CHILDREN & FAMILIES FIRST

KEEPING OUR PROMISE TO YOU

June 2022


If the goal behind "toughen up" is to show strength and resilience,

we're doing it wrong.


Mental health is indisputably tied to physical health. Yet research proves, men are less likely to seek help - carrying levels of stress that negatively impact their immediate and long-term health. The statistics are alarming: 1 in 5 men develop alcohol dependency, and suicide is the second most common cause of death for every age group of men 10 through 39.(1)  Add the unique stressors faced by men of color to the existing stigmas, and it’s no wonder men of color are at an even higher risk for isolation and mental health problems.


Guided by brain science research, Children & Families First knows open communication and responsive, caring interactions are vital components to overall health and well-being. (2)  When individuals thrive, our whole community benefits.


Let's celebrate Men's Health Month by openly recognizing and normalizing, seeking and accepting support ARE actions of strength and resilience.


Here are five great tips for shifting the mindset on men's mental health:


Words Matter.

Phrases like "man up," "toughen up," and "don't cry like girl" create the biggest barriers to help-seeking by associating it with weakness. Having emotions is a normal human experience that deserves respect. Regardless of our individual gender identities, we need to be mindful about what we say and how it impacts others. 


Pay Attention.

For men who have a hard time talking about their emotions, changes in mood or behavior are good indicators of an underlying problem. Saying, "I noticed you're really tired lately and I'm worried about you," shows your concern without judgement creating a safe space to open deeper communications. 


Share Openly.

Dismantling stereotypes begins with normalizing experiences. We're more likely to share that we sought help for diabetes or hypertension than we are mental health and that needs to change. By openly sharing your own experience you not only normalize the subject of mental health, you help the other person feel safe and understood.


Acknowledge Difficult Situations.

There will be times when we're aware of difficult situations like a death in the family, divorce, or loss of employment. Directly addressing the situation in a respectful, open ended manner, offering your willingness to listen, opens the door to conversations the other person may have felt too uncomfortable or embarrassed to bring up first. 


Ask Again.

Many of us will admit the common response of "I'm fine," when asked about our well-being. For men, the stigma that they should not be a burden or ask for help weighs in heavily. A follow-up, "No really, how are you? I care about you," is an effective way to show you truly are interested and willing to listen.


COMING NEXT MONTH!  National Make a Difference to Children Month


  1. National Institute of Mental Health
  2. Harvard Center for the Developing Child

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Engaging Our Values: Click HERE for our latest edition of Kaleidoscope, a monthly newsletter from CFF's EDI Committee to provide education and resources, advancing equity, diversity, and inclusion.

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