Dear TBZ community:
At our monthly Brookline Clergy Meeting this past week, one of our colleagues, Rev. Candace Nicolds, Senior Minister of Brookline Church of Christ, guided us on a spiritual centering and shared a blessing from John O’Donohue’s book of blessings, To Bless the Space Between Us. It inspired me to share it with you:
For One Who Is Exhausted
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight.
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken in the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
I am sure that these words speak to many of you too. Even in the midst of what feels like a hopeful time -- the summer is almost here, in-person Shabbat Services are returning, and every day there is a return to a “normal” life -- yet we are exhausted!
In this week's Parshat Beha’alotcha we read the well-known story of the people of Israel who complained bitterly to Moses as they wished they had meat to eat instead of Manna. The Torah tells us that the people missed the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic that they ate in Egypt. Often when we read this story, we say, a bit jokingly, that this is the nature of the Jewish people -- to kvetch, to complain.
Although they are now free, having been enslaved for generations, the hardships of the journey and its uncertainty drive the people to complain. Instead of being able to appreciate and focus on their newly achieved blessings, they complain about what they don’t have. That seems to be something we humans do. It is easier to complain about what isn’t than to appreciate what is. The practices of gratitude and of mindfulness, which we encourage you to take at TBZ, are practices that help us to appreciate what is with more fullness.
Now, as the story continues we know and notice that Moses is also exhausted. The complaints of the people bring him to a place of desperation, of not wanting more. He even says to God that he prefers to die than continue leading the people. We read in Numbers 11:14-15:
לֹֽא־אוּכַ֤ל אָנֹכִי֙ לְבַדִּ֔י לָשֵׂ֖את אֶת־כׇּל־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֑ה כִּ֥י כָבֵ֖ד מִמֶּֽנִּי
I cannot carry all this people by myself, for it is too much for me.
וְאִם־כָּ֣כָה ׀ אַתְּ־עֹ֣שֶׂה לִּ֗י הׇרְגֵ֤נִי נָא֙ הָרֹ֔ג אִם־מָצָ֥אתִי חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֶ֑יךָ וְאַל־אֶרְאֶ֖ה בְּרָעָתִֽי
If You would deal thus with me, kill me rather, I beg You, and let me see no more of my wretchedness!”
The Italian commentator Sforno explains this verse, saying that what Moshe said to God was: “You will have to provide me with assistants to enable me to carry this burden”. And Ohr HaChaim (Chaim ibn Attar, Marrocan commentator) explains: “Here Moses revealed his own wishes in the matter. He told God that his refusal to carry the load all by himself was not due to lack of good will to carry out God's assignment but to his conviction that it was beyond his ability to do so.”. Moses' capacity not only to recognize his limitations but also to ask for the help that is needed can be of inspiration to each and all of us.
Perhaps in this story, we can see here two models of response to being exhausted: the people of Israel, who complain and can’t see the blessings of the moment and Moses who recognizes the pain and understands that to move on, one needs to find the support, in others, in community and perhaps also within oneself.
Going back to the words of John O’Donohue, I am taking to heart this Shabbat these words:
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
And
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
If you, like me, are exhausted, let's learn from Moses, to ask for support and help and not do it alone and from John O'Donoghue to linger around someone of ease and to take refuge in our senses.
Thank God, our tradition gives us the gift of Shabbat, a time to rest. A time to recognize the miracle of being alive. In the wise words of our teacher Rabbi Zalma Schachter Shalomi:
“A traditional Shabbos is not a day to do; it is a day to be. No purchases are made, no business taken care of. We rest content with what we have. No long journeys are undertaken: wherever we are, we are content to be. The food has been prepared ahead of time, the arrangements have all been made. We are free to pamper our souls.
(Jewish with Feeling, A Guide to Meaningful Jewish Practice, by Rabbi Zalman Shachter-Shalomi with Joel Segal).
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing of spirit
May we have a joyful and restful Shabbat!
Shabbat Shalom
