CVI Calendar & Newsletter June 2021

Chesapeake Voyagers, Inc.

News & Updates

" Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." ~Nelson Mandela

Welcome to our CVI Newsletter! We hope to use this as another way to engage with you! We may not completely back to "normal", but we are always here for you when you need us!

Please know you can reach out to us through our warmline at 410-822-1601 Monday-Friday from 10am-6pm. This is manned by our Peer Support Specialists and is a way for you to connect to share your thoughts and struggles with someone who will listen and who cares.

Have something you would like to see included next month? Would you like to include your own story of your recovery journey? Let us know by reaching out to our Program Coordinator, Avra Sullivan at asullivan@chesapeakevoyagers.org or call 410-822-1601

Join our Online groups!

We currently offer two online support groups to connect with others! Click below to be taken directly to the group you wish to join. All are welcome and you may join by computer or phone.

Overcoming Depression and Anxiety Recovery Group - Mondays @ 4:00pm

A peer led group with topics pertaining to depression and anxiety. A safe place to share your feelings, struggles and success with others

Dealing With Loss Support Group - Fridays @ 1:00pm

Learn ways to cope and deal with loss, be it from death, broken relationships or life circumstances

This is ME:

Kimberley McMullen

"We can recover, and we do."

I grew up in Baltimore in an abusive home with my mother, her gay partner, and my twin brother. My mom was raised very strictly. Her mother (my grandmother) did not raise her as she was committed to Spring Grove, a mental hospital on the Western Shore. Her marriage to my father, who was an abusive alcoholic, ended after two years. Growing up in a home with a gay parent in the 1970s was very difficult. I myself did not know she was gay until I was 12 years of age. Twelve years old was a hard time in my childhood. This is when I finally told my mother I had been molested for years and raped by the man who lived in our basement. This person, whom I will not name, was a family member. Despite this turmoil, my one rock was my brother Jimmy. Through our abusive upbringing, we were all each other had, having no other siblings.

My brother and I left at the age of 16 and finished high school, graduating with honors. I had always loved school and was an extremely good student. I supported myself by working two jobs until I graduated in 1982, by which time I had started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I smoked marijuana a few times not really liking the feeling and tried beer which I hated the taste. I moved in with my first serious relationship, “playing house”, thinking like most young women, it would last forever. Of course, it did not, but it was a 5-year relationship. During this time, I tried cocaine for the first time. I instantly felt no pain and felt completely fixed. Throughout my entire childhood, I always felt unworthy, like something was wrong with me. Through all the abuse, I stuffed away the pain and anger I felt, never really dealing with it.

In the midst of this, I rented my first home and the three of us moved in together. My brother worked two jobs and I worked three. I remember my brother getting me high on weekends; I thought if it was just the weekend it would be OK. As time went on, it became more frequent. Of course, I never thought about becoming addicted. The word addiction never entered my mind.

My life was full of dysfunction and abusive relationships continued for many years. My choices started to have consequences. I would lose employment because every day I was 5 or 10 minutes late. I would find another great job right away, keeping me from looking at the problem. After getting out of an abusive 8-year relationship, that I surely knew would end up with me in prison or him killing me, I settled into my own apartment. Later I met a man and got engaged and conceived our first son that same night. We were married in April and six weeks later I received a phone call after a long day of furniture shopping from a friend stating to go straight to my mother’s. It was about my twin brother Jimmy. Of course, I thought he was arrested and was angry. My brother not only used drugs often but by the age of 30, had several DWI’s and lost his license. The day before he stayed at my apartment and we had the best day, just brother and sister. Looking back, I know GOD gave me that day. The news my mother so desperately was trying to tell me was that my brother was found dead behind a neighborhood bar in Baltimore. This was the beginning of my end. Before I got married, I had stopped using any substances and was a “leave it to beaver” wife and mother. My brother’s death destroyed my life as I knew it. With the lack of any coping skills or a real support system, my life spiraled out of control. After the first year (a blur of nothing but pain and Xanax to numb the pain) I moved to the Eastern Shore where my husband was from. Being in so much pain, I remember he would say “I don’t know how to help you”. Within the first two weeks, I received my first DWI and it progressed from there. I soon found where my drug of choice was and for 20 years, I ran in circles up and down with cycles of in recovery and relapses. I just couldn’t get out of my way and no one understood. Attending IOP and several inpatient rehabs only helped for a while. I had a homegroup and a sponsor but didn’t get it. I would get clean for a period then relapse. I heard the slogan people, places, and things but I had to do it my way. I held on to those two or three so-called friends. Yes, they got me high before I got them clean. During these 20 years of destruction I lost my children for 7 months, and ended up homeless twice; I was raped as an adult, putting myself in horrible situations; I was in and out of county jail; I contemplated suicide and saw different psychiatrists and therapists who gave diagnoses that changed through the years. I later discovered that you can not have a proper diagnosis without being clean because addiction and behavioral health issues can mimic themselves. Women’s Correctional Institute in Jessup, Maryland was my last stop. I kept thinking the judge is going to let me out anytime, he was only scaring me. Well, two months went by and those gates were still closed. It hit me like a thunderbolt. “OMG, what have I done?” At that very moment, it was so clear: I was responsible for all this. My choices got me here and this is because of ME… it was like the clouds parted. I was getting out of my own way. FINALLY understanding what that meant made sense of it all. At that very moment, I never looked back. I took every class I could while in Jessup. After serving a total of 30 months, I made parole and was released to home detention. While on home detention in Baltimore City I went to Baltimore City Community College for Addiction and Behavioral health and received the Super Achievement Award, the first-ever in Baltimore’s home detention unit. Then, I was released to go home.

Once home I enrolled into Chesapeake College to continue my education and graduated in 2019 with honors with my certification and degree in Addiction and Behavior Counseling. Years ago, I heard about Peer Support from a mentor of mine, Tom R. Once graduation from Chesapeake was over, I heard more about the trainings required to become a Peer Support Specialist, and many were free. By the Grace of GOD, I jumped right on them taking every training I could, I was like a sponge. I had a wrench thrown in the plans that delayed me jumping right into work. I had a knee replacement, but as soon as I was healthy, I was up and running. Today I have years of recovery under my belt and work as a Peer Support Specialist in Talbot County. I love my job and giving back to the community. Recovery and Peer Support changed my life. Not only am I accepted in my community, but there are no words when you can reach out and make a difference. Today it feels so great waking up to the freedom I feel. This is the only way to describe it. FREEDOM! !!! My outlook on life has changed so much since 2014. I can not express enough how grateful I am for my journey in life. No, it was not perfect but I know I had to go through what I did to get where I am. My relationships have changed in all areas of my life. I am very transparent today about who I was; I was broken, in pain, and lost. Becoming an addict was not on my list of what I wanted to grow up to become but today I am proof that “we can recover and we do”.

Coping skills I use today include sharing, and talking out my problems. I regularly see a therapist. This allows me to process what's happened and understand my part in it, in addition to looking at the other person's point of view. I also use aromatherapy for stress. Sometimes just being in a quiet place helps.

I admit I still have character defects; We are human and today I hold myself accountable. Life is not perfect. We don't live in a perfect world but recovery is so much better than living the life I was living in active addiction. Thank you Chesapeake Voyagers for allowing me to share my story with you, and for all the wonderful things you do helping others to achieve their goals in and out of addiction.

Welcome back! Last month, CVI re-opened our doors and welcomed individuals back for in-person groups and activities! It was wonderful to see faces again! With COVID numbers continuing to decline and restrictions being lifted, we have added another day to be open!

Starting in June we will be open Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 11-3 pm!

We will continue to limit the number of people who can attend at one time. and sign-up procedures will remain the same. You will need to call ahead to sign up for the day you would like to come in by calling Maria at 410-253-1720. We can provide transportation to those who need it.

Click Here for June Calendar of Events

Our phone lines will remain open Monday through Friday from 10am–6pm by calling 410-822-1601 if you need to talk or have questions about resources. Our Facebook page remains active and you can message us through that as well. We will continue to post information and updates related to COVID-19 and community resources as it becomes available.

What is Resiliency?

By Kendra Cherry

www.verywellmind.com

Dealing with change or loss is an inevitable part of life. At some point, everyone experiences varying degrees of setbacks. Some of these challenges might be relatively minor (not getting into a class you wanted to take or being turned down for a promotion at work), while others are disastrous on a much larger scale (hurricanes and terrorist attacks).

How we deal with these problems can play a significant role in not only the outcome but also the long-term psychological consequences. The good news is that there are things you can do to become more resilient.

What Is Resilience?

People who remain calm in the face of disaster have what psychologists call resilience. Resilient people are able to utilize their skills and strengths to cope and recover from problems and challenges.

Instead of falling into despair or hiding from problems with unhealthy coping strategies, resilient people face life's difficulties head-on.

This does not mean that they experience less distress, grief, or anxiety than other people do. It means that they use healthy coping skills to handle such difficulties in ways that foster strength and growth. In many cases, they may emerge even stronger than they were before.

Those who lack this resilience may instead become overwhelmed by such experiences. They may dwell on problems and use unhelpful coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges.

What Resilience Provides

Resilience does not eliminate stress or erase life's difficulties. People who possess this quality don't see life through rose-colored lenses; they understand that setbacks happen and that sometimes, life is hard and painful. They still experience the negative emotions that come after a tragedy, but their mental outlook allows them to work through these feelings and recover.

Resilience gives people the strength to tackle problems head-on, overcome adversity, and move on with their lives. In the wake of traumas such as the 9/11 attacks and the Hurricane Katrina disaster, many individuals demonstrated the behaviors that typify resilience—and they experienced fewer symptoms of depression as a result.

Even in the face of events that seem utterly unimaginable, resilience allows people to marshal the strength to not just survive but to prosper.

Who Is Resilient, and Why?

Some people come by these abilities naturally, with personality traits that help them remain unflappable in the face of challenge. However, these behaviors are not just inborn traits found in a select few. Resilience is the result of a complex series of internal and external characteristics, including genetics, physical health, mental health, and environment.

How to Build Resilience

Fortunately, resilience is something that you can build. There are distinct steps that you can take to become more resilient.

Reframe Your Thoughts

Resilient people are able to look at negative situations realistically, but in a way that doesn't center on blame or brooding over what cannot be changed. Instead of viewing adversity as insurmountable, reframe your thoughts to look for small ways that you can tackle the problem and make changes that will help.

Focusing on the positive things you can do can help get you out of a negative mindset.

This way, instead of getting stuck in a loop of negative emotions, you can learn to see these events as opportunities to challenge yourself and develop new skills.

Seek Support

Talking about the difficulties you are coping with doesn't make them go away, but sharing with a supportive friend or loved one can make you feel like you have someone in your corner, which could help you build your resilience. Discussing things with other people can also help you gain insight or even new ideas that might help you better manage the challenges you're dealing with.

Focus on What You Can Control

When faced with a crisis or problem, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by things that feel far beyond your control. Instead of wishing there was some way you could go back in time or change things, try focusing only on the things that you can directly impact. Encourage yourself to develop this skill by talking about your situation and make a plan for how you can react.

Even when the situation seems dire, taking realistic steps can help improve it. No matter how small these steps may be, they can improve your sense of control and resilience.

Manage Stress

Building healthy stress management habits is an effective way to increase your overall resilience. These habits could include behaviors that help your overall health, like getting enough sleep and exercise.

Mental Health and Addiction both have a lot of myths surrounding them. These can often lead to stigma and even discrimination. Each month, we will look at a myth and the truth behind it.

Myth: Therapy and self-help are a waste of time. Why bother when you can just take a pill?

Fact: Treatment for mental health problems varies depending on the individual and could include medication, therapy, or both. Many individuals work with a support system during the healing and recovery process.

The People's Roundtable

The People's Roundtable creates a connection between consumers and service providers so consumers know what services are available and service providers know what the consumers' needs are.

Held on the second Tuesday of every month from 3-4pm

Dial In option:

1-301-715-8592

Meeting ID: 854 6024 6082

Passcode: 058484

http://www.bitly.com/ThePeoplesRoundtable

You can register online or you can come to Chesapeake Voyagers on June 23rd from 3-7pm and see it from here!

Learn about signing up for Medicare! This national fair is for people turning 65, retiring, or joining Medicare because of a disability. There is no cost to attend.

Anyone who registers can attend all or part of this online event. You will need a computer or mobile device to participate.

Get trusted, unbiased Medicare education from the State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) national network. There will be expert SHIP presenters on Medicare eligibility, enrollment, costs, and coverage options

Visit virtual exhibits and chat with a SHIP about your individual questions.

Click here to register

When You're Ready to Quit Smoking Presentation at CVI

Join us on Thursday, June 17th from 1-2pm for an educational presentation on resources to help quit smoking!

Heather Grove, RN, BSN, is a Community Health Nurse with Caroline County Health Department and will be here to discuss the following topics:

-Facts and Myths when it comes to clients with behavioral health conditions (rather it be mental health and/or other addictions) and Tobacco Use

- Benefits of Quitting Smoking

- Quitting resources

- Opportunity to be referred to Quitline Services

Please RSVP by June 14th to asullivan@chesapeakevoyagers.org

Chesapeake Voyagers, Inc.

Wellness and Recovery Center

342-C North Aurora Street

Easton, MD 21601

410-822-1601