[Preaching to the children for first part of the homily]
Boys and girls. I have a question for you.
Has anyone ever hurt you and
do something that you do not like?
Do you ever get mad at them?
Now this is a public confession.
And it’s not fair, is it?
It is embarrassing to tell your sins out loud!
That is kind of what happened to this woman.
She was publicly caught and then brought in front of everyone.
Just like me picking on you now.
And she was terrified because they want to kill her.
It is hard to admit our sins and it is even harder
when somebody points it all out to you like that.
It is what is known as shame.
Publicly pointing out what you have done.
Jesus’ response: “Whoever has never had any sins,
you go ahead and hurl the stone at her.”
Who were the first to leave?
Was it a young boy or girl who went off first?
The elders.
They knew what he meant because they are elders.
They went off first.
Do you know why?
Because of something we call wisdom.
They were wise enough to know,
when they thought about it that in fact,
they had also made mistakes and had sins.
Therefore, they could not really blame somebody else
or throw a stone at somebody else.
Boys and girls, that is why it is really important
if you get into a disagreement with somebody
that you ask your elders, your Mum and Dad,
and ask what would they do.
At least in your head if they are not present at the moment.
You ask yourself what would Mum or Dad do here?
And they would typically not blame somebody else.
For example: What happens when somebody pushes you?
What do you typically do?
Now let’s be honest.
Push ‘em back.
Okay. You’re very good. That’s honest.
But that is not what the Lord wants us to do.
The Lord wants us to forgive and to walk away.
To forgive and that is really hard to do.
But that is what the Lord is asking us to do.
The word that is used “forgive” means to let go.
It comes from the Greek word “to let go.”
What the Lord wants us to do
if you get in a fight with somebody
is to let it go and move away.
And then what you do is you ask Mum or Dad about it later;
about was that the right thing to do
because they are the wiser ones.
They have lived a longer life
and they have figured out how to do this right.
Does that make sense boys and girls?
If somebody is going to hurt you or do something wrong next time,
what are you going to do?
Walk away. And let it go.
[Preaching to the whole congregation]
So, we are the wise ones, are we?
Do we always walk away?
Let me share a little story.
It had been 10 years since her divorce;
and on every one of those days of that 10 years,
she could not get that divorce out of her head.
She was angry.
She was bitter.
She was carrying it every single one of the days for 10 years.
Eventually, her Rabbi having noticed this for 10 years said,
“Look, you’ve got to stop this.
For 10 years, you have been carrying this revenge,
this is unforgiveness
like a hot coal in your hand.
Your former husband has a new life for himself in New Jersey.
He has a new wife, new family and
has never given a second thought to all of this.
And what do you have to show for these 10 years?
Nothing but a burning hole in your hand. Let it go.”
After hearing that, she finally let the unforgiveness go
because the Rabbi had challenged her.
It sounds so simple what I have told the children;
just let it go and walk away;
but it is not so easy.
You and I know that it is harder than we think
because our emotions get involved.
But here is what is true:
our children are looking to us as the example;
they are looking to us as the elders in their life
to show them now to move on, how to forgive.
I do not want to simplify.
It is not easy.
But it is simple.
Let it go.
And move on.
The people in today’s gospel did; they, like us
are holding onto stones.
And they want to hurl them.
In this case, hurl them on a woman who committed adultery.
But if we realize that will not take back the sin nor the hurt.
It is like a hot coal burning in our hand
and if we could find a way, the strength, to let it go,
we will be healed as well as them.
Now here is the interesting thing about this scripture;
it does leave some questions;
we do need to be honest about this gospel passage.
And the two questions that jump out are:
(1) What did he write on the ground with his finger?
There have been volumes written about this.
And really, at the end of the day,
it does not matter what he wrote.
What matters is that he demonstrated forgiveness.
He not only asked it of the people who gathered as a mob
but he also asks it of us.
(2) The second question is “Where is the man?”
I may be a priest, but I know it still takes two to tango!
And here is only the woman.
The Pharisees and religious leaders are manipulative.
They say that the law says that they should stone the woman
but it says they should also stone the man.
So where is the justice?
And this raises a perennial struggle for us.
Which is that we are biased in our judgments.
We are prejudiced in our judgments
and women in society have taken the brunt of this over the years.
And we need to own that;
and to stop the unequal expectations
or unequal demands.
But again, it becomes a distraction from the core of the gospel
because the core of the gospel is about forgiveness.
And again, as I said to the children,
the Greek etymology of this word “to forgive” is to “let go of.”
We need to understand what forgiveness is not:
Forgiveness is not condoning the behavior;
it is not agreeing that it was okay;
and it is certainly not saying that
it is okay to continue to do this behavior.
Even Jesus says to the woman:
“No one has condemned you and neither do I.
Now go and sin no more.”
We too are called to do the same thing.
But let’s be honest about this too.
The people who hurt us are often those who are closest to us.
And that makes it all the more complicated
and difficult to deal with.
But here again, this is what I say:
our children are watching us to be the ones
(the elders) to be the first ones to drop the stones;
or to drop the hot coal in our hand.
That is what we are called to do.
The other challenge is to understand
the person who is hardest to forgive? Ourselves.
The hardest person to forgive is ourselves.
In every situation, we tend to blame ourselves,
at least partially if not in an inordinate disproportionate way,
which may not be accurate at all.
But the Lord again is calling us to let that go as well.
Why are we called to let it go?
Because letting it go and living in the present moment is
the only moment we have.
If we hold onto it, we are living in the past
like the woman in the story.
Holding onto this hot coal is burning a hole,
not only in our hand,
but also in our heart.
We are called to let it go.
The final person who is the hardest of all to forgive sometimes is God.
If we hold others accountable,
and we might hold ourselves accountable,
if we cannot find anyone else to blame, we just blame God.
Why did God let this happen?
Why did God allow me to suffer so?
We level the unforgiveness at God,
holding onto the hot coal burning a hole in our hearts.
The same thing the Lord is trying to do
is to have us simply let it go.
Let your hand heal and let your heart heal.
For all of us our motivation is our children
who are looking to us as elders, yes!
But also, for the sake of our own lives.
We are called to find the strength,
the strength to let go of the hot coal in our hand and in our heart;
and to let our hand heal and our heart heal;
to live in the present moment
because it is the only moment we have.
