In August, I took four weeks off for pastoral renewal leave (something that is encouraged for full-time clergy in the UMC every four years, and that I had yet to do after 16 years).
Since I’ve been back, people have asked me how it was – what I did – how I feel. It’s been tricky to respond. I was busy. I did lots of things. I did nothing.
I started out with big expectations and feeling like four weeks was luxuriously long – and then, after a couple of trips to see family and friends, and taking some time to catch up on projects around the house and doing all the things I never feel like I have time to do- –found that four weeks goes by way too quick, and my expectations were way too lofty.
I ended up setting aside any unrealistic hopes I had (you know—to be transformed into a funnier, smarter, thinner person in just four weeks!) and settled in to the idea of just being as present as possible each day. Not to do anything to prove myself (to myself or anyone else); not to produce anything; not to accomplish or create; just to be.
In the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist (that Rev. Jamielee gave me as a gift years ago), the author writes: “[Present over perfect] is about rejecting the myth that every day is a new opportunity to prove our worth, and about the truth that our worth is inherent, given by God, not earned by our hustling.”
It’s not easy, and when there are so many to-do’s and to-prove’s on your physical or mental list, the idea of not getting everything done seems anti-intuitive. But even God rested—and so should we.
So . . .
Deep breath. . . .
Slow down. . . .
Stop hustling.
You are God’s beloved creation.
This season, I pray for you a hustle-free moment here and there, so that you can remember your deep, abiding and unending worth that comes from the love of God. Today and every day.
Peace, Rev. Sandi