MENtors
Community Newsletter
March 2021
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“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
–Marcus Aurelius
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MENtors' Spot Light
Here is your opportunity to meet five incredible members of the MENtors family.
This is our way of introducing shining stars that help us drive sustainable change for boys, young men, men, and dads in Santa Cruz County
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Our Board President Rob
Describe yourself in one or two sentences? I am a dad, husband, son, member of my community, dog-lover, surfer, paddler, and-thanks to my daughter- beginner yet aspiring skateboarder.
What would you say is your life’s work? In this phase of my life, raising my children.
How did you come to live in Santa Cruz County? I was born here, my mom and dad raised me here, and, after some times living in other parts of the nation and world as a young guy, I returned.
Do you have a book to recommend and why? Hawaiki Rising by Sam Low. It tells the story of the building of this famous double-hull Polynesian voyaging canoe during the Hawaiian renaissance in the 1970s, and the efforts of a group of Hawaiians to recreate the oceanic migrations of the ancient Polynesians using ancient traditions and no modern instrumentation. I like it because it is a story of a people taking back their own history as it had come to be poorly told by the people who colonized their lands, through education, hard work, and bravery.
What do you do to relax? What are your hobbies? I like to play with my kids at surfing, skateboarding, mountain biking, soccer, and pretty much anything they want to play, and I also love to paddle outrigger canoes. I also like to cook for my mom, dad, wife, and kids.
Can you say something about your family? What were your early years like? I am very lucky to have been raised by my parents, who were and continue to be loving, caring, and fully dedicated to their family. I am also very lucky to have met my awesome wife, and to having with her happy and healthy children who value being good people.
What’s your vision for our community in the coming years? A reduction in the numbers of the underserved and marginalized, and an increase in the ability of the younger generation to communicate effectively and reduce violence.
What attracted you to join MENtors? My belief in the vision of its Executive Director, Deutron Kebebew, and the potential for the programs he puts in place to help improve the capacity of boys, young men, and fathers in evolving towards a healthier model of manhood, one that has been prevalent in our society in the past.
Is there anything, in particular, you would like MENtors to accomplish? Help boys, young men, and fathers to evolve to a healthier model of manhood.
Any words of advice to boys or men in general? The more of life I live, the more I see the value in being an active participant in the process of improving my relationships with the people around me, and that seems to mostly involve improving my ability to communicate in a healthy way with those around me; this can require me to put forth a lot of effort sometimes, and sometimes I fail, but it makes me feel better to then keep trying to get it right.
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Our 100 MENtors David
Describe yourself in one or two sentences? I am a 41 year old artist, writer, surfer, naturalist, activist, ally, and single father to a wonderful 8 year old boy. I work, in private practice as a relationship and growth coach (and future LMFT) focused on human transformation and men’s wellness.
What would you say is your life’s work? My life’s work is really about nourishing. I think I’m on this planet, in all the roles I’ve taken, to nourish people’s experiences in relationship with themselves, the planet, and others.
How did you come to live in Santa Cruz County? I moved to Santa Cruz from San Francisco in 2011 to take a job as the Supervisor of the Homeless Garden Project.
Do you have a book to recommend and why? I have two books to recommend that have literally changed my life and one that’s really just fun. “Things fall apart” by Pema Chödrön and “Access to power” by Julia Kelliher. The third is a trilogy called “His Dark Materials”.
What do you do to relax? What are your hobbies? I relax by surfing or being in nature. I love to play guitar and write songs, cook, and draw or paint.
Can you say something about your family? What were your early years like? I come from middle-class privilege and a loving family who’s struggles were balanced by the superlatives. My early years in Pennsylvania were tough as I was a particularly sensitive, artistic child, who experienced some childhood trauma, and struggled socially.
What’s your vision for our community in the coming years? My Vision for Santa Cruz in the coming years is that we begin to find ways to unify our community and bridge gaps around issues that divide us and move toward the issues that affect us all, like climate change, economic disparity, and the social challenges that result from our changing culture.
What attracted you to join 100 MENtors? I was attracted to MENtors because I really believe in the mission and vision. My practice, my parenting, and my beliefs align with MENtors vision around addressing the crisis we have around boys and men in this country. I want to work with and support this type of effort in my community.
Is there anything in particular you would like 100 MENtors to accomplish? I’d like to see MENtors be economically and programmatically successful through support so that it can create programs that have a wide reach, eventually beyond Californian borders.
Any words of advice to boys or men in general? My advice to men and boys is to try and realize that our epigenetic trauma, our struggles with social-emotional learning, and our disconnection from ourselves aren’t our fault, but they are our responsibility…today. Generation of cultural injunction have created our unsound men’s culture, and it may take generations to heal it. But, to reference MLK, Jr., this pursuit is the tree that’s worth planting who’s shade we may never enjoy.
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Our Alumni father Tony
What would you say is your life's work? Throughout many years I've discovered some of my strengths, talents, and experiences that have given me a good perspective on my life. Some are the practice of critical thinking, ability to make decisions with positive results, especially with the work that I do, evaluate my choices with common sense while visualizing the outcome. I'm a continuous work in progress, focusing on polishing and becoming an example for my kids, family, and hopefully the community.
How did you come to live in Santa Cruz County? I've been living here in Santa Cruz County since the 70s. I was brought here by my parents as a baby, then a few years later moved back to Mexico until my early teens when I suggested that I move back to Watsonville, which is part of Santa Cruz County. I've been living here ever since.
Do you have a book to recommend and why? "You are Not so Smart" by the author David McRaney. It is a book that made me realize how much aloofness is so common in my daily life, making me rethink my subconscious in depth. Why we do certain things and choices we make, things like what type of pair of jeans we buy, and why our memory is mostly fiction.
What do you do to relax? What are your hobbies? One of my favorite things to do is drive with no destination and play music, which makes me feel relaxed; again, I have gained the habit of meditation ever since I joined MENtors. One of my hobbies is a bike ride.
Can you say something about your family? What were your early years like? In my family, we are six siblings, three males and three females; I grew up most years distant from my brothers, I did not have a male role model as I wish I had, my relationship with my younger sisters was better but not great. As a child, I had a happy life even though I did not have the toys and commodities all kids should have; I spent a lot of my time playing outside with friends and going on adventures to different cities and rural areas, at times getting in some trouble which now I view as a positive experience. I had to start working when I was in my early teens to help my parents with the family's expenses.
What is your vision for our community in the coming years? I see a community engaged in conversation about issues that need to be addressed, such as parenting, better court representation for fathers, outdoor activities for families, etc. More programs (like MENtors) to stimulate our youth. I'd like to see more parent involvement.
What attracted you to join MENtors? MENtors is different from other programs I've attended or been part of. MENtors is formed by very knowledgeable, committed, and caring people who inspire my trust and comfort and have made me feel important and help me find the inner skills/strengths that I did not know.
Is there anything, in particular, you would like MENtors to accomplish? Yes, I would like to see MENtors grow in our community, branch out, and be a place where anyone can get the much-needed assistance, especially our youth, men, and dads, including girls, young girls, and moms in the near future.
Any word of advice to boys, young men, men, and fathers in general? Get involved in something positive, speak up about your feelings and seek help when in difficult situations; you are important and not alone.
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Our UCSC Intern Lucy
I moved to Santa Cruz to be able to go to UCSC. It didn’t take long for Santa Cruz to feel like home. I’ve definitely grown to really love Santa Cruz. I am currently in my third year at UCSC studying psychology. When I’m not studying though I like to relax by taking baths, riding my bike, or going on a hike. Some of my hobbies include photography and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I wanted to intern at MENtors because I am really passionate about helping people better their lives and supporting people when they need it. I also really appreciate spaces where people can feel supported and I don’t feel like there are enough of those spaces in our culture. A goal that I would like MENtors to accomplish would be to reach out to more people and expand our services. I feel like there are a lot of people that could really benefit from MENtors. Some words of advice I have for boys, men, and dads is that you don’t have to do everything alone, it's okay to ask for help.
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Our Jr MENtors Nathan SCHS
Describe yourself in one or two sentences? I would say that I am somewhat creative, I like to think about things from as many perspectives as I can. Also, I think I’m pretty friendly and approachable, and if not, I’m working on it haha!
What would you say is your life's work? I think I’m still trying to find out what my life’s work is, but I think it’s helping others in some way, whether that’s through influence subconsciously or intentionally or more directly through doing things for others.
How did you come to live in Santa Cruz County? I moved to Santa Cruz county with my family back when I was a toddler.
Do you have a book to recommend and why? I would recommend the book Sula, one of my favorite books I’ve read, and I just ordered it in paperback to reread it.
What do you do to relax? What are your hobbies? I usually take deep breaths to relax, but I’ll meditate for a little while if I'm feeling it. That’s if I have anxiety, but when I want to relax on a regular occasion, I’ll listen to, play or make music.
Can you say something about your family? What were your early years like? My early years were good; just everything seemed super forced. Like my family hid a lot about my family’s mental health and tried to force everything to be a fun time, and ignored anything bad that should be faced, kind of just ran from confrontation.
What is your vision for our community in the coming years? My vision for my community in the future is close-knit, close enough to give constructive criticism from a place of love and not cause bad blood, and help each other out as a normal thing and not a huge rare favor.
What attracted you to join MENtors? I’ve never been able to talk to people about what I want to talk about and then hear what others want to talk about and then make connections in order to help each other out. It’s just an incredible dynamic that I think can influence people towards much healthier lifestyles.
Is there anything, in particular, you would like MENtors to accomplish? Not necessarily; my group is a bit small, so we need some more people, but that’s a work in progress.
Any word of advice to boys, young men, men, and fathers in general? Keep it up. If you’re putting in work for a healthier lifestyle, it’s gonna pay off.
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Inside our Program
Did you know?
The MENtors' fatherhood and co-parenting curriculum is one of the few evidence-based curricula in the US and the world. Two couples developed this one-of-a-kind jewel of curricula-- from UC Berkeley Carolyn P Cowan and Phil Cowan and from Yale University Kyle Prutt and from Smith University March K Prutt. This curriculum was implemented locally for nine years in a randomized clinical trial with low-income and middle-class Latino and Caucasian families in Santa Cruz County. The curriculum's focus was to address the five key family relationships as a web of relationships that promote healthy and positive father involvement, encourage and support co-parenting and nurture, enhance parent-child relationships while connecting families to local resources and support. At MENtors, we are proud to be a part of this amazing curriculum implementation team with quality services that produce measurable results and impact our families. For more information about our researchers, please visit http://supportingfatherinvolvementsfi.com/
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Our 100 MENtors Who Care Santa Cruz County Spotlight.
The past two months, the 100 MENtors reading group comprised of dozen-plus multi-generational and cross-cultural men held sessions that were full of informative, insightful, and invigorating conversations in pursuit of healthy manhood and masculinity in the company of friends. These men took this journey with MENtors because they were looking for an opportunity for self-awareness, personnel growth, and a network that
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[831-588-7592] [deutron@mentorsdc.org] [www.mentorsdc.org] |
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