II. Blog Articles and Podcast Recordings |
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IV. Virtual Seminars on August 20, 2022* |
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The Men's Group Seminar: Oliver Burkeman on the “Fight Against Time”
Journalist Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, an important book that addresses the cultural focus on productivity in modern life. Burkeman begins with the premise that the current heightened attention to optimizing time and the proliferation of efficiency hacks have largely been a recipe for simply being busier and constantly living in the future – which has resulted in an anxious relationship to time, illusions about our capacity to control time, and a tendency toward perfectionism and procrastination. Tim Adams, in his review of Burkeman's book, observes that productivity is “revealed (by Burkeman) as a fairly dubious modern virtue.” Because our time and our lives (i.e., roughly “four thousand weeks” in duration) are finite, as Burkeman argues -- an emotional reality we try to avoid, we must come to accept our finitude and ultimately raise our awareness of how we decide to use our time. We simply cannot get done everything that is on our plates, no matter what time management techniques we use. Burkeman’s approach to this conundrum involves transitioning from trying to “do it all” (an aspiration many of us unconsciously collude with) to “doing what really counts.” One reviewer of Burkeman’s book observes that “Every choice we make is both an affirmation and a sacrifice,” a reflection that Burkeman suggests involves “ceaselessly waving goodbye to possibility.” Burkeman opposes a literal view of conceptualizing time as a commodity, or merely as a pragmatic consideration (i.e., I can accomplish this task on Thursday after I do some other tasks on Wednesday), but instead champions a liberation from time. In the next virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar on Saturday, August 20, 2022 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will consider Burkeman’s perspective on time. Specifically, we will discuss an interview of Burkeman published in The Atlantic and additional video-recorded interviews with Rangan Chatterjee, M.D. (“Life Is Short”) and Robert Wright.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Relationship Group Seminar: Micromanipulation
Narcissists utilize a variety of direct and indirect strategies to gain control in relationships, garner affirmation and validation, and coerce others to feel and behave as the narcissist so desires. A form of manipulation that is very powerful yet not often discussed is micromanipulation. A covert act whose goal is to assert control and establish the narcissist’s self-perceived victim status, micromanipulation involves baiting another person in a way that attempts to win over his or her empathy and coerce this person to be more accepting of, and engaged with, the narcissist. The micromanipulation often plays on the person's sympathies and inherent kindness to subdue any actual or potential boundary-setting and to stimulate vulnerability to the narcissist. Typically, a narcissistic person has an “inflated ego” that belies a deep insecurity and fractured self-esteem, so anticipated or actual rejections by others are psychologically intolerable. Consequently, micromanipulation is often the last resort employed by a narcissist in an attempt to paralyze a romantic partner (or an employee in the workplace) who is contemplating leaving the relationship. The types of micromanipulation are varied but include message tactics such as “the hidden bomb,” acts of self-sabotage, and the verbalization of self-criticism. As these messages are put forth by the narcissist, they weaken the other person's fortitude and draw him or her back to the narcissist. Other micromanipulations include consistent attempts to change the other's opinion and subtle forms of scrutiny and criticism that seek to destabilize and coerce the person with whom the narcissist is in relationship. In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, August 20, 2022 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will discuss how micromanipulations are utilized in relationships and consider the most effective approaches to navigating them.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others. Our next virtual group session will be held on Saturday, August 20, 2022 (1:15 to 2:30 PM). The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
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* Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar and/or the Relationship Group Seminar on August 20, 2022, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com on or before Thursday, August 18, 2022. The fee is $25.00 and informed consent for participation in these telehealth events must be completed prior to the seminars. Please note that the Men's Group Seminar and the Relationship Group Seminar are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.
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