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Dear St. Andrew's Family, I sincerely apologize for the omission of two paragraphs in last weeks' Friday Flash Notes section. It was not my intention to cut Michelle's article short. Please accept my apology and enjoy this reprint in it's entirety. Tina McGee
“Children and St. Andrew’s”
By Michelle Johnson
Jesus is known for his concern for the marginalized: social outcasts, prostitutes, the sick, and the focus of this Friday Flash: children. “Let the little children come unto me,” Jesus was purported to have said. I don’t know if that’s actually in the Bible or not, but Christians of all denominations are familiar with it. For some, this “quote” conjures a warm and equally familiar image: Jesus, in his sandals and white cloak, kneels on the ground, children surrounding him and sitting on his lap with bright eyes and smiling faces.
For as long as my family has been at St. Andrew’s (22 years), children have been both a strength and a challenge: “We’ve got great kids in this parish,” we’ve always reminded ourselves. Yet throughout the years we’ve also asked: to what extent should we include children in worship? Who will volunteer next to run our (now defunct) Church School? Is a monthly children’s sermon necessary given that there are so few children to listen? And, the question of the day: How do we attract more families with children to St. Andrew’s and convince them to stay?
Of course, we’re not alone in this struggle. My quick Google search for “children in the Episcopal church” brought up several articles with disheartening titles like “How the Episcopal Church is Failing Its Youth” or “The Death of the Episcopal Church is Near.” One culprit is sheer demographics: in a 2019 article, Ryan Burge identified the modal age of an Episcopalian as 69. But this isn’t the whole story. As the Reverend Noah Van Niel writes, “kids are generally wonderful but busy, and church is not often on the top of the priority list.”
As I reflect on the topic of children at St. Andrew’s over the years, there’s a lot to celebrate. When my children were born, I didn’t cook for weeks thanks to our Calling and Caring ministry. My babies were also showered with clothing, books, and toys. These traditions continue today. When my children were young, they attended Church School, which was run by a small but extraordinarily dedicated group of parishioner-parents, who generously gave their time and talents to teach our children about God and the Episcopal faith. Several rectors over the years dedicated one Sunday a month to children, delivering a children’s sermon and inviting children to the altar for an instructed Eucharist. The annual St. Andrew’s tradition of the visit of St. Nicholas of Myra put children front and center: St. Nicholas “arrived” in the sanctuary and taught the children about himself and how he’s distinct from Santa Claus. Before he left, he filled their shoes with oranges and chocolate coins.
Beyond these children-focused events, we’ve also had strong intergenerational activities that brought children and adults together to accomplish a common goal: Crop Walks and Rise Against Hunger events addressed food insecurity locally and in the world. For the annual Rogation service, we gathered at the Reeves’s farm for outdoor worship and delicious food. In anticipation of this event, my children would ask: “When are we going to have church with the cows, Mommy?” Most recently, intergenerational music programs have enriched our Christmas and Easter services.
When it comes to children, we’ve done many things right. But if we want to make our children (and their parents) feel welcome enough to stay and if we want to ensure the future of the church, we still have some work to do. We’ve made some necessary and wonderful enhancements to our property over the years to improve accessibility, including sanctuary renovations and parking lot upgrades. We installed solar panels to ensure the financial health of the parish and help us be faithful stewards of God’s creation. Generous donors believed in these projects and made them happen. But what about our children? Could we also find willing donors to support a youth program with a paid youth director? We’ve entertained this possibility several times in the past two decades, and each time we’ve decided that other initiatives were more important. We rationalized our decision by telling ourselves: “We don’t have enough children to justify it” and “We’re simply an older congregation.” In the meantime, numerous families with children have left St. Andrew’s for churches with youth programs.
What can we do? Let’s begin by acknowledging and upholding the families and children we’re thankful to have with us. On Sunday, I challenge you to thank a parent for being at St. Andrew’s and for bringing their children to church (even if not every Sunday). After all, they could be anywhere – in bed sleeping or on the soccer field – but they’ve chosen to worship with us. Next, thank our children. Tell them that we’re happy they’re with us and that we appreciate every part of them: their loud voices, their boundless energy, their unending curiosity, their relentless appetites. Finally, pray for the present and future of our youth ministry. If you have the talent or training or feel called to this, or if you want to share your treasure to start a youth program, talk to our wardens or a vestry member. Let’s challenge ourselves to keep an open mind as we look ahead and maybe even experiment with new ways to engage our youngest parishioners. Together, and with God’s help, we can and will move forward. Our children and the church deserve it.
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