Assertive Engagement Newsletter

January 2023

Happy New Year everyone, we hope that 2023 has been kind to you so far!

We thought our first newsletter of the year would provide an excellent opportunity to check in with you all and see how those New Year resolutions/intentions are coming along.

My goal this year was to leave the snooze button behind and start my day earlier, the first time my alarm goes off. Let's just say I'm still working on it! I recognize that changing a habit is going to take some practice, and falling back into a pattern of pushing that snooze button is part of the process.

I've been thinking a lot about self-compassion and am working on being kind and forgiving with myself when I hit the snooze. In the past, I may have engaged in some negative self talk as I snuggled in for a little more sleep; I'm working on accepting the fact that I won't get it right every time, and that I have an opportunity to try again tomorrow.

Instead of being hard on myself when I snooze, I celebrate the victories. Maybe I snooze once instead of three times, or maybe I only snooze twice this week instead of every morning. That's progress!

Whether you chose a resolution this year or not, and no matter the progress you've made so far, you always have an opportunity to try again. Each and every one of us can improve, and if you need a few more minutes of rest before you starting again, that's okay, too.

The Assertive Engagement Team,

- Helen & Rhea

"I became more courageous by doing the very things I needed to be courageous for-first, a little, and badly. Then, bit by bit, more and better. Being avidly-sometimes annoy-ingly-curious and persistent about discovering how others were doing what I wanted to do."

Audre Lorde

Growth Mindset

When we talk about a Growth Mindset in Assertive Engagement, we mean that anyone has the capacity to grow and improve in an area with the right effort, strategy, and support.

We compare a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset to illustrate the differences. With a fixed mindset you feel like you are either good at something or you're not. With a growth mindset you feel like you can learn or improve at anything.

In a fixed mindset if you fail, you're a failure. A growth mindset looks at failure as an opportunity to learn.

With a fixed mindset you don't want to be challenged, things you are good at should be easy. With a growth mindset you understand that learning and improving at things will be challenging and that is part of the process.

With the fixed mindset, feedback feels like criticism and is unwanted and taken personally. If you have a growth mindset you seek constructive criticism as welcome feedback you can use to learn and improve.

These are just a few of the differences between a growth mindset and fixed mindset, but it's worth noting we are not always one or the other. We can have a fixed mindset in some areas (for example, "I'm just not good at organization") and a growth mindset in other areas (for example, "I'm an adventurous cook, I'll try any recipe until I get it right").

The important thing to remember when we start trying or learning something new, is we will make mistakes and it may not go well - and that is a perfectly normal part of the process! It is through those mistakes that we gain the knowledge needed for improvement.

Growth Mindset Activity

Here is an activity you can do to think about how you became good at something in your past, and how you can apply those lessons to something you want to improve or grow in now.

On a piece of paper, draw four boxes. In the first three boxes, identify three things you are already good at. We all have something! Maybe it's being a good friend, cooking, art, dance, staying organized, playing soccer, anything you feel you're good at. You don't have to be at a professional level, but you feel confident about your skills in this area.

Underneath the things you have chosen, number 1-3 and write down three things you did to get good at those things. Most of the things we feel we do well didn't start that way. Think about when you first started, what did you do wrong? Who helped you or how did you help yourself? How did you persist until you improved?

Now let's look at the final box on your page. In that box, write down something you want to learn or improve upon. It could be something you've never tried, or it could be something you have tried but you don't feel very confident about your skills yet. Once you have that down, think of 4-5 things you can do to improve. What are the efforts, strategies and supports you need to start or get better?

I’m good at:_____________

How I got good:

I’m good at:_____________

How I got good:

I’m good at:_____________

How I got good:

I’d like to improve at:_____________

How I will improve:

Source: Institute For Youth Success at Education Northwest

We love to hear success stories! If you've done this exercise in an AE training, or try it now and improve on your goal, we would love to know!

Email us at aeinfo@multco.us.

Additional Resources

Self-Compassion Podcast

Spend the better part of an hour with Dr. Kristin Neff and Shankar Vedantam as they explore how she began her research into self-compassion and the benefits of being kind to yourself.

Hidden Brain: Being Kind to Yourself

Intro to Growth Mindset

Still unsure about the difference between a Fixed and Growth Mindset? This brief You Tube video should clear things up!

Join our Team!

The Joint Office of Homeless Services (JOHS) is hiring for an AE Trainer who will collaborate with us to expand our AE training capacity.

Don't delay, the position posting closes January 27th.

Assertive Engagement Program Specialist Job Posting

An illustration with three people. The person on the left has brown skin, short dark hair in a bob cut, yellow overalls and orange shirt and is looking off in the distance holding a magnifying lens. The person in the center has tan skin, a dark green dress, white bun and is looking straight ahead through binoculars. The erson on the right has light skin, yellow shirt and orange pants and short brown hair and is looking off into the distance with a hand to their brow.

Question of the Month

What is something you used to think you were bad at, but now feel confident in your abilities to do?

January Poll

Where do you usually start when you want to improve at something?

Choose one:

Books

Social Media

Talk with a friend who is good at that thing

Phone App

Google/You Tube

Just start practicing!

December Poll Results!

Thank you to everyone who responded with ways to spend some grateful and/or mindful minutes!

Looks like folks planned to be mindful in action and while sitting still! The two most popular choices for mindful practice were taking a walk and sitting quietly for 5 minutes and noticing your breathing.

Others planned to write down 5 things they are grateful for and take a dance break.