Welcome to Wiser Now’s weekly email blast which reflects my eclectic interests and, I hope, yours. This week, my focus is on friendships – both everyday and odd, because August is Win with Civility Month, Peace Month, and Friendship Month. I’ve pulled them together, because friendships form when people are courteous and respectful toward one another, and if more people were friends, the world might be a more peaceful place. Is that too much of a stretch? More generally, friendships and laughter go together, and that’s my major theme here. Plus, a word of gratitude: I treasure my friends more than words can express. Thank you for being you.

I hope you find these offerings fun, and perhaps even useful, and welcome your feedback. (Kathy@WiserNow.com) And if you haven’t yet pressed the subscribe button so this newsletter doesn’t go to spam, please do so now.
The Quirky Quote
That is the best – to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
~ Gloria Vanderbilt

The Quirky Observations
My personal mantra is:

Laughter builds rapport.
Rapport builds trust.
Trust builds relationships.

Friendships often begin in one of two ways: through an act of kindness or through laughing at the same thing. When we say, “We hit it off right from the start,” we frequently mean we laughed together.

As the trivia quiz points out, there are many unexpected famous friendships that prove opposites can find things in common, and laughter helps reveal that common ground. There are innumerable serious books and articles on the meaning and benefits of ideal friendships, but I think humor is a factor in most.

While it’s true that a friend who shows up in our time of need is a friend indeed, the impact of their presence is most often simply that they cheer us up, make us smile and help us believe we will get through this – whatever “this” is. They don’t solve the problem. By helping us “lighten up,” they simply take some weight off our reality. Their ability to lighten us up comes from the memories we share of meals, movies, hobbies, values, viewpoints, the beauty of Nature . . .
Surprisingly, a valued friendship doesn’t always have to last long. C.S. Lewis said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!’” Something connects us, but it doesn’t necessarily endure. Perhaps it’s a mentor/mentee relationship that lasts only through the mentee’s launch. Perhaps we are separated by distance, new relationships, new directions, illness, death, or a million other reasons. But the friendship served its purpose, shaped us, and gave us great memories.

And sometimes we are simply attracted to a person’s laugh. I don’t know who said it, but it’s true: We all have that one friend whose laugh is funnier than the joke. Virtually everyone is delighted by a laughing baby, but most of us also know someone whose unique laugh makes us laugh. They are great people to keep close.
The Quirky Facts
In the quiz below, I tried to choose friendships that are not widely known and mostly among historical figures rather than contemporary ones. Helen Keller had a number of famous friends, including Alexander Graham Bell (pictured with her) and Mark Twain. I didn’t include them in the quiz because many know of Mr. Bell’s work educating the deaf, and I had another interesting friendship in mind for Mark Twain. Similarly, silent screen movie star Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein were indeed an unlikely pairing, but I had another friendship in mind for Mr. Einstein.
I also tried to avoid people in the same profession. Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova were tennis court rivals an astounding 80 times, but ultimately forged a strong friendship, that was featured in the ESPN documentary “Unmatched.” While their friendship may be exceptional, it doesn’t surprise me when people who excel in a profession show respect for one another and become pals. In the movie, music, and TV celebrity world, it does not seem odd for ANY two current celebrities to become friends, so I mostly avoided those in the quiz, too. Besides, as an old, clueless fogie, I don’t know who most of them are.

One relatively short friendship that popped up over and over that I had heard about many years before, including on a London walking tour, was between comedian Groucho Marx and somber poet T.S. Eliot. In 1961, the poet wrote to ask for a publicity photo from the comic, and that began three years of correspondence that culminated in Mr. and Mrs. Marx dining with the Eliots in their London home. Groucho Marx later wrote that the dinner taught him that he and Eliot shared three things in common: “(1) an affection for good cigars and (2) cats; and (3) a weakness for making puns.”
The Featured Products
One way to celebrate Win with Civility Month, and make new friends is to create and share affirmation cards or good wishes stones. Two of my friends have cards to offer, and two more give out good wishes stones. Painted stones are easy to make, and their creation is a good bonding activity for friends. Check out https://www.thekindnessrocksproject.com/ or Google “painting stones” for loads of ideas. (Pictured here: sample from CrazyLaura.com)
As for the cards, you can learn more here:

Mallori DeSalle offers a Laugh, Light, Love Laffirmation Station 60-card deck with positive self-talk messages to give to yourself or others. Samples: Working with you is a pleasure, and You are adventurous.
Roberta Gold has a Laughter Rocks! 52-card deck of short tips to have a more positive mindset and a great day, which are also good for yourself or to give away. Sample: The more you laugh, the more you feel like laughing.
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The Questions
  • Do you have one or more close friends? What makes your friendship strong?
  • What are the most important characteristics in your view of a close friendship?

The Quiz – Unexpected Friendships
In the following quiz I have asked you to match the two people who have/had a surprising friendship.
1.   Mark Twain and ___
2.   Harry Houdini and ___
3.   Frida Kahlo and ___
4.   Colonel Sanders and ___

1.   Snoop Dogg and ___
2.   Elton John and ___
3.   Ella Fitzgerald and ___
4.   Albert Einstein and ___
a.   J. Edgar Hoover
b.   Georgia O’Keeffe
c.   Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
d.   Nikola Tesla

a.   Eminem
b.   Marian Anderson
c.   Martha Stewart
d.   Marilyn Monroe
See the notes about the answers at the end of the document. You are likely to be surprised by them.
Answers to the quiz
1.   Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla
2.   Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
3.   Georgia O’Keeffe and Frida Kahlo
4.   Colonel Sanders and J. Edgar Hoover
5.   Snoop Dogg & Martha Stewart
6.   Elton John and Eminem
7.   Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe
8.   Albert Einstein and Marian Anderson
Brief notes:
1.   Author Mark Twain and electricity wizard Nikola Tesla shared an intellectual curiosity. They often exchanged letters, and Twain was a frequent visitor to Tesla’s lab. Each man claimed the other had once cured him of an illness. Tesla wrote that when he was bedridden from sickness, Twain’s novels helped jump-start his recovery. After the two became friends, Tesla repaid the favor when he cured the writer of a severe bout of constipation by having him stand on one of his inventions, a high frequency oscillator, AKA an “earthquake machine.” (Photo is a cropped book cover from The Scientific Adventures of Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla by Robert Cerio)
2.   In the early 1920s, master escape artist Harry Houdini and “Sherlock Holmes” author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle struck up an unlikely friendship. It fell apart a few years later when Houdini, who did his best to debunk psychics and supposed paranormal phenomena, could not convince Conan Doyle that fairies and psychics were not real. Although you would think the mystery author would know better, he was an evangelist for the Spiritualist movement and ultimately found Houdini’s efforts disrespectful. (Photo credit: Literary Hub)

3.   The friendship between Frida Kahlo and Georgia O’Keeffe was partly as mentee and mentor at a time when women who were artists struggled for recognition, and partly about two women who bonded overt their common fate of being in love with an unfaithful man.
4.   This was a mostly one-sided friendship in which Colonel Sanders, the chicken franchise owner, greatly admired the long-time FBI director. Did J. Edgar Hoover actually attend Col. Sanders 80th birthday party? My sources weren’t clear.

5.   These two became friends when Snoop Dogg appeared on Martha Stewart’s show in 2006. Despite their 30-year age difference, Dogg said in a 2016 interview with Rolling Stone. "When we come together, it's a natural combination of love, peace, and harmony." (Photo credit: TheBeet.com)

6.   Elton John and Eminem have been friends ever since they unexpectedly performed together at the 2001 Grammy Awards. As one measure of their enduring friendship, Elton John reportedly provided counsel when Eminem was dealing with alcohol abuse.

7.   Marilyn Monroe greatly admired Ella Fitzgerald and played her music when she was down. Although widely famous, in the 1950s, segregation was still the reality for most Blacks and Ms. Fitzgerald struggled to get hired by nightclubs. When the popular LA nightclub Mocambo wouldn’t book her, Ms. Monroe reportedly told the club owners that if they booked Ms. Fitzgerald for 10 days in a row, she would personally show up every night with celebrities. The owners hired her, and Ms. Monroe came through.
8.   In 1937, Albert Einstein was living and working in Princeton, NJ and was a member of the audience when Marian Anderson gave a highly praised performance at a concert hall there. When he heard that she was denied a room at a local inn, he extended an invitation for her to stay at his home, and she stayed with his wife and him from then on whenever she was in town over the next 18 years. (Photo credit: Denver Center for the Performing Arts)
My multiple goals are to amuse and inspire you, to share what I and people whom I admire are doing, to stimulate your curiosity and spur you to action. I hope you enjoyed this offering. You can access previous issues here. I welcome your feedback. (Kathy@WiserNow.com)
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