A publication of the Howard County Office of Children and Families Family Institute December 2021

Nothing I Do Works: A Parent’s Guide to Challenging Behaviors   The Pyramid Model, a comprehensive, research-based approach that considers all factors that impact a child, family and a child's behavior. Learn how to help decrease negative behaviors from happening and what to do when they occur. Ask questions and leave with techniques and resources that you can use immediately to help you feel more confident in your parenting skills. For children ages two to eight. Wednesday, December 8 / 7:00 to 8:00 p.m. / Free Virtual Workshop / Register ¡El poder del juego! (The Power of Play)  ¿Alguna vez se ha preguntado qué está haciendo realmente su hijo mientras juega? ¿Qué significa cuando dicen que los niños aprenden a través del juego? En palabras de Albert Einstein, "el juego es la forma más elevada de investigación". Sumérjase en la mente del niño pequeño en este atractivo taller que proporcionará información sobre por qué los niños deben jugar, cómo el juego afecta el desarrollo infantil y aprenda cómo debería ser el juego.  Martes 14 de Diciembre / a las 7:00 p.m. / Este evento es virtual / regístrense

Managing Family Stress During the Holidays  While the holiday season is a joyous time of year, the reality is that between family gatherings, holiday events, cooking, and gift shopping, the holidays can also be overwhelming. Here are some tips that may help lessen or alleviate stress during the holiday season.    Manage your own stress. It’s challenging to be there for others when you are feeling stressed. Don’t stretch yourself too thin trying to create the “perfect” holiday. Set aside time for self-care; even a few minutes of “me time” can go a long way.    Set realistic expectations for your child. Considering your child’s needs when you make plans will reduce stress for everyone. A child who is anxious about meeting new people will need support, while a high-energy child may need more structure in their routine to minimize disruptive behavior.     Movement is important. Cold weather inspires cozy scenes of curling up with a cup of hot cocoa and watching a movie or reading a favorite book. However, it is important to stay active. Bundle up and take a family walk to observe and discuss seasonal changes in nature. If it is too chilly to go outside, try an indoor activity. Yoga is a form of exercise suitable for the whole family. Swimming is another good option; to find an indoor pool in Howard County, check out Howard County Recreation and Parks  or the Columbia Association for more information.      Prepare your child for changes in their routine. Children thrive on predictable routines and preparing them for changes to their routine will help avoid meltdowns. If traveling, bring along books and toys your child is familiar with to help keep them settled.     Try to keep a regular sleep and meal schedule. Though it may be tempting to let your child stay up late during the holidays, keeping sleep schedules predictable helps your child function better. Try to stay within an hour of usual bedtimes (exceptions can be made for special occasions like New Year’s Eve). The same goes for mealtimes; provide three meals per day plus snacks and eat as a family whenever possible.    Limit screen time. Placing limits on screen time can be beneficial for the entire household. Excessive amounts of screen time can cause numerous health concerns for children and adults. The Mayo Clinic outlines some of the health concerns caused by screen time here.       Create family holiday traditions together. Traditions may look different for every family. Talk to your child about which traditions they enjoy and be open to adding new ones or modifying existing ones. The important thing is to make them fun and memorable for your family.

Child Passenger Safety Seat Guidelines The holidays are upon us and many families will be traveling by car this season. Whether you’re an expectant parent or the parent of a young child, car seat safety is important. Maryland law requires a child younger than six years (regardless of weight) or 40 pounds or less (regardless of age) to be secured in a federally-approved safety seat. Before starting your trip, have your child’s safety seat installed and checked. A certified Child Passenger Safety Technician can provide this service free through Safe Kids Howard County. This program, led by Howard County Fire and Rescue Services, provides car seat check-ups, safety workshops and sports clinics to help prevent childhood injuries. For more information on child passenger safety, click here.

Choosing Quality Child Care   Choosing quality child care includes finding resources based on the needs of your family. There are many options to consider when choosing a quality child care program, including location, cost, type of program, accreditation, and most importantly, your child’s needs. Based on income, you may qualify for a child care scholarship or other financial assistance.  There are many options to consider: family child care, child care centers, preschools, infant programs, and nursery schools. When considering the type of program that works for your family, keep in mind how your child would respond, grow and develop within that environment. Once you consider these factors, begin visiting and interviewing programs. Take advantage of the annual Child Care Fair presented by the Howard County Office of Children and Families in January 2022. This free event offers parents the opportunity to meet with a variety of programs to find what best suits their family. Parents will also have a chance to attend an informational session on “How to Choose an Early Childhood Program.”  You may also view the video "What is High Quality Child Care" for more information.

Child Care Resources

The CARE Line, a free information and referral service offered by the Office of Children and Families, connects parents and caregivers to child care resources.

The Parent’s Guide to Howard County includes resources for families, and comprehensive listings of child care and preschool programs. The 2022 Parent's Guide will be launched at the Howard County Child Care Fair.

LOCATE: Child Care , a free statewide telephone referral service, helps parents identify and choose child care that best meets their individual needs. LOCATE: Child Care maintains a database of all regulated center-based care facilities, family child care, nursery schools, pre-kindergarten, kindergarten, and Head Start programs.  The Howard County Family Child Care Association (HCFCCA) is a resource for finding quality child care, and offers a Parent Message Line for those who are interested in family child care only. Parents can leave a message indicating the age of their child, the area where care is needed and their scheduled preference. A member of HCFCCA will contact the parents to help them in their search.

Child Care Scholarship  These days, child care is a major expense, and you may need financial assistance to help with the cost of care. If you are working, in school, or participating in an approved training program, you may be eligible for the Child Care Scholarship Program. The Child Care Scholarship (formerly child care subsidy) provides financial assistance with child care costs to eligible working families in Maryland. For instance, a family of four with an income of $71,525 may be eligible for the program, which is managed through Child Care Subsidy Central (CCS Central).  For more information and an application, click here.

CARE Center  If your child is experiencing behavior concerns at school or exhibiting aggression, tantrums, non-compliance, or socially-withdrawn behaviors, we can help. Howard County Office of Children and Families offers free services for children birth to age five through the CARE Center. Care Center staff work with schools, child care centers and home providers, using observation, one-on-one teacher coaching, materials and resources and parent training to address concerns. For more information, call 410-313-CARE (2273).

Understanding How the Young Child Learns: Preschool Ages Three to Five  For a young child, learning means hands-on experiences, practice, and the ability to explore the world around them. It is not uncommon for a young child to focus or fixate solely on one thing for a period of time. While this might seem concerning for parents, it is a finite period and children typically move on to other things. As you read through the following points, understand that children are applying important skills that they will be able to utilize later in life. Children ages three to five have an intrinsic desire to understand and explore their environment  Recognize that learning affects the whole child and not just one domain of cognitive, language, social, or motor development  Children can be very literal in their thinking and problem-solving  Children learn best when they are interested in the subject   Real world experiences provide for the most effective learning  Young children learn from their interactions with adults and others  A parent is still a child's most influential teacher  A parent should create a safe space for a child to explore without feeling judged  Children need to feel safe emotionally and physically  A parent is the child’s safety net for them to become independent learners  A pre-kindergartener should learn how to make choices through practice to become self-reliant  You are the most important teacher your child will ever have; engage with them, view the world through their eyes, and above all, have fun.

Help Your Child Get Emotional Support at School  Asking for help isn’t an easy task, especially for children who need emotional support, even more so at school. They may not know whom to reach out to or what to ask. Understood provides tips to help children learn to advocate for themselves and meet their emotional needs. Identifying emotional trouble spots is an important step and may include:  Comparing themselves to others  Feeling left out of social circles  Bullying  Helping your child get the support they need is a multi-step process. As a parent, you can set the stage for success by contacting the school and informing them that your child may reach out. Identify key people who are willing to help. Talk with your child about who they see as a resource and are comfortable approaching. Anticipate roadblocks that may prevent your child from getting the support they need, and check in with your child to see how things are progressing. Offer continued support and build a support network that encourages your child to advocate for themselves. For more information, click here.

Will an ADHD Diagnosis Saddle My Child with Stigma?  There seems to be a natural fear for parents to hear the words "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)" in a diagnosis or as a possibility. You may worry about your child being labeled and hesitant about getting an evaluation.  ADDitude has looked at misconceptions and stereotypes as well as addressed common diagnosis concerns:  I don’t want people to stereotype my child. By trying to hide your child’s diagnosis, you’re feeding into the stigma that something is wrong with your child. Teachers will automatically think my child is a troublemaker. With a diagnosis, teachers are actually better able to make the accommodations your child may need.  Doctors and teachers will force my child to take medication. We don’t want to use mind altering meds. No one can force your child to take ADHD medication; that is always up to you.   A diagnosis of ADHD provides helpful information about your child. It helps you understand what drives their behavior and have compassion for what they experience. It also means they are entitled to learning specialists who can make a difference. More importantly, it means you can become an advocate for your child.

The Roots of ADHD Motivation Problems and How to Get Students Engaged  Schoolwork troubles. Lack of motivation. Incomplete assignments. Sound familiar? ADHD is frustrating for parents and even more so for their children. Motivation is often tied to how the brain perceives challenges, not just a child’s attitude about the task. When children are in a safe environment and feel confident about their abilities, there is an increase in their successes and motivation to learn more. But what happens when a child has difficulty? Children become more engaged when teachers understand what’s behind motivation problems and can assist them. Attitude provides a definition of motivation and looks at the needs of children. It offers tips on how to increase a child’s interest in learning and create an environment in which they can succeed.

The Village The Village, a program of Thrive Emerge, helps teens and young adults with ADHD, Asperger’s and other neurodiverse issues succeed in the transition to adulthood. The peer-based community equips young adults with the emotional, academic, social, and employment skills they need for successful independent living. The Village also offers opportunities to practice and perfect these skills to achieve long-term success.

Should Kids Take Mental Health Days? When Taking a Break Is or Isn't Helpful We all need a break sometimes. Time to rest, recharge and take care of ourselves is critical. Kids are no exception, but it can be difficult to know when allowing a mental health day is the right decision. Will it leave a child who was already struggling further behind? If you allow one mental health day, will kids start begging to stay home on a regular basis? Child Mind Institute provides tips on when you should and shouldn’t let kids take a day off. When your child asks to stay home, have a talk about why. Are they feeling sad, overwhelmed or did something go wrong at school? Once you know more details, you’ll be able to determine if a day off is the best solution. Mental health days should not be used to avoid an assignment or problem at school but, if your child has finished a big project and needs some down time, it may be appropriate to take a mental health day. If you allow a mental health day, help your child make it meaningful by doing things that benefit and protect their mental health. This should not be a day for catching up on outstanding assignments or using social media. Some mental health day activities may include:  Taking a walk  Calm, creative pursuits such as drawing, painting or other calming activities  Reading or listening to music  For more tips on making the most of a mental health day, click here.  Spanish

How or When to Apologize   Show your child how to take responsibility for their actions and how to forgive someone by apologizing when you make a mistake. A child learns through experiences, and offering a sincere apology can make a difference. When apologizing to your child, explain why you reacted the way you did and what was inappropriate about how you acted. Show empathy for your child’s feelings if they became mad, upset, sad, or scared.   For example: “I am sorry for getting upset when you spilled your milk. I was frustrated because it created a big mess. I understand it was an accident and I know I made you sad by being angry. I will remember that messes can be cleaned up and wiped away. Can you forgive me?”  To learn more about why you should apologize to your child and ways to do it click here.

Social/Emotional Well-Being  Saturday, December 11 / 9:00 to 10:30 a.m.  Free Virtual Event  The Council of Elders Community Academy and the Howard County Public School System are sponsoring a workshop for families of elementary, middle and high school students. The objective of the workshop is to help families identify behaviors that affect a child’s social/emotional well-being and strategies to discuss suicide prevention and mental health awareness.

Family Support and Resource Center  The Family Support and Resource Center of the Howard County Public School System helps families advocate for children with disabilities. Services include workshops for parents, assistance with Individual Education Plans (IEP) and Individual Family Service Plans (IFSP), a lending library, facilitation of parent groups and community resources. For more information, click here.    Alternatives to Guardianship  Tuesday, December 14 / 4:00 to 5:00 p.m.  Free Virtual Event  Disability Rights Maryland will present information on supported decision-making and other alternatives to guardianship. This event is part of a series of information and training sessions about special education for families of students with IEPs and IFSPs, presented by the Howard County Public School System. Register here.

Howard County Library System During December, help Howard County Library System (HCLS) add to their mitten trees. Each HCLS branch will be collecting new child- sized mittens, hats and scarves. In the new year, these items will be donated to Community Action Council of Howard County. Tickets required for the following mitten tree activities: Warm Hands, Warm Hearts: Mitten Tree Kickoff  All ages / 30 minutes / Central Branch / Saturday, December 4, and Monday, December 6 / 10:15 and 11:30 a.m.  Stories, songs and activities for children and adults.     Hats, Mittens, Scarves, and Boots: Mitten Tree Kickoff  Ages infant-23 months with adult / 20-30 minutes / Central Branch Monday, December 6 / 6:30 p.m. and Tuesday, December 7 / 10:15 and 11:30 a.m.  Stories, baby games and musical activities.    A Mitten Evening  Ages 6 -11 / 60 minutes / Miller Branch / Wednesday, December 8 / 7:00 p.m.  Explore the story of The Mitten by Jan Brett with creative activities and storytelling.    To find additional classes online and in the library, click here.

Let’s Make Art  Art can help kids express their feelings and can teach them so much, even science and math! Some children love to create art, but others may find it intimidating and very messy. However they may feel, there are fun and simple ways to make art with kids.   Cut paper – Take scraps from newspapers, magazines, tissue paper or construction paper and help your child create a collage. Using scissors can help them develop fine motor skills. You might also talk about angles, shapes and texture.  Nature art - Take a walk around your neighborhood to collect leaves, twigs, flowers, and grass. Use the objects you find, plus paper and glue, to make a natural art masterpiece! While you’re creating, sneak in some science and nature talk!  “Thank you” art - Gather construction paper or simple printer paper. With your child, fold each in half, then in half again. Now write and decorate “Thank you” on the front of each, leaving the inside blank to customize later.  For more ideas, watch this video to create shape art together.

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