. The classic depiction amongst the ethical masters of Judaism is that of a cup of wine which by filling up and overflowing gives forth bounty to all of the cups around it.
And this is the only way one can actually teach those around them, for as Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said: “Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
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