For the last 17 years I have worked with leaders across industry, profession, and business model to lead themselves and others with confidence. No matter the audience, I hear this all too often: “The hardest part of my job is having tough conversations.”

But that is why you are the leader! 

You are in a role that requires you to find the courage to initiate and have conversations that other people would avoid. Leaders initiate and do what everyone else lacks the courage to do and, in this case, that means digging deep and addressing the elephant in the room.

This month we have focused our weekly email on the issue of courage. Let’s talk about having courageous conversations. 

Christine and I have noticed a number of social media posts over the last few weeks about coming back to the office after more than a year of work from home. Company leadership is making unilateral decisions to return to the office, while ignoring the fact that most of the workforce prefers work from home (whether that is full time or a hybrid approach.) 

From a recent article on CNET: “Harvard Business School has found 81% of people who have been working from home through the COVID-19 pandemic either don't want to go back or prefer a hybrid schedule. Of the 1,500 remote workers surveyed for the study, 27% hope to continue working remotely full time indefinitely, while 61% would prefer to mix working from home with going into the office two or three days a week.” 

On the flipside, Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon said at a Credit Suisse Group AG conference in February. “It’s an aberration that we are going to correct as quickly as possible.” 

Is it just me or does this reek of “It’s my way or the highway”?

Workers like working from home. 

Many leaders do not like work from home for their people  (and if you scratch beneath the surface you will find many still operate under the guise that work from home is less productive and efficient. Like it or not, many leaders want to SEE the work being done because they fear that workers will take advantage of the company and waste time.)

That is the makings of a tough conversation. 

It is a topic like this one that offers an invitation to leaders to have a courageous conversation and focus on listening as much as talking. What would it look like to “risk” having this conversation with your people and truly seeking a solution that meets both the needs of leadership and those of your employees? 

Many times I have heard people complain that “no one listens to us.” 

In a memorable Facebook post from years ago, I recall a woman, who works in a university, posting: “Spent hours putting forward our team’s position on the issue only to have leadership do exactly what they planned on doing in the first place. Talk about a giant waste of my time and energy.” 

In this case, leadership pretended to engage in conversation when the reality is their mind was already made up (and just imagine how demotivating this was for this woman's team.)

That feeling that leadership is going to do what they want anyway is persistent. 

This needs to change.

You can change it.

Find the courage to have the conversation.

“But how Libby? I loathe conflict!”

Yeah, me too. I get it, but your job as the leader is do the hard stuff, and that includes having hard conversations. 

While I cannot offer a master class in courageous conversation through email, what I can do is give you a framework for how you think about having a hard conversation.

  • Define your INTENTION. If you do not intend to truly listen and be collaborative in decision making, then don’t have the conversation. People may not consciously process your intention but they FEEL it through your nonverbal communication. In a courageous conversation, intention would look like, “I am going to listen more than I talk. I will stay curious and out of judgment. I seek common ground and will use what I learn to make a decision. I haven’t already made up my mind."

  • Be clear about what INTEGRITY looks like. What will you tolerate of yourself and others in this conversation? How will you maintain the highest standards of communication start to finish? This might look like, “I will not be abusive in my communication. I will be civil and respectful at all times. I won’t interrupt the other person. I will not have a hidden agenda. I will not use curse words or attack the character of the other person.” 

  • Consider the IMPACT of your decision. As a leader, you are often in the power position and that means your impact affects a lot of people who are counting on you to do the right thing. The truth is, many leaders only consider the impact to the bottom line and completely ignore the HUMAN impact of their decisions. A confident leader accounts for both. 

Learning how to be courageous in conversation takes practice. You won’t get it right every time, but every time you will get better at it. Here are a few recommendations to follow up with on this topic:


  • Read Susan Scott’s game changing book on how to have thoughtful conversations: “Fierce Leadership” (I cannot recommend this more, it has been a game changer in my life.)


I know that being courageous in your leadership is a challenge, but I assure you that it is worth it. Learning how to address challenges and issues that arise instead of crossing your fingers and hoping it all works out is a much better long term strategy. 

Let’s pursue courage in our leadership. The world needs more of it. 

Libby

What's on your mind this week?

Reply to this email or hop on over to your favorite social media channels and tell us — What's on your mind this week?
C Factor Community | www.cfactorcommunity.com