Ha -- Maybe not the best advice...

We all get stuck .... in a rut (I've always thought or done it this way) ...in the past (if only, I should have, it was better then...) ...in the middle (I need to save money & I only live once). Being stuck can feel like you're on autopilot, bored, frustrated, debilitated, ambivalent ... or however you describe it for yourself. 

Side Note:

If you feel perfectly comfortable being "stuck", YOU are not stuck, but others might think you are. That's a different story altogether!

Why Do We Stay Stuck?

It's normal to get stuck in patterns, even ones that don't serve us. In reality, they either did at one time or still do. "Over-Anything" (eating, sleeping, thinking, partying, playing video games, hiding under the covers) all serve a purpose. They offer comfort, distraction and emotional anaesthesia. Even if the pattern may harm us in the long run, in the short term it's our body and mind's way of trying to make ourselves feel better. 

Sometimes we stay stuck because there isn't a clear path forward or the paths we do see seem risky, hard, scary ... all of which perpetuate indecision. As the Goldilocks rule explains, tasks that are significantly beyond our current capabilities are discouraging. What we know is "safer" than what could be. So we stay put, which may be the right choice in the moment, but eventually leads to stagnation.

What about the times when we try to get unstuck and it doesn't work? Like the cartoon suggests, we're probably going about it the wrong way. It's rare that things go exactly as planned and too often we don't plan for failure. Instead we judge - ourselves, the situation, others and give up. We need to anticipate what could get in the way and have a plan for it. 

There are also times where we confuse motion with action. James Clear coined the difference between motion & action. "Motion means doing something that will not produce a result by itself. Action is the type of behavior that will get you a result." We need both. Motion is about strategizing, planning & problem solving. You go to the gym, check out their rates, meet a personal trainer. Action gets you the result. -You go to the gym and you actually lift weights. 

Our mindset

What's something we have control over? Our thoughts. As James Clear points out in Atomic Habits, "Your mind is a suggestion machine." Thoughts are not orders. If your mind is suggesting, "I'm tired and don't want to start", it could just as easily suggest, "I will feel good when I finish this."  You have the power to choose which option to go with. 

Language

Stuck doesn't offer much alternative. Try identifying what it means for you. Are you frustrated? Unclear? Ambivalent? Scared? When we can more accurately identify what "stuck" is, we can address it more effectively.

Take a minute:

Explore your thoughts & underlying beliefs about the reasons you are stuck. Ask specific questions and allow the honest answers to surface. This exercise provides clarity as to what is holding you back. 

Unsticking Yourself

Usually this requires a change in your process - the how - to obtain a different result. While it can be a massive shift, getting unstuck often starts small and builds slowly. 

Get Clear

Try Tony Robbins' strategy: Especially good for Stuck between a rock and a hard place situations

• Allow 20% of your time to identify where you are stuck and why 
• Spend 80% on problem solving and acting
• What could be good about this?
• What am I willing to do?
• What am I willing to NOT do?
• How can I have fun in the process?
• Take the first step

ACT

When we focus on what we can control, it helps us to feel calmer and more capable of moving forward. Action provides small wins and those wins fuel our motivation to continue. 

Seek help

We can unstick and stay unstuck on our own, but my experience has shown it can be incredibly helpful to have someone give a push or a pull. Lots of situations, like a rocket taking off for the moon, need a boost. Whether it's a partner, friend, therapist or coach - reach out to your resources and use them to help you take a step. 

Try the Pn 5 Minute Action Plan (Precision Nutrition)

The timing isn't what matters. It could be 20 seconds, 2 minutes or 20. You can do the 5min plan once a day or multiple times.

The key ingredients:

1. Start very small
2. It requires action - something you do
3. It feels easy and simple
4. It moves you in the direction you want to go

Pick your direction:

• I want better nutrition

Take a small, simple, easy step:

• Go to the fridge and eat an apple

Direction:

• I want to feel less stressed

Action

• Take a breath in and a long breath out

Direction:

• I want to feel more connected

Action:

• Send a text

Yes, it really is this simple. Your action step can be the next step you need to take or starting the most important part. When we can measure in the moment and stack the small wins, we start to become unstuck. 

Employ the 5 Second Rule from Mel Robbins:

It's a brain hack that helps prevent self-sabotage.  

“If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.”

Use that 5 second window to do the following:

• Start counting backwards to yourself from 5 to 1: 5-4-3-2-1.
• As soon as you hit “1”, push yourself to move. You must take physical action!

According to Mel, "as you count down from 5 to 1 you’ll be distracting your brain from coming up with reasons why you should do something else instead. In addition, you’ll be placing all your focus on the goal that you’re trying to get yourself to work on. Finally, counting down from 5 to 1 is a starting ritual. It will interrupt old behavior patterns and trigger new ones."

Use Your Eraser

You can wipe the board clean and start fresh at any time. It's okay if your strategy didn't work or you find yourself back in the rut. It happens. Try not to waste time beating yourself up. Use that energy to give yourself a clean slate and start again. 

The Next Time You Want to Get Unstuck

• Recognize you are stuck and what that means for you
• Spend a bit of time understanding the Why
• Spend some more time strategizing options
• Spend the most time taking very small steps in the direction you want to go!