Mediation Musings 

Sara Barnes, Executive Director

Money

Money and culture—an interesting and diverse mix. We often trip over each other’s unstated money rules. What’s normal for one person is uncomfortable for another when it comes to talking about money. We commonly see this in conflict resolution when issues of money arise. The individual’s cultural expectations, experiences, and learning impact their budgeting, negotiating, making contracts, defining priorities, and saving and spending money. Both transactional and relational conflicts often have a hard time traveling the rocky and treacherous terrain of money.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

When I was growing up there was a poster: It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need, and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. It was toward the end of the Vietnam War, and I was just becoming aware of national and local economics. As I became a teacher, school administrator, mother, and mediator I’ve often thought about economic priorities. Why do such necessary services such as food banks, social services, rescue organizations, and others like community mediation programs, have to raise money. Shouldn’t these needed services come from the public coffers?

Pitch for donations

So, here’s the pitch. It’s time for our annual donation campaign. We haven’t resorted to bake sales yet. Here’s what you get for your donation. A promise. There will be parents, employees, local community members who come our way. We will do our best to help as they slog their way from unresolved conflicts toward mutual understanding. Thanks, in anticipation for your financial help. Our ultimate goal: An Island of competent, capable and effective conflict resolvers.  

Here’s our annual appeal letter.

Here is a longer version of these Musings with a picture of the original 1970s poster.

MV Mediation Needs Your Financial Contribution

Thanks to all our donors. We will make use of your contributions wisely. We really appreciate your generosity.

DONATE HERE

Featured Service:

Workplace Conflict Services

Do you

• purchase goods and services from local businesses,
• interact with municipalities, or
• benefit from local nonprofits?

If so, you have probably interacted with an organization that has worked with MV Mediation. We provide mediation for court and community-derived cases, facilitation for meetings to discuss conflict issues, conflict coaching for individual employees, site-specific workshops for individual workplaces, and general courses to learn the skills needed to create a more peaceful workplace experience. See the invitation to join our Spring Workplace Conflict Cohort, which will begin with a new group in March. Make use of our services and consider making a donation so that we can offer more of these services, particularly for small business and nonprofits.

Here are a few articles to help your workplace operate more smoothly:

• Dignity and belonging in the workplace
• Negotiate better––watch this video
• Consider assessment through conflict dynamics profile (we can provide this service)
• Participatory and collaborative leadership article

Workplace Conflict Management

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations, and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering. If you would like to be part of our next course, sign up here: Spring 2023 Workplace Cohort.

COVID and MV Mediation Services

For over two years we have all been coping with the ever-changing expectations of COVID protocols. It is our sincere wish that the COVID stressors will eventually be behind us. Since March 2020 we have been almost entirely remote, counting on Zoom and the phone to keep our clients and service providers safe and healthy.

COVID is not entirely in the rear-view mirror yet. Last week there were 5,569 confirmed cases and 69 COVID deaths in Massachusetts. Our mediators, coaches, and facilitators will individually assess whether they can provide in-person services, so please feel free to ask. It is up the staff member or service provider to decide whether remote or in-person is the best method. Our goal is, of course, for all to remain healthy and to not be the cause of any further COVID spread.

Mediation Topics––Qualification

The next section of the Introduction to Mediation Course will begin on Tuesday November 15. This course is a good refresher for those previously trained or who want to learn how to conduct mediation via Zoom. For roster mediators, this course is considered advanced professional development and meets your hourly requirement for 2022.

Section Two: Mediation Qualification––

6 sessions, Tuesdays November 15–December 20

Tuesday November 15––How do mediators mitigate impasse?

Tuesday November 22––How do mediators view biases & diversity?

Tuesday November 29––How do mediators use neuroscience?

Tuesday December 6––How do mediators handle power imbalances?

Tuesday December 13––How do mediators handle emotions?

Tuesday December 20––How do mediators handle ethical dilemmas?

The cost for each six-session course is $150–$350 based on your ability to pay. Please email info@mvmediation.org for more information or register here.

“MV Mediation has great courses! You should learn with them. Great people, and I had fun.”  That’s what one of our participants said after taking two courses. Here is the schedule for our fall courses; the spring schedule is coming in December. Sign up today. Course schedule

Financial Conflicts and Financial Conflict Coaching

Conflicts are often driven by financial matters. Here are some tools and strategies to get a better handle on your finances: Self-help financial tools. Also, “Hidden Brain” is one of our favorite podcasts here at MV Mediation, and they are providing insight into financial management issues. Check this out: Hidden Brain

Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Justice, Belonging

This month our Board of Directors, staff, mediators, and conflict coaches participated in a Belonging Workshop designed to encourage conversation(s) around fostering a sense of belonging for individuals from different identity groups, as well as individuals with different experiences. The aim of this workshop was to explore through conversation and lived experience how each person can feel welcomed, heard, and valued, and can generate ways to reach tangible goals. We look forward to continuing the dialogue.

Here are some articles to expand your DEI knowledge:

• Othering and belonging, marginalizing and dehumanizing video
• Diversity for social impact: why is diversity important? Diversity is important
• Diversity connection with housing crisis––housing and diversity

Social Media––C’mon––Help Us Out!

Are you following MV Mediation on social media? Click here to see what you may be

missing! Follow us for helpful tips about managing conflicts in our daily lives, and information

about community events, workshops, and courses. For example, if you go to Facebook or

Instagram during November, you’ll find tips for managing conflicts with family during the

holiday season.

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation!

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn

Conflict Coaching Can Help You

Not therapy. Not advice. So, what is Conflict Coaching?

Conflict Coaching is a one-on-one process, with the client and a coach working collaboratively to develop a new approach to conflict. It usually takes place over two one-hour sessions. Make your appointment today! There is no charge for this service for the remainder of 2022.

This month’s links for your reading pleasure

• Burnout, compassion fatigue, workplace stress self-care
• The importance of first impressions first impressions
• Are you ready to resolve conflict? get ready
• Are you humble? Learn about cultural humility here
• Find your biases and many more here

We hope these articles are helpful. Reach out if you have found a resource to share.

Mediators’ Check-in

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86378014243

• First Wednesday––Tips for mediators and coaches
• Second Wednesday––Diversity topics
• Third Wednesday––Meet our mediator
• Fourth Wednesday––Role play and/or case study



November and December Mediator Check-in Schedule

• November 9––Diversity: Belonging as a DEI concept with Agnes Kittoe-Affum
• November 16––Meet our mediator: Susan Pratt
• No Mediator Check-in––Native American Day of Mourning/Thanksgiving
• November 30––Role Play Wednesday: Dealing with shocking information
• December 7––Mediation Tips––Interim Agreements
• December 14––Diversity––MV Mediation organizational DEI survey

Taking a break––no check-ins until:

• Wednesday January 4––Mediation Tips: Structure and Flow in Mediation

Experienced Mediators’ Negotiation Clinic

Monday December 12, 10–2 with half hour for lunch

Have you led at least 10 mediation cases and would like to discuss the process of negotiation in facilitative mediation during an interactive and participatory get together? There are a few spots left for experienced mediators. Presenters will be David Ross from JAMs and Sara Barnes, Executive Director of MV Mediation. No cost for Massachusetts community mediators. Requested donation from others and from mediators in other states or countries. Register here

Board of Directors’ Corner

The Board of Directors met in November to learn about the concept of Belonging as a component of DEI. The Board discussed our progress with our Succession plan––see our Executive Director posting here. We discussed our policies about honoring various holidays, planned for our upcoming donor campaign, and put together a new committee to establish an MV Mediation Community Advisory Board. If you would like to be considered or have someone from the MV or Southcoast community to nominate for the MVMP Community Advisory Board, which will likely meet twice a year, we would appreciate hearing from you.

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve. Email info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999.

Divórcio, Disputas em Família e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia e visitação de menores, pensão alimentícia, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação. info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

Agriculture Mediation

Martha’s Vineyard Mediation is part of a national network of USDA-supported farm, agriculture, and aquaculture mediation programs. If you know of any farms, farm stands, CSAs, or agricultural/ aqua-cultural businesses, MV Mediation can help. Most services are free or low cost through USDA funding. We work with farms in Dukes, Barnstable, Bristol, and Plymouth Counties. Here is a brochure; please pass it on to those who may need these services.

On Thursday November 17 a Bristol County event is happening to help with farm land transfers. We will be speaking about agriculture mediation and conflict resolution. Take a look here,

Conflict with a Tenant or Landlord?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes, Barnstable, and Bristol Counties.  

Youth Program

MV Mediation’s Youth Program is on the move. We are going to be working with the Charter School, Edgartown School, Oak Bluffs School, MV Regional High School, and Islandwide Youth Collaborative. Our Conflict Essentials course has 12 teachers and school staff attending. This week we accepted a grant award from MV Community Foundation and MV Community Services Foundation to help support all these efforts. Reach out if you or a young person you know would like to get involved. Send an email to mvyouthmediation@gmail.com.

Healthy Aging and Home Sharing Pilot Program

Housing is a core unresolved conflict here on Martha’s Vineyard. That’s why we are so pleased to support Healthy Aging MV with their new initiative called Home Sharing. We will be providing Facilitation and Conflict Coaching services for Healthy Aging participants as the host and guest work out mutually agreeable terms for sharing a home. Find more information on their website, healthy aging, or check out their digital brochure here.

Facilitation Services

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies, and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read an article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.” 

––A recent facilitation client

Re-Entry Program

Making An Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to:

• Incarcerated individuals––pre-release
• Recently released individuals––post-release

 For more information check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

Our Mission

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation,

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an island of competent, capable, and

effective conflict resolvers.

Why I Mediate

“I like the complexity of the process and the satisfaction when the parties come to a well-defined agreement. Mediation appeals to my sense of fairness and justice.” 

––David Ross, Mediator

Thank you, Martha’s Vineyard Non-Profit Collaborative, for including us in the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice Intensive Leadership Program led by Dr. Robin Stacia and Vernetta Walker. 

Thank you, Martha’s Vineyard Bank Charitable Foundation, for

our Portuguese Translation, Interpretation, and Services Grant.

Thank you, Martha's Vineyard Community Foundation and Martha’s Vineyard Community Services Foundation, for support for our Youth programs, including providing professional development for teachers and school personnel as we seek to make our vision a reality: 

An Island of capable, competent conflict resolvers.

Thank you, Rockland Trust Charitable Foundation, for giving financial support for our Youth programs and for being a part of our vision: 

An Island of capable, competent conflict resolvers.

Thank you, Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration, for advocacy in the state legislature for mediation and conflict resolution programs.

Thank you to our donors and sponsors for your continued support!