This year, Brown's Commencement came three weeks early as it was adjusted to accommodate our extended summer session. Therefore, this week has been filled with emotions for me as we celebrated Commencement and will celebrate Mother's Day this upcoming Sunday. Additionally, I pen this letter on the day which would have been my late grandmother's 85th Birthday. As with many grandmas or nanas, as some call them, mine was special. 

I heard my grandmother say that one could bear the pain that others were experiencing. I did not understand what she meant when she said this; I was only 12 or so at the time. She expounded a little bit further and said that when my aunt had a series of surgeries, my grandmother prayed and asked God to remove the pain that her daughter (my aunt) would experience during her surgery and give it to her. Curious as I was, I asked my grandmother did it work, and she said yes. During my aunt's surgery and the days following her release, my grandma said she experienced pains reminiscent of labor during this time. I spoke with my aunt shortly after and inquired about her recovery, and she said this was the least amount of pain she had experienced in all of her six surgeries. 

Medical professionals and scientists would probably disagree that there was this physical transference of pain between two people. Even some theologians steeped in spirituality might even disagree. I, however, now believe her and experienced this myself with members of the Class of 2021. Brown's Class of 2021 will always be unique because I have journeyed with them from day one as I started my tenure at Brown during their orientation. I remember a particular time, I counseled a student who dealt with terrible test anxiety, and I prayed for them as they studied for finals. In my alone prayer time, I asked God to remove their stress and give it to me so they could finally do well on their finals. For an entire week, I had restless nights, and when I did finally sleep, all of my dreams consisted of me being back in undergrad studying for my calculus final. Several mornings, I woke up in a panic, thinking I had overslept for a final presentation for my 9 a.m. in class. This continued for a week until finals were over. I asked my student a month later how finals and classes went, and they told me they aced finals and had no anxiety during this time. 

Chaplaincy is not for the faint of heart, and even though we should not take our work home with us, it is often difficult because we become so emotionally invested in our students. When I saw that particular student in their regalia this past Sunday, I immediately got emotional because I journeyed with them through the ups and downs of matriculating through their degree program. Pieces of me felt like I was graduating all over again. I can only imagine how parents, particularly mothers, feel. Seeing a child, you've carried for nine months, watching them grow old and get accepted into and graduate from an Ivy League institution; A deep and overwhelming sense of joy fills their heart. As a child commences across the stage, so does the parent.

I chuckled to myself when Brown announced it was going to have a closed graduation with only students, faculty and staff. I knew those parents who bore the physical labor pains and bore their children’s emotional pains/anxiety these last four years would not be deterred from ascending upon College Hill. I was correct in my assumption as I saw parents push past security barriers and stand for two hours or sit on the sidewalk at the outskirts of the Main Green, just to see their child walk through the Van Wickle gates. I am confident if I graduated from Brown during a pandemic, grandma Velora would have done the same thing. I am certain the reason why I am a chaplain at Brown University is because the prayers of my grandmother from yesteryears are still covering me today. So I conclude by saying, Happy Birthday, Grandma! Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers, and congrats to the Class of 2021.