Who and What are leading you?
Is your Ego (aka wounded or made-up-to-survive-and-fit-in personality self)
Or is your Soul (aka authentic Self or Essence - what you were born as) leading you in your life?
Our world is filled with incessant ego-based messages to buy this, do this, be this, try this daily. The sales industry markets directly to the not-enough self, also known as our wounded ego. Not only does the ego continually feel inadequate (or over-inflated -also rooted in inadequacy), but it is never satisfied. So no matter what you sign up for - 2 inch eyelashes, face lifts, the next fad diet, a 4,000 square foot home, the big promotion, hot girlfriends...
it will always want More. Bigger. Better. Faster. Special. New.
This is because the ego is not who we are.
It is an image of who we think we should be to be liked
(happy, skinny, rich, pretty, superior, etc.). It is an illusion.
And illusions can never be fulfilled.
The ego is impatient, impulsive and demanding - thinking time is limited
and that it and its never-ending desires are most important.
The soul is patient, inclusive and allowing - knowing time is eternal (now)
and that Presence and the greater good for all is what matters.
Outer illusion fuels the ego.
Inner reality fuels the Soul.
Fear feeds and grows the ego.
Love awakens and expands the Soul.
Past & Future inform the ego.
Presence informs the Soul.
The challenging part of Earth School is that most of us identify and attach to the ego's view of itself and the world early on. I believe the ego comes in full-force by around age 7 or 8. It is a necessary part of our development and spiritual curriculum here. It serves a purpose.
I'm not a fan of trendy 'kill the ego' sentiments. In my experience, when I tried to get rid of my ego, it grew sneakier and became more destructive. At some point on my journey (thank God), I began to befriend my ego. This was a game-changer. I refer to my ego as my personality, conditioned self or conscious self. This part has valuable insights and ideas to share.
Mine makes lists, likes to be productive, and it gets shit done.
My ego (personality/mind) is a vital part of Team Teri Jo.
My heart (inner child, essence) and Soul (Higher Self, Spirit) are
parts of this team too, or what I call my inner family.
I think of it as the inner Holy Trinity.
(I taught classes about this called the Inner Trio Connection)
We have conferences (out loud) often.
We get to fumble and fail, and try again.
We get to learn and grow and be uncomfortable.
We get to laugh and cry and get angry about things.
And, my Soul leads the way.
With infinite Love, Patience and Presence.
It took years of inner work to get to this place of inner cooperation.
Here are 7 keys insights I found along the way:
1) Witness yourself as neutrally as you can - this means without judgement, harsh thoughts or words. Learn how to be the witness (this is the Soul).
2) Use everything for your learning, growth and expansion.
What if everything is happening FOR YOU... for you to awaken to
the truth of what you are - a Soul having this human experience.
3) Be kind, gentle, patient and compassionate with yourself.
It's popular to hear 'Love Yourself' these days. I think this idea can feel overwhelming, especially since we were often raised by adults who didn't demonstrate the best self-care or boundaries, and we have collectively glorified ideas like self-sacrificing and self-loathing. To keep it simple, begin treating yourself like a tender beloved child who is continually learning
and growing... because this is the truth.
4) Begin to feel again, especially the mushy soft sad parts. Welcome these feelings and the tender parts of you will begin to trust you more.
5) Forgive your judgments of everything and everyone. Note that I said forgive your judgments, not forgive behaviors and experiences. We get into deep do-do ego-land whenever we stand in judgment of ourselves and others.
There is a righteousness in judgment which builds the ego even stronger.
The Soul does not judge. It learns and expands in its nature, Love.
6) Spend time with the pure essence of people (easiest around babies, children, animals), places (beaches, parks, backyards, sanctuaries),
and experiences (meditation, prayer, rituals, acts of service).
Allow yourself to simply be present in these experiences.
It will support you in remembering your own preciousness.
7) Find Quiet. As a new kindergarten teacher back in the day, I needed absolute quiet after school. This quickly became important before school too.
I preferred little-to-no noise from 3pm until like 8am the next morning, LOL.
In this process, I let go of using background noise (TV, radio, crowds) for 'company.' This was one of the best gifts I have ever given myself because in this quiet space, I started hearing the whispers of my heart and soul.
For 20+ years now I've been living background-noise free.
My inner station is tuned into K-Love all the time ;)
Whew, this was a lot to read. I could write a whole book about this yummy stuff. And there is more below (check out the videos!).
I'll close sharing three HIGHLY RECOMMENDED books on this topic
(all are available on Audible. My ego prefers listening over reading):
And of course, I LOVE YOU!
Teri Jo
