With longer days and warmer weather, we naturally shed layers. At first it feels a bit strange, but we soon acclimate and then even the idea of putting on a layer can feel heavy. As the summer season begins, I invite you to lighten your load.

What "layer" you could shed?

Pick Something

Maybe it's:

• actual stuff
• a task or obligation
• a pattern of thinking
• a relationship that no longer serves you

Stuff

Tap into your logic, not your emotions.

Ask:

• When/how often do I wear or use this? (Hint: if the answer is once a year or less, it probably can go)
• Do I even like it?

Action Ideas:

• Give it away or throw it away.

Feel: The freedom of more space, the satisfaction of organization, the joy of your stuff benefiting someone else

Task or Obligation

Ask:

• On a scale of 0-10, how important is this? and...
• Do I really need to be the one to do it?

Hint: If your answer for either is not an 8 or higher, you probably can take action.

Action Ideas:

• Decide to Delete, Delegate, Automate or Outsource and then Delete, Delegate, Automate or Outsource!

Feel: The permission to do less, the joy of gaining time, the release of responsibility

Pattern of Thinking

Examples could be a worry, feeling of guilt, ruminating thought or a negative belief.

Ask:

• How does thinking this way serve, motivate or help me to grow?
• Is there an action step that would help resolve, diminish or eliminate this weight?
• What would it feel like to not have to carry this anymore?
• Will this even matter in a few weeks, months, years?

Action Ideas:

• Identify what is in your control and what is not

Focus your energy on what is in your control & take action:

"Don't live in chains when you have the key."

• Action = Self-agency = a decrease in these types of thought patterns
• Remind yourself: My thoughts are real, but not necessarily true
• Problem solve the worry and take a concrete action step
• Take accountability and make an apology or repair
• Disengage: Interrupt your habitual thought pattern and replace it with a thought & a new habit that moves you in the direction you want to be headed
• Consider the opposite position of your thought, worry, belief. How would you think, feel, behave if you led with this instead? Try one of these behaviors. With repetition, this will become more natural & replace the old pattern.
• Leave room for mistakes - they will happen and they are opportunities to learn

For what is not in your control, take action:

• Realize you can be a good person without throwing yourself under the bus or weighing yourself down more
• Offer yourself kindness
• Decide to let it go and then take a step in that direction
• Use movement, breathing, journaling, laughter
• Ask for help from someone you trust

Feel: The shift in your body & mind, the room for new ways of thinking and being, the sense of peace & calm

Relationship

Sometimes a relationship becomes weighty, entangled, encumbered.

When this happens, our options are to remove ourselves, change the dynamics or accept what is.

Ask:

• Is this relationship mostly reciprocal?
• Does being with this person leave me feeling joyful, positive, filled up?
• What makes the most sense to do?

Action Ideas:

• Acknowledge the good and the bad
• Focus on your boundaries
• Limit exposure
• Disengage from certain topics
• Change the role you play
• Invite them into a new way of interacting

Feel: Your sense of wellbeing restored, room for a new way to interact, opportunity to make new connections

For any of these it helps to hold yourself accountable. Tell someone of your intention to "shed a layer" and ask them to check in with you about your progress.

There are many things we carry in life, but not all of them are necessary or need to be carried forever. Try lightening your load.

Feel the lightness, the buoyancy and the breathing room! Give yourself the sense of freedom and increased capacity you deserve.