How do fish know they've bitten a hook?
Because it hurts. Maybe, but they could bite something else that hurts that isn't a hook. Fish know they are hooked because they get pulled in a different direction from the one they were swimming in.
If a fish could notice that hooks are hooks, what would we see them do?
Most likely they would swim around them and continue on the path they were going before the hook showed up.
Would they ever have to get rid of the hooks?
Understand or analyze hooks?
Explain hooks or identify who is holding the fishing line?
NO. It would be enough to just notice hooks as hooks.
We are kinda like fish.
When we bite "hooks", we think, feel and act in a way that takes us in a different direction from the one we were headed. It pulls us away from where we want to be going.
Our hooks can be circumstances, thoughts, emotions, memories and stories. They might be something we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Hooks can be external such as hearing a sarcastic comment or internal, like when we judge or doubt ourselves. We may be humming along on our path and suddenly find ourselves stopping, turning or taking a step back as a result of biting a hook.
Sometimes it's hard to know you're biting a hook because it's often disguised in bait. For example, say you have time set aside to work on a project. A colleague asks for help, you take an unexpected call and next thing you know the window for working on your project has disappeared. The hook? Meeting other people's needs at the cost of your own. The result? You might be annoyed, frustrated and feel even more time crunched than before. None of which helps support you in moving in the direction you want to be going.
An easy way to know if you've bitten a hook is to look at what you do next. Are you having a strong reaction? Are you retreating? Have you lost focus? Are you obsessing, overwhelmed or ruminating? Chances are it's because you bit a hook.
The good news.
We can learn to recognize our hooks as hooks. When we can identify them, we can choose not to bite. And if we do bite them, (which inevitably we will), we can learn to soften our grip and let the hook go.
Experiment
- Identify your obvious hooks. These are what tend to set you off or pull you away from your intention and direction on a regular basis.
- Try to anticipate them and when you recognize them, try to not bite down. This requires awareness and a plan of action. Remind yourself the direction you want to be going, and swim around the hook.
- If you notice you've been derailed, take a minute and reflect on which hook you bit. This is knowledge for next time.
- If you realize you have just bitten a hook, (you're feeling triggered & reverting to habits, thoughts and behaviors that keep you stuck or heading backwards), try to soften your mouth and let the hook slip out.
As you can imagine, this last one is the hardest scenario. Strategies that can help:
- Ask yourself, is latching onto this hook worth $5?
- What would help me most right now?
We each have our own hooks and sometimes the water can seem like it's full of them. But with a little awareness, we can swim around many of them and continue in the direction we choose.
