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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 7 No.3 March 2022
Inspired by the words and deeds of Robert F. Kennedy
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Keeping the Boat Upright
Dear Friends:
The late day in March that you’re receiving this newsletter reflects that there are just too many moving parts in my life. I’m finding that juggling a ten-month-old puppy (and the guilt that comes with not giving him his due attention) with speaking engagements, radio show tapings, and the usual buzz of life has become a bit overwhelming. At least for the moment.
However, I know that most of you are in the same not-enough-time boat. The goal is to not capsize the darn boat, right? Ugh.
On a way more positive note, I did get in my first bike ride of the season on the only warm day in March—17 miles through wooded trails that were still icy in some spots. It was a mess, for sure, but quite wonderful!
This month has also had me speaking to LGBTQ+ middle schoolers (via their schools’ Gender and Sexuality Alliances [GSAs]) in Minnesota and Iowa—and wow, I have to say that those kiddos so endeared me with their intelligence, wit, awareness, grit and resilience. It’s just simply an honor to talk to such incredible humans who are surviving bullying, unaccepting parents, and peer pressure to conform.
Those young humans helped to reinforce why I need to keep going—it’s all about making the world better for them!
Tomorrow, I head to Norfolk, Nebraska for a day and a half where I will conduct two Gray Area Thinking© trainings for community leaders/ordinary humans and a Transgender 101 for the local community college. A coalition of groups are sponsoring my work in this town of 24,000 and I’m so looking forward to being “live” once again—and to the road trip! (Which no doubt will include some McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries.) It’s been such a long, Covid-induced time since my last road trip/speaking gig. Wish me luck!
Finally, if you’re interested, I collaborated with mystery writer Rob Jung to create a transgender private detective character for his book, The Sower. The Dakota County Public Library will host an online discussion with Rob and me on the 31st at 6:30 p.m. You can read about the event here and sign up to attend if you’d like. (But no pressure to do so--protect the darn boat!)
Remember, I care about you. You can reach out at any time.
ellie
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Ultimate Compassion--Saving 200+
Humans from Suicide
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As we all know, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is one of the most iconic images in the world. I’ve driven over the bridge several times and it offers a breathtaking view of the city. Yet, over time, the bridge has become a magnet for people seeking to end their lives.
Enter Kevin Briggs, a California Highway Patrol officer who spent much of his twenty-three-year career patrolling the Golden Gate Bridge. As this story relates, beginning in 1994, he started talking to people who were contemplating taking their lives while they stood on the edge of the bridge. Although Briggs had never been trained on suicide prevention, he quickly became adept at understanding that compassion, patience, and respect were key to successfully coaxing someone off the bridge’s railing.
Over the course of his tenure with the CHP, Kevin was responsible for saving more than 200 people from taking their lives. Only one of those people, Kevin Berthia, who Kevin Briggs saved in 2005, has kept in touch with him. At the time, Berthia was deeply in debt over medical bills for his prematurely-born daughter. When Kevin Briggs approached him on the bridge, Berthia said, “I was just mad at myself for being in that situation and I was embarrassed…But somehow, the compassion in (Kevin Briggs’) voice is what allowed me to kinda let my guard down enough for us to have a conversation.”
The two men talked for more than 90 minutes. Eventually, Kevin Briggs convinced Kevin Berthia that he needed to live for his daughter.
You can learn more about Kevin Briggs and his incredible career of helping to save human lives by viewing his 2014 TED Talk here.
Assuming you’re open to receiving it, human compassion always wins!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
The Need for Allies to Self-Educate
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Many of us want to be allies to people from marginalized communities, but all too often, we lack a good understanding about what it means to actually be a member of those communities. As frequently occurs, we look to the marginalized person to educate us about what it means to be “them.” For many marginalized people, this can be both frustrating and fatiguing.
In a perfect world, allies self-educate about the humans they want to support and be allies to. Yes, that takes a personal commitment and real time to accomplish, but in the end, it’s incredibly important and it avoids putting the burden on the marginalized person.
So, how to self-educate?
In a phrase, “Google.” As we all know, you can find just about anything one would desire via Google, and along with that, Wikipedia. While it’s great to read a book that explains something about a marginalized group of humans, these shortcuts certainly can give you a lot. Moreover, Googling can be a form of allyship (“ally” is a status; “allyship” is the action form of being an ally).
You get the idea. It doesn’t have to be a massive time suck to self-educate on a group of humans you care about. And learn we all should (including me)—it will better inform us as to their historic and contemporary struggles and give us tools for how to engage in allyship on their behalf.
Hopefully, the above doesn’t come off as condescending. Given how we’re all so pressed for time, I simply wanted to offer a common-sense tool that anyone can use.
Thanks!
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See this story of a Corpus Christi, TX Starbucks employee who felt that a woman customer might feel threatened by a male customer—the employee wrote a note on the woman’s cup, “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup.” Think of the awareness and courage it took for the Starbucks team member to do that! |
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I’ve had a couple of great Ellie 2.0 Radio shows (even if I do say so myself!). One show, on March 19, had Jeffrey Siminoff of the Robert F. Kenney Human Rights organization talking about their “Workplace Dignity” initiative, which includes very helpful tools for employers. My March 12th show featured actor Dean Holt speaking about his role as Officer Manny in the Minneapolis Children’s Theater Company play, “Something Happened in Our Town,” which is based on a children’s book, by the same name. The play is about how a police-involved shooting of a black person affects the relationship of a white girl and black boy and their families. While the play ended on March 27th, you can still buy the book—which I highly recommend! One more thing: I’m going to be one of ten women featured by Minnesota Women’s Press at an event on April 16 titled, “Celebrating Badass Minnesota Women.” It will take place at the First Unitarian Society of Minneapolis. See here.
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It's been a month since Russia invaded Ukraine, and the pictures of death and destruction coming from that beautiful country are heartbreaking. And of course, we have no idea how all of this will play out. Here’s a link on what you can do to support the incredibly brave Ukrainians. Separately, what’s happening to transgender kids and their parents across the country is horrible, but in Texas it’s Orwellian—last month, the state’s governor and attorney general issued directives stating that providing gender-affirming care to trans children and youth (including therapy) constitutes child abuse. The directives ordered the state’s child protection system to investigate parents of younger trans humans who received such care. The threats have been enough to force the state’s largest provider of trans-affirming care to stop treating transgender kids and youth—see this very good and detailed WP story, along with this CNN summary of what's happening. Moreover, it doesn’t have to be this way—the brave governors of Utah and Indiana vetoed bills that targeted transgender girls and women in sports. See here. However, as this NPR piece relates, 50K+ (!!) transgender kids/youth are at risk of losing access to gender affirming care as 15 states have either enacted or are considering laws to ban such care (with some states imposing criminal penalties against doctors and therapists who continue to provide the care). Can we imagine the outcry if states were targeting diabetic children?
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I have only one thing for Relief this month, and it’s extremely bittersweet: check out this video of Ukrainian cellist Denys Karachevtsev playing Bach in the ruins of Kharkiv on March 22. My heart hurts for all the innocent people.
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Here’s a wonderful piece on how to be supportive of kids on the gender spectrum; my thanks to Bebo Andrews for passing along! Also, my friend Joe in CT sent along this letter from the Toronto-based That Choir, which cancelled a series and talk by composer Eric Whiteacre after he took a residency at Brigham Young University, which prohibits same-sex relationships and generally marginalizes LGBTQ students. As Joe related, concert choirs are often filled with younger LGBTQ+ humans trying to live authentically.
Lastly, if you want to help me to do more work for organizations that lack budgets for training, please consider donating to Human Ripple Works, Inc., a nonprofit that others and I set up to train nonprofits/other organizations on human inclusivity. Several of you have recently made donations--thank you for that!! If you’d like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website.
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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