“At times, productivity means doing nothing at all.”
Gina Greenlee
I recently found myself exhausted by all of life, all the doings, all the activities, all the commitments, etc. And what I realized was I’ve “been doing” and “not being.” Recently, I’ve experienced a speeding up of life, maybe you have as well and this speeding up has exhausted me because I feel a sense of having to do something all the time. To relieve this excess energy I meditate, I walk, I do yoga, I read, I watch tv but I never really feel restored, the next day it starts all over again.
So last Wednesday, after my evening walk, for the first time in my everyday life I was able to experience “being.” An experience that has only happened to me during a week-long meditation retreat. I got home from my walk, and I just didn’t want to feel mentally or emotionally exhausted anymore. I told myself “Enough! I’m letting it all go! I’m exhausted of having to think, think and think. I’m exhausted of feeling, feeling, and feeling. I’m exhausted of doing, doing, and doing. I’ve had enough!”
I realized as I declared my intention, I immediately slowed down, almost as if I had pushed the “stop” button and I was suddenly moving very mindfully and purposefully. As I took my shoes and socks off, there was focus, I felt the coolness of the floor and as I stood up, I felt the floor support me. I moved slowly around my kitchen, getting a drink of water, a peach out of the fridge.
As I sat at my kitchen table and took a very long deep breath, I was relieved to let it all go. All the inhabitants in my mind vacated. There was suddenly space in my mind and palatable inner peace. Another breath, a sigh of relief. I let go of feeling my emotions that weigh me down, concern for others, not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not rich enough, all of it was gone. For this moment I didn’t have to be anyone, I could just be me - imperfections and all. It was all ok.
"You cannot always control what goes on outside.
But you can always control what goes on inside." Wayne Dyer
I started to notice that the peace was not only inside of me but suddenly my whole kitchen, my home became very still, very peaceful. I made it a point to turn off my phone, not to watch tv nor get on the internet. I didn’t schedule my next day, I wasn’t concerned with unfinished tasks or anything else that I felt needed to get done. There is always tomorrow but for now I’m choosing to have some stillness, some quite time. For the next hour I sat and read a book for no other reason than to enjoy, fully enjoy, reading and being mindfully immersed in that one thing and one thing only.
This inner peace lasted for a couple of hours until I went to bed and for the first time, in a long time, my head hit the pillow with nothing more than peace in my mind, my heart and in my body. I felt comfortable, at ease and felt the goodness and the sweetness of life. All was good in the world. I woke up refreshed and restored.
I would like to suggest you try this exercise this week. It may be a half hour, a couple of hours or maybe an evening. Try letting go of your thinking and your emotions and whatever you do, do it mindfully and wholeheartedly and you will reap the rewards of feeling restored and refreshed. This disconnection with the world will rebalance your mind, heart, and body.
The world continues with our participation or not, so give yourself this gift of restoration so that you can participate more wholly and mindfully in this world. We all deserve to treat ourselves with loving kindness and compassion.
