Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!
“Only when we face our fears, do we begin to live.”
What are you afraid of?
It’s a question that invites a lot of answers on many different levels. One person may be afraid of heights; another of spiders or snakes. Some people are nervous in crowds or close spaces.
Go deeper:
What are you really afraid of in your life? Is it failure? Are you afraid of making a mistake or appearing foolish to others? Are you afraid of rejection? Are you afraid that you will let others down?
These inner fears link us to our survival strategies. We equate these fears with death, and so we do anything to combat them. For example, how many times have you heard someone say: “Oh, I could never take that risk. I’d die!” Or, “If I don’t get this new client to sign the contract, my boss will kill me!”
You may think these are only common, everyday expressions, but your subconscious takes them literally. Your physical body’s job is to say alive. When it perceives any form of threat (your fears) it automatically goes into a physical reaction to save you.
And so the person who is afraid of taking a risk is convinced she’ll die (figuratively) and adrenaline pumps through her body (literally) so she can fight or flee. Or, because he thinks his life depends on the client contract, his body will interpret his fear as a threat to his life and can automatically drive him to do whatever it takes (including disregarding his values) to survive. That’s when he might do anything (possibly something unethical) in order to get it signed.
What if you could face your fears for what they are: self-sabotaging beliefs that cause you to adopt limiting survival behaviors? When fearful, ask yourself, “Am I going to really die or seriously get physically hurt?”
If yes, then listen to your fear. If no, then that’s a fear you need to move through. Doing so will help you learn and grow as a person. It’s how you gain control over your life.
Instead of taking the fear as fact, you become more discerning. You tell yourself: taking risks is not a natural skill for me. I could benefit from some coaching in this area. Or, I am concerned about the new client contract and could use some feedback and advice from my boss or a senior colleague.
When we keep fears from running our lives, we have access to more of ourselves. We can think more clearly because our brain isn’t on the autopilot of fight-or-flight. We can drop our defenses and reach out for help. We become empowered and our actions reflect greater confidence.
The irony is by not giving into our fears, we become more of who we really are: capable, intelligent, and resourceful. And what we feared—the risk that produces failure and embarrassment, the loss of the client project—is far less likely to materialize.
