An Introvert's Skin,

An Extrovert's Shoes

One morning, when I was still in L.A. and managing to do my 5AM walk and worship time, it was cold and I was sleep-deprived. I'm not exactly like some of my friends, who must be related to camels, at least in terms of sleep, and can seemingly go days without. That said, let’s just say I was lacking my usual hours of blissful unconsciousness. I was also scheduled to do a concert for an AGLOW group in Anaheim later that same morning.

I had to pack up my not-always-so-portable-keyboard, pull together my ragged sheet music, Yahoo-maps my directions (didn't know that was a verb, did you?), put actual shoes on my feet to go with the clothing, and drive down the I-5-South... I had no clue what I would sing and say, and I felt slightly pathetic, a bit old, and overall, rather inadequate. Still, I prayed—almost the whole way—that God would use me in my less-than-polished state of mind for His purpose and plan.

I walked in quite defensively, as I often do when I am feeling particularly vulnerable. But the warm welcome by a familiar friendly face helped ground me and remind me who I am and my purpose in being there. Their genuine kindness nourished and revived my soul. It felt good to know once more, that it's OK for me to be human—and to let God to be God!!

Long ago and faraway, when we started the ministry, I used to be quite a bit more cranky than I have been in this current season of life. Being an introvert by nature, but finding myself in an extrovert’s shoes, did not always go down well with me. I would experience a ton of grace as I went out to minister through our songs, stories, and praying for people.

But almost as soon as we packed up the van and said our goodbyes, I collapsed inside myself and deadbolted the door to my soul—at least that’s what it felt like. It often crossed my mind that, for those who might be watching, my behavior seemed quite hypocritical. That was never my intention, but it was all the defense I knew at the time.

But God is patient and, as scripture describes Him, even long-suffering. As God would woo me out from myself over the years, I slowly came to a more integrated place in life and ministry.

At end, it's God’s gig, after all—the big ones, the small ones, and all the in-betweens. And He is always faithful. Me—not so much. But He continues to parcel out such a generous grace that I keep running back for more. So, my praise goes up to my dearest friend, Jesus, who loves me just the way I am, even as He continues to refine me all the days of my life and still allows me to participate in His plan.

-Sally Klein O'Connor

11/6/23